Strategy for going to prison

[dlk9s]

My four year wedding anniversary was yesterday and I came out of it relatively unscathed.

[elus2]

[ QUOTE ]
I'd probably scrap some skin off around my dick and ass, to make it look like I had an awful STD. I would maintain these cuts for the entirety of my prison sentence.


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You'll probably still be targeted by inmates that actually have nasty STDs and ironically the cuts you administered to yourself will make you more susceptible to viruses and bacteria from the poofs you share a cell with.

[Hawklet]

More interesting variant:

You're in prison as a child molestor.

I'm sure that will change the answers significantly.

[[Phill]]

Hawlet,

As a child molestor you are able to serve your sentence in isolation from gen pop.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
I'd tape my butthole shut, and get a procedure to poop in a bag..

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You seriously think they wouldn't f*ck your colostomy hole? You sound like the kind of guy who would have a real sexy colostomy hole, to me.

[Borodog]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'd tape my butthole shut, and get a procedure to poop in a bag..

[/ QUOTE ]

You seriously think they wouldn't f*ck your colostomy hole? You sound like the kind of guy who would have a real sexy colostomy hole, to me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks for the nose trick, buddy.

[SNOWBALL]

Learning Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu would be a great way to defend against rape attempts from your huge muscular cellmate, but for everything else, it would be terrible. Going to the ground with your opponents leaves you incredibly vulnerable to attacks from others. I've fought multiple opponents standing up with good results. I would never willingly go to the ground in a situation like a cafeteria fight, or a prison yard fight, or a multiple opponent shower rape attempt.

[Los Feliz Slim]

Every day:

6:00AM: Wake Up
6:01AM-Noon: Cry
Noon: Lunch
12:30-7:30: Cry
7:30-8:00: Dinner
8:00-9:30: Cry
9:30: Sexy time with wife.
9:34: Go to sleep.

[Eclipse86]

1. Paint my face and body all black.
2. Learn to talk in ebonics.

haha, anyways, id probably sell all my possessions and use the $$ to add razor blades all around my azz, and my teeth.

[Dynasty]

[ QUOTE ]
OZ = tougher than real prison?

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Somebody died in OZ every thirty minutes. Even old men like Bob Rebadow and William Giles were killing badasses.