ask me how I ended up 44, never married and with no kids - Page 4

MrWookie · #31 08-22-2007, 02:09 PM

I confess, Dom. I first read this before there were any replies and didn't think it would go anywhere. I can't say I have to offer much myself, but it turned into a pretty interesting read. It makes me chuckle to imagine how this thread might have gone in OOT or BBV4Life, though [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img].

Dominic · #32 08-22-2007, 02:15 PM

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I confess, Dom. I first read this before there were any replies and didn't think it would go anywhere. I can't say I have to offer much myself, but it turned into a pretty interesting read. It makes me chuckle to imagine how this thread might have gone in OOT or BBV4Life, though [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img].

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I thought it might be a stretch but could also generate some interesting discussion...

Wynton · #33 08-22-2007, 02:22 PM

Dom, I see two genuine reasons why you're not married with kids:

(1) You don't really want that, notwithstanding your protests to the contrary.
(2) Blind luck.

Falling in love with the right person takes no more skill than falling off a log, provided there is a log nearby. But if you don't want that, it's easy to avoid the logs.

This kind of reminds me when people ask why they don't have more sex (not that I get asked that much). I think the answer is that it usually is not a priority for them, even though they may think it is.

I grant you, though, that having meaningless sex is somewhat less tricky than finding a suitable spouse.

(Cue: bad jokes)

Dominic · #34 08-22-2007, 02:22 PM

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Based on your career choices (film and kinda poker) it sounds like they are all encompassing types of things. They occupy a lot of time in ways that are unpredictable in income, location, etc. Those aren't attributes that are conducive to stable long term relationships.

Doesn't mean you're bad or anything, just that the people you'll tend to meet will be in similar fields, similarly free spirits and not keen to settle down and have kids. To get married and have kids you've got to meet people of that mindset. You might find someone like that, like you, but odds are smaller given the demographic it sounds like you've spent your life around.

I'm the polar opposite in life experiences. God knows I (and many others I'm sure) would love to have had a taste of the life you led doing porn work [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]. But, my skills and personality don't lead that way, just as I suspect yours didn't lead to the more "normal" life in the burbs surrounded by people who are settling down.

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Interesting...you're probably right. The number of women I've met through the film and TV business is ridiculous, but not one of them were interested in "settling down," so you're right, there. I'm much more interested in meeting women outside of that world now, you know?

pryor15 · #35 08-22-2007, 02:54 PM

how's the financing for the film coming along?

bogey1 · #36 08-22-2007, 02:54 PM

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Based on your career choices (film and kinda poker) it sounds like they are all encompassing types of things. They occupy a lot of time in ways that are unpredictable in income, location, etc. Those aren't attributes that are conducive to stable long term relationships.

Doesn't mean you're bad or anything, just that the people you'll tend to meet will be in similar fields, similarly free spirits and not keen to settle down and have kids. To get married and have kids you've got to meet people of that mindset. You might find someone like that, like you, but odds are smaller given the demographic it sounds like you've spent your life around.

I'm the polar opposite in life experiences. God knows I (and many others I'm sure) would love to have had a taste of the life you led doing porn work [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]. But, my skills and personality don't lead that way, just as I suspect yours didn't lead to the more "normal" life in the burbs surrounded by people who are settling down.

[/ QUOTE ]

Interesting...you're probably right. The number of women I've met through the film and TV business is ridiculous, but not one of them were interested in "settling down," so you're right, there. I'm much more interested in meeting women outside of that world now, you know?

[/ QUOTE ]

You'll have to develop hobbies that meet them. I did a coed sport (volleyball) and met my wife. Maybe find a similarly coed activity like biking, hiking, reading, etc. Given where you live, it may be harder to find such activities, I don't know. Check out your local "hippy" type publication and see what's going on. Bar crawls, concerts in the park, what not.

It's probably tougher at 44 than 30 given the demographic looking for "husband material" and may be tougher in Vegas than in a less, um, hedonistic(?) city [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]. I'm not trying to be discouraging, but you play poker, it's all about the odds. You've got to take up activities that increase your odds of meeting women with similar life goals.

If you want kids, you may have to find a much younger woman or consider no kids of your own and going the step-father route. Finding a 40-year old woman that hasn't had kids and still wants them is, again, shrinking the size of your pool of potential mates.

Dominic · #37 08-22-2007, 03:38 PM

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how's the financing for the film coming along?

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well, it's sort of like having a girlfriend. either you have it or you don't. all the flirting up to the point of commitment doesn't mean a damn thing. Although, with the girlfriend, at least the flirting part is pleasant.

Dominic · #38 08-22-2007, 03:41 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Based on your career choices (film and kinda poker) it sounds like they are all encompassing types of things. They occupy a lot of time in ways that are unpredictable in income, location, etc. Those aren't attributes that are conducive to stable long term relationships.

Doesn't mean you're bad or anything, just that the people you'll tend to meet will be in similar fields, similarly free spirits and not keen to settle down and have kids. To get married and have kids you've got to meet people of that mindset. You might find someone like that, like you, but odds are smaller given the demographic it sounds like you've spent your life around.

I'm the polar opposite in life experiences. God knows I (and many others I'm sure) would love to have had a taste of the life you led doing porn work [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]. But, my skills and personality don't lead that way, just as I suspect yours didn't lead to the more "normal" life in the burbs surrounded by people who are settling down.

[/ QUOTE ]

Interesting...you're probably right. The number of women I've met through the film and TV business is ridiculous, but not one of them were interested in "settling down," so you're right, there. I'm much more interested in meeting women outside of that world now, you know?

[/ QUOTE ]

You'll have to develop hobbies that meet them. I did a coed sport (volleyball) and met my wife. Maybe find a similarly coed activity like biking, hiking, reading, etc. Given where you live, it may be harder to find such activities, I don't know. Check out your local "hippy" type publication and see what's going on. Bar crawls, concerts in the park, what not.

It's probably tougher at 44 than 30 given the demographic looking for "husband material" and may be tougher in Vegas than in a less, um, hedonistic(?) city [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]. I'm not trying to be discouraging, but you play poker, it's all about the odds. You've got to take up activities that increase your odds of meeting women with similar life goals.

If you want kids, you may have to find a much younger woman or consider no kids of your own and going the step-father route. Finding a 40-year old woman that hasn't had kids and still wants them is, again, shrinking the size of your pool of potential mates.

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bogey, I appreciate the advice, but I'm not really asking for advice on how to meet girls. I can do that just fine! [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

And you're wrong about Vegas...there are active biking, hiking, mountain-climbing and golfing communities here...along with other activities...Vegas is a lot more than gambling and hedonism.

I just have to actually join in one of these activites, I guess.

bogey1 · #39 08-22-2007, 03:51 PM

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bogey, I appreciate the advice, but I'm not really asking for advice on how to meet girls. I can do that just fine! [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

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Sorry, my misunderstanding. I knew you didn't have problem meeting girls in general, but it sound like you weren't meeting types of girls you wanted to meet.

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I just have to actually join in one of these activites, I guess.

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Well, yea, there is that. And moreover, finding one you actually like vs. just because it might have hot chicks [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

VoraciousReader · #40 08-22-2007, 03:56 PM

Do you have any person that sticks out in your memory as someone that you wish you had pursued a permanent relationship with?

(BTW, I can't speak for the mid-forties set, but NOTHING sucks about being a 33 year old woman. In fact, your sex drive is higher than ever and young guys seem to dig it.)