Personal Dilemma

[Borodog]

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Does Mrs. Borodog read 2p2?

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No, but there's nothing here I haven't already told her, and she does know about the site. I think she even has two posts. In other words, this thread cannot be trainwrecked. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[nolanfan34]

Lots of interesting thoughts in this thread.

I think you need to encourage her to interview, but be sure that she's thinking about all of the logistical/lifestyle challenges involved. I only worked on the state level, but I worked with people who worked in Federal gov in press secretary positions (essentially what I did for state senators). You have to REALLY love politics to put up with that grind. Sounds like maybe she does.

Very tough situation though. When I asked my wife's dad for her hand in marriage (turned out to be unnecessary, but was important to her), one of the things he did mention was that he hoped that her life wouldn't be relegated to following me around for my career, and that I would do the same for her if it made sense (I was still working in TV at the time). It was easy to say "no problem" at the time to that, but I can certainly appreciate the challenge it would put me in if it happened that way.

When one dream job collides with another is something I haven't had to deal with yet.

[john voight]

your wife totally reminds me of Jenna Fischer.

What would you do for Jenna?

[poincaraux]

Any chance your lecturer position would let you take a sabbatical or a year-long leave of absence? You might go to DC and find something just as good as your current job. Or, you might find out your NC happiness outweighs her DC happiness.

[JaBlue]

So you talked to your wife about this and she still wants to at least check out the job? I would think that if you were clear about exactly how much you prefer NC over DC, and if she was happy in NC, I don't see why she would even want the DC job.

As is, I guess you just have to wait and let her at least check it out. Just gather all the information about the problem from both your perspectives, lay it out, and I think the answer will become obvious.

If you are overwhelmingly happy now and she is happy now [NC] then why would you move to where you would be unhappy and she would be overwhelmingly happy [DC]?

This whole thing sounds like an incredible inconvenience for very little to no gain. That isn't to slight your wife or her ambitions, it just seems that when you consider your overall happiness as a group in each situation it seems obvious that NC is greatly preferable to DC.

And why the F would you rather live in DC than NC, anyway? That would be the shittiest part IMO. NC >>>>>> DC in my book (I'm from VA).

Maybe your wife could inquire about a position for Paul that doesn't necessitate being in DC? I don't know if there is any such thing, but maybe its worth a shot.

[MoBetta]

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If you are overwhelmingly happy now and she is happy now [NC] then why would you move to where you would be unhappy and she would be overwhelmingly happy [DC]?

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True, but that all changes now that this situation has been presented. If she doesn't take the job even though she wants to, she may be unhappy and filled with regret at "what could have been."

[jeffnc]

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There's nothing to decide until a job is offered. A million things (crappy coworkers, crappy boss, crappy pay, crappy city) that can make getting anxious unnecessary.

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It's not about deciding now, and it's not about getting anxious now. It's about taking the opportunity to think of this from different angles so he has more information, more time, and more ideas to work with.

[MicroBob]

[ QUOTE ]
When I asked my wife's dad for her hand in marriage (turned out to be unnecessary, but was important to her), one of the things he did mention was that he hoped that her life wouldn't be relegated to following me around for my career, and that I would do the same for her if it made sense (I was still working in TV at the time). It was easy to say "no problem" at the time to that, but I can certainly appreciate the challenge it would put me in if it happened that way.

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very similar boat Nolan.
When I worked in radio/sports I had to travel to wherever I could get a job.
My wife wasn't exactly in love with the small-market Florida town I was shipped too.
I even gave up this job that i really liked to take a worse position in upstate NY because she preferred to be in the north.

But all the travel and uncertainty and crappy pay and trying to compromise with each other's career and living-location goals had already caused enough stress on us and we soon ended up divorced.

We might not have been right for each other anyway.
But this moving around stuff for various career-ambitions can cause some serious damage when there's even the slightest bit of conflict.

[Borodog]

Update.

Wifey is interviewing next Tuesday or Wednesday. I don't even think they are interviewing anyone else. I'm 90% sure they're going to offer her the job.

I am dismayed. She's talking about sharing a [censored] apartment with some dude we don't even know. WTF? I'm 35. I don't need this [censored] anymore. I have a house and a yard and a hot tub and my dream job and it's all going to go down the shitter.

[img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[boomshakalaka]

your wifes gonna cheat on you with this your congressman.

The question is, will you still support him?