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#1
04-13-2007, 11:14 AM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
I'm disgusted by much of the advice in this thread. Anyone who runs in this situation is not a man and is a worthless human being (and dare I say, more "white trash" than her family could ever be). It's one thing to want her to have an abortion, but when she decides to have the kid you have to deal with it and start taking the steps to care for it. Being concerned that the child could be affected by drinking during the first trimester is reasonable. She should see a doctor if she hasn't yet. [/ QUOTE ] So it is OK for the girl to make a decision for OP that will affect him for the rest of his life and he should have NO say in it aside from trying to convince her it isn't a good idea? If a contract signed by this girl to the effect that she was going to be the sole parent/hold sole financial responsibility for this child could be enforced in court, I would suggest that before running. If OP is faced with the decision to either run away (and NEVER look back) or be stuck as the father to an unwanted child, WAY BEFORE HE IS READY TO BE A PARENT, I say: RUN, OP, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is sad is that it takes more proof of responsibility to get get a Blockbuster membership than it does to have children and there are people out there who think that getting pregnant (by mistake) should suddenly change the man/woman and make them responsible adults/parents. 
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#4
04-13-2007, 11:27 AM
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Re: Pregnant GF
I'd be careful about labeling anyone's family "white trash", or things demeaning in that manner. From my experience people from small towns that don't earn much money but have a lot of family close are some of the happiest people on earth. They certainly work to live and not the other way around.
If you are seriously thinking on bailing on this chick...wow man, just wow. Guys that bail on pregnants gf's rank right down there with child molesters. There are not too many things you can do worse. I won't share feelings about abortion, but I can say there are thousands of couples on lists that can't have kids that are just praying for the chance to adopt. I think you should just consider this. As for smoking weed, I know someone that smoked during her entire 2 pregnancies, her kids are healthy and fine now. But I sure can't reccomend anything, I'm not a doctor or anything. And finally, you play online poker for a living (not a very respectable job), you're a college dropout, and you're calling her family losers? Don't be selfish man, you knew the risks of having sex, now it's time to man up. Children will open up a whole new world you didn't knew existed. You'll learn a lot more about yourself with kids than you ever would seeing the world.
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#6
04-13-2007, 11:23 AM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] I'm disgusted by much of the advice in this thread. Anyone who runs in this situation is not a man and is a worthless human being (and dare I say, more "white trash" than her family could ever be). It's one thing to want her to have an abortion, but when she decides to have the kid you have to deal with it and start taking the steps to care for it. Being concerned that the child could be affected by drinking during the first trimester is reasonable. She should see a doctor if she hasn't yet. [/ QUOTE ] So it is OK for the girl to make a decision for OP that will affect him for the rest of his life and he should have NO say in it aside from trying to convince her it isn't a good idea? If a contract signed by this girl to the effect that she was going to be the sole parent/hold sole financial responsibility for this child could be enforced in court, I would suggest that before running. If OP is faced with the decision to either run away (and NEVER look back) or be stuck as the father to an unwanted child, WAY BEFORE HE IS READY TO BE A PARENT, I say: RUN, OP, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is sad is that it takes more proof of responsibility to get get a Blockbuster membership than it does to have children and there are people out there who think that getting pregnant (by mistake) should suddenly change the man/woman and make them responsible adults/parents. [/ QUOTE ] You're a sick [censored] and a disgusting human being. Now go drink some more jack.
