Ask the Lounge About Men

[pryor15]

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I grew up in the Arkansas Ozarks as a registered heathen. Not many know more about being 'witnessed to' than I.

But if it's your Mother, you let it slide. You don't hurt your Mom's feelings. That's all I'm saying.

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you don't think it'd hurt her feelings if she ever found out i'd been throwing her xmas presents away?

i know it's easy to think of me as a pretentious bastard, but my mother isn't June Cleaver. she's not some naive woman who doesn't know any better. we go see films like "Far From Heaven" when i'm home.

a gift like that is nothing short of insulting.

[ChipWrecked]

So you don't throw the movies away. You stick them somewhere until she's coming, then pull them out. Sealed is OK, she obviously knows you aren't interested in them. She's sending you a message.

We are at loggerheads here. I have two things influencing my opinion. A late father who took me aside once and said, "If I ever hear you talk to your mother that way again, I will beat the [censored] out of you." And, kids of my own. Much the same will be said to my son if he treats his Mom the way you do yours.

[pryor15]

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We are at loggerheads here. I have two things influencing my opinion. A late father who took me aside once and said, "If I ever hear you talk to your mother that way again, I will beat the [censored] out of you." And, kids of my own. Much the same will be said to my son if he treats his Mom the way you do yours.

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you're reading way too much into how i treat my mother. we have an excellent relationship, and i'm not just saying that.

[katyseagull]

hello lounge men,

I've got a question for you.

Have you ever known someone (a buddy or brother) who has become involved in a relationship to the point you felt it changed him in a negative way? I mean like changed his personality?

I know someone who is pissed off that his brother has become engaged to a girl because he hates the girl and feels that she has "ruined" his brother. He feels that she has changed his brother's personality significantly and that he's not the same fun-loving guy he once was. I thought his reaction was pretty immature, like a huge overreaction, but wondered if any of you guys have ever seen anything like this before.

When I try to think of all the girls I know who have become involved in relationships or gotten married, I can't think of a one whose personality changed in a negative sense. Do you think it's a jealousy thing on the part of the brother or do some girls actually have the effect of ruining a perfectly fun guy? [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

(Is this a terrible question or what? [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img])

[MrWookie]

I know when break ups have ruined some of my friends, but I can't say I have seen relationships ruining them. Hopefully someone will have some first hand experience, but I can provide wild speculation and anecdote!

I'd expect that blaming jealousy might be reasonable, but maybe not like you'd expect. Your friend might be jealous, but not of his brother and his wonderful girlfriend, but of the girlfriend taking away his brother. Time that the brother used to spend on guy's night out is now time with his girlfriend. Consequently, his friends and his brother perceive that he's not as much fun anymore -- he's not going out with them. I think it's only natural for a man's friends to notice if all of a sudden he meets a girl and promptly drops off the face of the earth.

Also, there are definitely tails of women trying to straighten out or "fix" their men out there. It's not uncommon to see in the media. "Pussy whipped" is a well-entrenched term in our vernacular. Naturally, the media will overstate the extent and frequency to which this occurs, but to someone who's been watching stories of this on TV his whole life, he may label a lesser case in his brother as such.

[pryor15]

[ QUOTE ]
hello lounge men,

I've got a question for you.

Have you ever known someone (a buddy or brother) who has become involved in a relationship to the point you felt it changed him in a negative way? I mean like changed his personality?


[/ QUOTE ]

i have a friend who's wife is, essentially, an evil, conniving bitch. she's the epitome of that whole "fake nice" person who will the next minute stab you in the back. i get phone calls on a regular basis from people saying, "[she] said that [other person] said..." and i'm always like, "that doesn't even sound like [other person]. why do you listen to her?"

of course, he doesn't see this at all b/c he's, well, he's pussy whipped.

he's also a pretty willful person, so you can't tell him this. he's quickly gone from being a fun apiring artist to a subdued corporate person.

i recently told his sister, "you know, if he was my brother, i'd feel obligated to tell him that he needs to get out of this marriage. he's gonna turn 40 someday and realize he's wasted his life with a woman he doesn't really love"

no one disagrees with this, but no one really wants to be the one to do anything about it, and i don't really have enough cache with him to do anything, so probably nothing will happen.

personally, i've pretty much given up on the whole thing, which is sad, b/c he's a genuinely nice guy who just made a mistake

[Colt McCoy]

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he's quickly gone from being a fun apiring artist to a subdued corporate person.

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So you're really just pissed off that he grew up. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[pryor15]

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he's quickly gone from being a fun apiring artist to a subdued corporate person.

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So you're really just pissed off that he grew up. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

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well...the thing is he doesn't realize this. he still thinks of himself as an aspiring artist, but no one else does. so it's not like he chose to grow up, which is fine if that's what he wants. he sort of got conned into it.

[Colt McCoy]

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he's quickly gone from being a fun apiring artist to a subdued corporate person.

[/ QUOTE ]

So you're really just pissed off that he grew up. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

well...the thing is he doesn't realize this. he still thinks of himself as an aspiring artist, but no one else does. so it's not like he chose to grow up, which is fine if that's what he wants. he sort of got conned into it.

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Heh, apologies, I know what you're saying. I was just taking a shot at you hippy artist guys. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[pryor15]

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he's quickly gone from being a fun apiring artist to a subdued corporate person.

[/ QUOTE ]

So you're really just pissed off that he grew up. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

well...the thing is he doesn't realize this. he still thinks of himself as an aspiring artist, but no one else does. so it's not like he chose to grow up, which is fine if that's what he wants. he sort of got conned into it.

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Heh, apologies, I know what you're saying. I was just taking a shot at you hippy artist guys. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

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i figured...no worries