Staying friends with people while net worth / income diverges

[ThaSaltCracka]

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but once the richer person starts talking (read: bragging) about certain stuff, then the person w/ less money starts to get a little attitude.

[/ QUOTE ] Attitude it the wrong word. I mean, friends are pretty much aware of how much people make. If you are going around sharing that information, then you for some reason want people to know. Thats not a good thing IMO. What good comes from telling your friends how much you make? It can only bread resentment of some form. It amazes me actually that people don't realize this. It doesn't matter if thats fair, but its a reality.

So friends shouldn't be bragging about expensive [censored] they are buying/doing. I also realize that people can make a comment, that isn't truly bragging but can be construded. I think in an incident like this, people need to understand perspective.


Last comment on this. The way I see it, if you are friends with someone, money shouldn't matter. Suppose your the friend that has more money, so you buy your buddies dinner sometime. As long as you have good friends, they'll get you back somehow. Maybe driving your drunk ass around. Taking you to game that you scored from free tickets too. Inviting you over for a BBQ, etc. There are literally tons of ways to "hook" up a friend then just buying him something. So for me, I don't thing its rude if a friend offers. My friends all know it gets reciprocated.

[Hollywade]

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Are people really petty enough to let income / net worth affect who they spend their time with?

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I have a feeling that this just happens naturally without any intent or malice. It is common for rich people to live in the same neighborhoods as other rich people. The same goes for poor people, and those in the middle. It only makes sense for people to eventually become friends with co-workers and neighbors. You probably won't stay as close with your high school and college buddies, because you normally aren't going to be living in close proximity to them as you get older.

[oddjob]

i have friends that are poor. i have friends that are rich. no one resents, or thinks any different of each other because of their financial status. taht's cause i don't hang out with douchebags.

as for your self. if you stop looking at material things as a measure of happiness and success, then you will be so much more content in life.

it's retarded for money to even be an issue when it comes to friendship.

[Blarg]

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OP - You're right, but it depends on the people.

I consider myself doing average for my age, maybe a little behind, and definitely find myself jealous of my friends that have become very successful.

There's no doubt that people prefer to be around people in their peer group / class.

It's kind of like the idea that you love to see your friends succeed, just not more than you.

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"Every time a friend of mine succeeds, a little part of me dies." -- Gore Vidal

[Blarg]

I think your friends from high school are more likely to, than your friends from college.

[SomethingClever]

I was reading through this thread and thinking about my college friends, wondering if any of them had drifted apart due to this.

I don't think any of us has. Of course, none of us are doing markedly better or worse financially than the others. That's kind of weird in and of itself, now that I think about it.

Of course I have other friends that make more/less than me, but it's not something that comes into play, ever. Probably because I have more fun doing low-stakes activities that everyone can enjoy, like getting shithammered and playing video games.

[z28dreams]

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wow, just wow. they're you're friends, be happy for them.

and it's not like you're struggling or anything, don't you drive a pretty nice sports car or something?

maybe i am just harboring some proletarian delusions, but to me it seems like once you make a comfortable amount of money for your life circumstances (for me this would be like 50 or 60k which i should make shortly after finishing school) who cares if someone has a little more or less than you?

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i dunno, for some reason i remembered you posting authoritatively on sports cars pretty often, and knowing a lot about the pharma / medical industries and other business stuff, just kinda figured you were some kind of professional.

me and my negative-six figure net worth are going to be hanging out with daryn the baller OOT mod in a few hours, i'll see how it feels and let you know.

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I have a fairly professional job, it's just kind of dead-end right now. I'm looking to apply to some MBA programs soon - gonna take the GMAT and see how I do.

I hope I don't sound like a huge prick from this thread - but keep in mind it's just how I feel - not how I actually react in these situations. My discomfort comes more from being dissatisfied with where I am - not the success of others.

[mason55]

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I think your friends from high school are more likely to, than your friends from college.

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Interesting, I've found this to be the opposite, same with most everyone I know.

Assuming you're trying to say you're more likely to stay friends with your friends form high school than your friends from college.

[mason55]

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I was reading through this thread and thinking about my college friends, wondering if any of them had drifted apart due to this.

I don't think any of us has. Of course, none of us are doing markedly better or worse financially than the others. That's kind of weird in and of itself, now that I think about it.

Of course I have other friends that make more/less than me, but it's not something that comes into play, ever. Probably because I have more fun doing low-stakes activities that everyone can enjoy, like getting shithammered and playing video games.

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Yeah, my friends from college all live near each other or even together. We all have similar jobs and make about the same amount of money. Some make 80k vs. 120k for others btu it's all about the same. Been out of school for 3 years. Maybe things will magnify in another 3 or 4 years.

[Blarg]

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El D:

I don't think the problem is usually the actual cost of going out. Far more often, I believe it would be the low-income people having a chip on their shoulder.

Maybe I'm just a terribly jealous person, but seeing friends more successful than me REALLY bothers me.

I still see them and try to suck it up, but I'm terribly uncomfortable when talk about career comes up.

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It's really unfair to arbitrarily assign this to one or the other side of the better off/worse off equation. I can understand how you feel, but not everybody is like that.

Actually, I like hearing about my more successful friends' adventures. It's a vicarious thrill, armchair adventuring. And because it's a friend telling the stories, you usually wind up getting a funnier and more honest story. It can bring out the absurdities more, and get at what the situation was REALLY like, including all the stuff you wouldn't hear from somebody else, like which chick was hot and who she was doing, who was a closet racist or really full of sh*t, who doesn't pay his bills, what officials are corrupt, who had remarkably ugly kids or a dog always running around with his pink thing sticking out, whatever. I love hearing those stories.

Heck, I think that's one of the things guys do best -- they tell "How I f*cked something up or got f*cked up or got into something f*cked up, and the assh*les I met along the way" stories.

If a rich guy starts talking spreadsheets or something, I'm probably gonna doze, sure.