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#7
04-13-2007, 11:47 AM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] I'm disgusted by much of the advice in this thread. Anyone who runs in this situation is not a man and is a worthless human being (and dare I say, more "white trash" than her family could ever be). It's one thing to want her to have an abortion, but when she decides to have the kid you have to deal with it and start taking the steps to care for it. Being concerned that the child could be affected by drinking during the first trimester is reasonable. She should see a doctor if she hasn't yet. [/ QUOTE ] So it is OK for the girl to make a decision for OP that will affect him for the rest of his life and he should have NO say in it aside from trying to convince her it isn't a good idea? If a contract signed by this girl to the effect that she was going to be the sole parent/hold sole financial responsibility for this child could be enforced in court, I would suggest that before running. If OP is faced with the decision to either run away (and NEVER look back) or be stuck as the father to an unwanted child, WAY BEFORE HE IS READY TO BE A PARENT, I say: RUN, OP, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is sad is that it takes more proof of responsibility to get get a Blockbuster membership than it does to have children and there are people out there who think that getting pregnant (by mistake) should suddenly change the man/woman and make them responsible adults/parents. [/ QUOTE ] You're a sick [censored] and a disgusting human being. Now go drink some more jack. [/ QUOTE ] I don't drink. Take a moment and think about this from a logical perspective, leaving emotions and cultural norms aside for a second. I may be wrong about this, but I would like to be convinced that I am rather than accept a societal norm that when you get a girl pregnant, she has all the power to decide if you will be a father for the rest of your life. Can you give me a good reason why it is her decision (and hers ALONE)? Keeping in mind that her decision has ramifications for you, the potential father? Please don't tell me "it's her body, her choice" cause I am more than happy to allow her to make this choice FOR HERSELF if she is willing to release me from any financial/moral responsibility. It is sad that there are so many children out there with parents who have no clue how to raise a child, rely on some form of social assistance in order to afford the expense of having children, force their parents (the grandparents of the baby) to help them raise the child (thus dashing the hopes and dreams of not only the prospective father, but also those of their parents, who, I remind you are DONE raising the kids they had). Having kids is a responsibility, not a right. Anyone thinking they can have kids willy nilly will (and should!) face the hard times that come with this decision (especially if they don't have the financial means to make things "easier"). When young girls get pregnant (by mistake) I think the FIRST and PRIMARY consideration should be to abort the fetus, continue building your life, and having a child when you are financially, morally and emotionally ready for it. Being convinced by your family and friends that you should keep it (against the dictates of logic) is no more than crabs in a bucket, making sure not a single crab gets out by pulling those who manage to get to the top right back down to the bottom… I hold firm in my recommendation to OP that he shoudl run fast and far, before the other crabs pull him down to the bottom of the bucket. If his girlfriend isn't capable of making the right decision (ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!), he shouldn't feel trapped in this cycle (which as he mentions, all his girlfriends friends/relatives are trapped in), he should make a new life for himself and never look back. Convince me that I am wrong.
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#8
04-13-2007, 01:01 PM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] I'm disgusted by much of the advice in this thread. Anyone who runs in this situation is not a man and is a worthless human being (and dare I say, more "white trash" than her family could ever be). It's one thing to want her to have an abortion, but when she decides to have the kid you have to deal with it and start taking the steps to care for it. Being concerned that the child could be affected by drinking during the first trimester is reasonable. She should see a doctor if she hasn't yet. [/ QUOTE ] So it is OK for the girl to make a decision for OP that will affect him for the rest of his life and he should have NO say in it aside from trying to convince her it isn't a good idea? If a contract signed by this girl to the effect that she was going to be the sole parent/hold sole financial responsibility for this child could be enforced in court, I would suggest that before running. If OP is faced with the decision to either run away (and NEVER look back) or be stuck as the father to an unwanted child, WAY BEFORE HE IS READY TO BE A PARENT, I say: RUN, OP, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is sad is that it takes more proof of responsibility to get get a Blockbuster membership than it does to have children and there are people out there who think that getting pregnant (by mistake) should suddenly change the man/woman and make them responsible adults/parents. [/ QUOTE ] You're a sick [censored] and a disgusting human being. Now go drink some more jack. [/ QUOTE ] I don't drink. Take a moment and think about this from a logical perspective, leaving emotions and cultural norms aside for a second. I may be wrong about this, but I would like to be convinced that I am rather than accept a societal norm that when you get a girl pregnant, she has all the power to decide if you will be a father for the rest of your life. Can you give me a good reason why it is her decision (and hers ALONE)? Keeping in mind that her decision has ramifications for you, the potential father? Please don't tell me "it's her body, her choice" cause I am more than happy to allow her to make