help out a loser (woman problem)

[Mr. Philosophy]

[ QUOTE ]
Hate to hijack this thread (A+ material), but I have a kinda similar situation...

Basically it went like this:
1) I meet this chick at the beginning of last year
2) Slow progress, eventually a few drunken hook-ups (no sex, just making out)
3) I send her an emo e-mail, much shorter and less revealing than Iggy's, but basically telling her how much I'm into her
4) She's like, "wtf? All we've done is make out a few times and now you're practically in love with me? Let's just be friends..."
5) I send another emo e-mail apologizing for not acting sooner, better communicating my emotions, etc.
6) I distance myself from her for a few weeks, but we still hang out a lot the rest of the year (we have a lot of mutual friends)

Now we're in summer, on opposite coasts, so very little communication... just a few short facebook messages. I realize how badly I [censored] things up... I'll be the first to admit it's honestly ridiculous how weakly I acted. But unlike Iggy's situation, I'm still definitely into this chick. I've definitely accepted the fact that I may have (most likely) permanently [censored] things between us, so I've moved on in that sense, but what is the best play to maximize my chances of getting back together with this girl? Just continue to be friends, suppress all emo/weak nonsense, and hope for the best?

P.S. Thanks for all the great advice in this thread. I've definitely learned from my mistakes, especially breaking the "don't write in an e-mail what you wouldn't say in person" rule.

[/ QUOTE ]

At this point she views you as a guy that is desperate and girls abhor desperation. I suggest moving on. But if you are still madly in love with girl then I suggest being seen with other girls while around her. As I and others have mentioned earlier in this thread, dating other hot girls will show her that you are someone that is to be desired. Jealously does work. And with the good advice in this thread, you should be able to find other girls to date and not mess it up.

[Fabian]

Sounds easy enough calm. Supress all emo nonsense, don't talk more than you do now. A couple facebook messages seems appropriate, don't be a stalker after crazy emo letters. If you find yourself hanging out on the same coast, go back to normal, as in hanging out with mutual friends, get friends to leave eventually, start making out, go from there. I give you at least a 25% success rate with this. Pretend the things that weirded her out never happpened and I think she might forget about it too.

If you're not going back to wherever she lives (or vice versa) after summer, forget about her and move on.

[calmB4storm]

Just to clarify, we go to the same college, so yes I'll see her again in the fall. And I'm pretty sure she (correctly) blames my actions on inexperience and a lack of confidence, not desperation. I've hooked up with a few other girls since then, which she is definitely aware of, but regardless, I still think the advice of being seen with other girls is definitely solid.

Siccjay: What specifically do you mean when you say "move on"? Do you mean like no contact with her whatsoever? I don't think this is realistic, since we hung out so much this past year...

[siccjay]

I mean just don't worry about her. You don't have to avoid her or anything, just don't initiate it. When you do talk, act like nothing ever happened.

[seemorenuts]

Dear Iggy,

If there's something you should know about me that you may not already know, I don't lie and don't play games. I'm a straight forward person and I like when people are straight forward with me, so I'll extend you that same pleasure. I think it's pretty obvious at this point that I freaked you out by asking you for a photo of the girl in question. That was never my intention and I apologize. You had me really confused and I wanted to know where I stood, and for the good of this thread and all your friends in OOT, would you please at least consider posting her photo along with say, two or three other random, yet similar women so that we can give you some feedback? After all, privacy is no longer the issue, I think if she found out about this thread the photo would not be the part that would bother her. Thanks, and may I put my peepee in your peepee? Just kidding about the last part.

[Fast Food Knight]

calm,

She is not into you at all. I'm sorry.

Best regards,

FFK

[calmB4storm]

[ QUOTE ]
calm,

She is not into you at all. I'm sorry.

Best regards,

FFK

[/ QUOTE ]

Fair enough. Like I said, I've accepted the fact that I probably [censored] things up permanently. But I know for a fact that she WAS into me for a while, at least, cuz she had her friend send me a text basically saying, "wtf are you waiting for, kiss her already." Ya it was that bad, lol. So I'd like to think I at least have some slight chance of getting back with her (although not nearly the 25% chance that Fabian estimated), but maybe I'm just in denial, who knows.

But per Siccjay's advice, I'm done worrying about her.
/hijack

[bisonbison]

Guys, when a girl who you were kinda seeing isn't into you it doesn't necessarily mean you effed up. It just means she isn't into you any more.

Ease up on yourselves and remember: you're not all things to all women.