Any upside to allowing my 8-year-old to compete in beauty pageants?

[gusmahler]

[ QUOTE ]
They do little speaking. Being in a speech or debate class or toastmasters or an acting class would be infinitely better preparation when it comes to speaking.

[/ QUOTE ]True. I was just trying to list ANY positives from pageants. They may not speak. But just standing in front of a bunch of strangers without getting a case of the nerves has to do something for the girl, right?

[Blarg]

Meh, I dunno. I think standing in front of people being judged for something more worthwhile than their genetics would be better, and everything is more worthwhile to be judged for than your genetics. If anything, I'd be more concerned about the repercussions of validating genetics as a worthwhile criteria to be judged by.

Honestly, if I had a daughter, I wouldn't mind a bit if she was beautiful, but long term, I'd much prefer she was simply attractive enough to find a worthwhile mate and had other, more interesting and worthwhile qualities. Beauty would be nowhere near the list of things I would want most in a daughter. I'd try to nurture in her an outlook that valued physical health highly, but didn't concentrate a lot on looks. I'd like her to develop the ability -- and interest -- to take care of herself without relying on men. I fully expect that once puberty came around, her friends, and simply growing up sexually, might have a much bigger influence on her than I'd like, and so the importance of my influence might change. But I would hope that even if she went a little nuts for a while, she'd come around fairly quickly to living her life other than from the vagina out, and more as a whole, and interesting, person.

[youtalkfunny]

UPDATE: Had a talk with young princess. Laid out my laundry list of concerns of things that can go wrong. Got way too long-winded, as usual (something that should surprise no one who's read most of my posts). I'm pretty sure I lost her attention about 1/3rd the way through.

I finished up with, "Just think about it, and we'll talk more later."

Later in the day, she told me that she no longer wished to pursue the matter. I asked what changed her mind, and she said that I had convinced her.

I don't know if she was consciously agreeing with me, or just saying what she thought I wanted to hear in an effort to please me. Either way, I'm cool with it.

[ QUOTE ]
Ask her what she thinks about half of American kids not being able to locate the US on a map. Srsly do it plz.

[/ QUOTE ]

ME: Studies show that 20% of Americans cannot find the United States on a map. Why do you think this is?

HER: (smiles, big shrug)

ME: No, "I dunno" won't get you out of this. You have to give me an answer. It's OK if you're not sure, just guess.

HER: Because they don't try?

ME: Good enough. Have a cigar!

[5thstreet]

Watch little miss sunshine

[Keyser.]

[ QUOTE ]
Watch little miss sunshine

[/ QUOTE ]

surprised this took so long to be brought up. Seriously do watch the movie, if for no other reason than it's really really good.

[Mr_Moore]

haha, smart kid you have there!
Isn't 8 years too young to understand such matters? I am glad that you discussed this with your daughter, i would have too, but if the outcome was different and she would have liked to go ahead nonetheless i would not have let her.
Beauty pageants is [censored].

[n.s.]

[ QUOTE ]


ME: Studies show that 20% of Americans cannot find the United States on a map. Why do you think this is?



[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
HER: Because they don't try?

[/ QUOTE ]

Smart kid you got there. I'll bet that answer was better than any of the pagent contestants'.

[diddyeinstein]

If she wants to do it, let her try one. You just got to know that these things can get very expensive, very fast.

I used to date a girl that was big into pageants and you will need two things to make it bearable:
1) beer
2) a mini TV to watch football on.

[Belok]

Wow, sorry it took me so long to get involved in this thread. Unfortunately, I probably am the most experienced person on this forum when it comes to 18/younger beauty pageants.

Pageants are crack for little girls.

As much as I'd like to advocate letting your children pick their own interests and learn for themselves... pageants are a huge exception.

I'll be having a little girl in 2 months, and the fiance and I have already sworn - nomatter what the circumstances, she will not be involved in any pageant. Ever.


I'll list the pro's of letting your daughter into pageants first. Just because there are some positive things that are learned when competing.
1) She will become very aware of herself in public, and when in a social situation, she will know who to impress and how to do it.
2) She'll learn to BS very well in pretty much any situation. This may not be as much of an issue for pre-teens, but the Q+A training teaches you to give a pretty answer to any question - even if you haven't the slightest clue what they're asking you about.
3) She will learn to make herself look pretty.
4) Good pageant girls generally have good grades in school. Not because they care about academia, but because judges don't like voting for somebody who has a 2.2. A 3.5+ gives you major points with judges.

As for the con's...well...
1) No matter what her age, the training will make her completely self-conscious and unhappy with her image.
"I know you like your hair that way, but the judges like it like THIS"
"Walk like this and smile at the judges, they're the ones who are giving you your scores."
"Oh, you play piano? That's great...but that isn't a very attractive talent... We'll teach you to sing and dance and show yourself off!"
Every criticism. Every trained stage-skill. Every single bit of it makes the girls more and more critical of their image.

2) As a result of Con#1, the girls lose interest in gaining any other talents that would actually be beneficial in their future. Nobody cares if you can play the piano, or what books you've read, or if you're a great artist. These skills are completely disregarded in the pageant world, and therefore will have much less meaning for the girls who compete.

3) Pageant girls have pageant friends. This is pretty major. Kids are influenced by their peers so much, and once they become comfortable in this tiny little world, it is hard to leave.

4) If she competes and wins - there is another competition with prettier girls to compete against. If she competes and loses, she feels like she isn't pretty, she isn't smart, she failed and the only way to improve is to keep training to become a Barbie doll.

5) As far as the family is concerned, competitive pageantry is expensive. Despite the fact that it is YOUR little girl competing, and you've paid for her dresses, and you've paid for her voice lessons, and you've paid her entry fee. There is generally a 25-50$ cost per ticket to watch. And most events are divided into 2 days, which you need separate tickets to buy-in to. Between travel, hotel, food, tickets, and the cost of training your pretty little thing - there is no way you can come out ahead. Even if she wins, you lose.

6) If she does make it to the top, and she does win whatever their highest tier competition is - game over. For the next year she will be appearing at charity events. She will be oogled at by all sorts of kids, adults, and creepy pedos who try to pull them aside and whisper crazy [censored] in their ears (both of my sisters have had numerous creepy strangers do this). And this whole time, she will be surrounded by other pageant girls. They've been in the system for a long time, and they'll teach her how to be a part of it. She'll look up to them because they're older and they've won bigger titles. They'll be her heros and she'll strive to be like them.

7) Combine 1-6 and imagine a 18+ year old coping with all of this mental bull [censored] that the pageants have put them through.
Bulimia. Anorexia. Plastic Surgery. Difficulty having any decent stable relationship. Self-loathing. It is a dark world, and I have seen it through my sisters.




Basically, if your daughter enters pageants, there are 2 options.

1) She loses, feels awful about herself for a few days, and hopefully loses interest (though many dont).

or worse
2) She wins, idolizes other girls who have been doing this their whole lives, and becomes a part of this [censored] up little world.

If she does get involved, and does decide to compete - expect her to be much closer with Aunt Cindy. Unfortunately, in your situation, even if your girl loses, Aunt Cindy will be there to help her "get better" and make up for whatever she feels like she lacked the first time.


My suggestion...encourage her to try something else. Anything else. If your daughter is overly interested in being a "pretty girl" and being on-stage - suggest balet, or singing classes, or an instrument.

I'm very serious - keep her as far away as possible.

Hope it turns out alright.

*edit* just noticed a few posts up that she lost interest
HOORAY
I'm leaving my rant because I think it's good.
enjoy [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Blarg]

Yeah, good post, glad you left it.