this choice FOR HERSELF if she is willing to release me from any financial/moral responsibility. It is sad that there are so many children out there with parents who have no clue how to raise a child, rely on some form of social assistance in order to afford the expense of having children, force their parents (the grandparents of the baby) to help them raise the child (thus dashing the hopes and dreams of not only the prospective father, but also those of their parents, who, I remind you are DONE raising the kids they had). Having kids is a responsibility, not a right. Anyone thinking they can have kids willy nilly will (and should!) face the hard times that come with this decision (especially if they don't have the financial means to make things "easier"). When young girls get pregnant (by mistake) I think the FIRST and PRIMARY consideration should be to abort the fetus, continue building your life, and having a child when you are financially, morally and emotionally ready for it. Being convinced by your family and friends that you should keep it (against the dictates of logic) is no more than crabs in a bucket, making sure not a single crab gets out by pulling those who manage to get to the top right back down to the bottom… I hold firm in my recommendation to OP that he shoudl run fast and far, before the other crabs pull him down to the bottom of the bucket. If his girlfriend isn't capable of making the right decision (ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!), he shouldn't feel trapped in this cycle (which as he mentions, all his girlfriends friends/relatives are trapped in), he should make a new life for himself and never look back. Convince me that I am wrong. [/ QUOTE ] I just wanted to say that I do agree with a lot of what you said. I think it's a douchebag move to just run, but this case is a bit different. IMO in this type of situation if both people in a relationship agree that they do not want to have a child and they use measures like the pill to protect against pregnancy, for her to become pregnant and now suddenly want to keep it against OP's wishes is just as douchebag a move as the OP running away. I don't agree with this thing of "manning up" at all. I don't think women should be punished for being the only gender being able to become pregnant and I think fathers should bear an equal responsibility, but in a situation like this she's got all the power. How's that fair? She gets to decide what happens to his life. If she doesn't want the baby, giving it up for adoption is an easy enough way out. If he doesn't want it, he can't do much can he? He'll have to pay for the baby. No choice whatsoever in the matter. How's that fair? Not that I can't see both sides of the situation but everyone saying it's his responsibility to take care of the baby now, he has to get ready for fatherhood and stand by her and "man up" are a bit are indeed falling prey to a societal norm or perceived ethical responsibility.
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#9
04-13-2007, 11:28 AM
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Re: Pregnant GF
Consider this about abortion. I always thought like you did. The fetus is not a baby yet, she just goes in and somehow the baby goes away and all is well. Anyway, my GF and I had a little scare once and talked about the different options. She told me the following:
-Abortion is like major surgery. They basically go in, scramble the fetus like a blender, and then suck it out. There is a risk that she won't be able to have children after this. -Before she is allowed to have the abortion, she must go to counseling or some type of meetings... not exactly sure on this one. -She must write a letter to her baby apoligizing for what she is going to do. This seems kind of sick, but all the places here make you do that. Reading the letters from other mothers who have gone through with it are apparently enough to make you never want to do it. Whether these things are true or not, it made me change my thinking. After she goes through with it, your relationship will most likely be over. She will pretty much be scarred for life. Now it really depends on if you truly care for her or not. If you do, and you could see yourself being with her happily ever after, I would man up and raise the child with her. If not, run away I guess.
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#10
04-13-2007, 11:53 AM
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Re: Pregnant GF
[ QUOTE ]
Consider this about abortion. I always thought like you did. The fetus is not a baby yet, she just goes in and somehow the baby goes away and all is well. Anyway, my GF and I had a little scare once and talked about the different options. She told me the following: -Abortion is like major surgery. They basically go in, scramble the fetus like a blender, and then suck it out. There is a risk that she won't be able to have children after this. -Before she is allowed to have the abortion, she must go to counseling or some type of meetings... not exactly sure on this one. -She must write a letter to her baby apoligizing for what she is going to do. This seems kind of sick, but all the places here make you do that. Reading the letters from other mothers who have gone through with it are apparently enough to make you never want to do it. Whether these things are true or not, it made me change my thinking. After she goes through with it, your relationship will most likely be over. She will pretty much be scarred for life. Now it really depends on if you truly care for her or not. If you do, and you could see yourself being with her happily ever after, I would man up and raise the child with her. If not, run away I guess. [/ QUOTE ] I would say that your (bad) experience is more of a function of the state/religious interference in what is nothing more than a quick, easy, completely mundane medical procedure. If there are medical reasons why this would be dangerous for the mother then it is whole different story (and only a doctor can be the judge of that, not a clergyman or a representative of the state).
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