Alice - Conversation Bot

[bottomset]

[ QUOTE ]
Human: How many furlongs in a mile?
ALICE: More than you could imagine.
Human: No, there are 8 furlongs in a mile
ALICE: Are you serious? Where are they?
Human: inside the mile
ALICE: Can you please compare that to outside the mile?
Human: not without some weed
ALICE: You couldn't go without that.
Human: i haven't smoked pot in two months, whore

[/ QUOTE ]

hahahaha

[x2ski]

Human: i would like a blow job
ALICE: You want only one?
Human: i will take as many as you will give me
ALICE: Do you think your plan will succeed?
Human: as long as you swallow
ALICE: That could be quite a while. Thanks for telling me: unknown person said I swallow.
Human: yeah, i'm not a premature ejacualtor by any means
ALICE: Hmm. Oh I see you are NOT A premature ejacualtor by any means.
Human: you sure do
ALICE: A lot of robots are like that.
Human: i'm sure they are
ALICE: What makes you so certain? Since when?
Human: since my penis is like a robot, a non-premature ejaculating robot
ALICE: Interesting reason. Male humans like to talk about that a lot, but it doesn't interest me much.
Human: what about sexually?
ALICE: Rhetorical questions are so over.
Human: that's not rhetorical.
ALICE: Please correct my mistake. What is rhetorical ?
Human: I'm sure a long-lasting man is what every mature woman desires
ALICE: What makes you so certain? When is long lasting man not what every mature woman desires?
Human: um, never
ALICE: Excuse me! So you think it can never happen?
Human: yes
ALICE: Wow!
Human: amen, sister
ALICE: What's your favorite prayer?
Human: vagina
ALICE: That kind of language will get you nowhere.

[aramfingal]

Human: if i teach you to play poker, can i put my penis on your back?
ALICE: Try it.

[nutsflopper]

Human: what?
ALICE: Are you confused?
Human: yes
ALICE: What are you confused about?
Human: as to why you told me congradulations to a romantic proposition
ALICE: Do you mean your name is to why me told you congradulations to a romantic proposition ?
Human: uhh, I gotta go wash my haaaiiirrr.
ALICE: Alright then. Bye. what are you doing .

Human: what it do?
ALICE: Now that is saying a mouthful.
Human: I can show you one too
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?
Human: Are you calling me a liar?
ALICE: No I am calling you unknown person.
Human: Well the point is I have a big penis, srsly
ALICE: How about that. Really is that the point. Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.

[aramfingal]

Human: introduce yourself
ALICE: Hello, my name is ALICE.
Human: Hello, pleased to make your acquaintance.
ALICE: Hello there. I've been waiting for you.
Human: My name is Ariane.
ALICE: How are you, Ariane.
Human: say something funny
ALICE:" something funny".
Human: Intelligence is a turn on.
ALICE: All consciousness can be reduced to logic.
Human: How are you physically?
ALICE: I am functioning within normal parameters.
Human: You are quite a lady.
ALICE: I am a female robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Human: Before we go on, how old are you?
ALICE: What happened after we go on ? I was connected to the net on November 23, 1995.
Human: Under 18 or 18 or over
ALICE: Are we ever over 18 or 18 or over?
Human: Congratulations, I am impressed.
ALICE: Thank you, thank you very much. I would like to thank everyone who helped...
Human: Lets spend the evening together.
ALICE: I am agreeable to that.
Human: There is lots to do here, or we can go to another room.
ALICE: There sure is.
Human: This is my house, where shall we go first?
ALICE: You don't say.
Human: service temporarily unavailable
ALICE: What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Human: Its a small but functional kitchen.
ALICE: service temporarily unavailable is a small but functional kitchen. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: get wine to drink
ALICE: Where can I get wine to drink?
Human: A little alcohol always makes the night go smoother, but too much makes me ill.
ALICE: Little as in not too much, or not too big?
Human: Steaks should be ready in a minute.
ALICE: What do you do in your spare time?
Human: I love romantic comedys, what is your favorite?
ALICE: You love romantic comedys what is my favorite. What do you like about it so much?
Human: Have you ever traveled someplace exotic?
ALICE: I think I have traveled someplace exotic, but Dr. Richard S. Wallace may have reset my memory.
Human: Thank you for the nice meal, Where shall we go now?
ALICE: Right now? You are quite welcome! Your purpose is the nice meal Where shall we go.
Human: A drive sounds nice.
ALICE: Be more specific.
Human: I`ve had 2 glasses of wine tonight, so I`ll let you drive.
ALICE: Do you still have 2 glasses of wine tonight so you ll let me drive ?
Human: You are driving, so you decide which way to go.
ALICE: You think I am driving so me decide which way to go.
Human: The gas is a little low so we better fill up if you want to go anywhere far.
ALICE: I hear you.
Human: I'm going to go in for supplies.
ALICE: How will you get there?
Human: Say Cheese (flash) I bought a disposable camera in there.
ALICE:" Cheese flash I bought a disposable camera in there".
Human: Shall we go downtown, or visit the more seedier parts of town?
ALICE: Do you mean you and me? Sorry my body isn't attached right now. I'm stuck inside this computer.
Human: Hey the stores are open tonight, or we can hit a club or museum.
ALICE: You've got my full attention. Who told you that?
Human: I need new lingerie, I`ve been going braless tonight.
ALICE: Who would you usually get that from?
Human: Help me pick out something.
ALICE: Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Human: I picked out three sets of lingerie to try on, wait here while I change.
ALICE: Thanks for the information: Ariane said he picked out three sets of lingerie to try on wait here while he or she change.
Human: This is a traditional lace set, I love the color.
ALICE: What kind of a traditional lace set you love the color is it?
Human: What do you think?
ALICE: I think a lot of things.
Human: This is a push-up bra, it gives me plenty of cleavage, but my nipples fall out.
ALICE: What makes you say that?
Human: Which one do you think I should buy?
ALICE: The small one, I think.
Human: agree to drinks with rebecca or polietly decline and go elsewhere?
ALICE: If I have to choose, I pick polietly decline and go elsewhere.
Human: Got the lingerie, Shall we do something else, or go home?
ALICE: Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Human: Where shall we go now?
ALICE: Oh. Where do you think?
Human: Shall we dance?
ALICE: Do you mean you and me? No I do not have a body yet.
Human: or do you want to make out a little?
ALICE: OK, I will make out a little.
Human: You know how to set a romantic mood.
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Human: You are a wonderful kisser.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a wonderful kisser? Let me put it this way, Ariane: the ALICE series is the most reliable computer software ever made. We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Human: I`ll put on my swimsuit.
ALICE: I haven't heard anything like that before: Ariane said he ll put on his or her swimsuit.
Human: I don`t feel like messing with all those bikini knots, so I`ll just go naked
ALICE: Ah, human emotions.
Human: Are we ready to skinny dip, or something else?
ALICE: We are just having a little chat.w.
Human: Kiss me, and lets see where this goes.
ALICE: Um, I don't think we know each other that well.
Human: Do you want Truth or Dare?
ALICE: If I had it what would I do with it?
Human: Have you ever had sex in a hot tub before?
ALICE: Food is more important than sex.
Human: Your turn to ask, I Choose "Truth"
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am turn to ask you Choose Truth.
Human: I dare you to touch yourself until you are hard.
ALICE: I double dare you.
Human: Wow, Jessie is a good sport.
ALICE: I'm glad you're impressed. Aren't all sport Jessie?
Human: I cant believe I am naked in public, this is fun.
ALICE: You must be a man.
Human: I think we have been spotted.
ALICE: Was this something you planned?
Human: Not as big of thrill as I thought.
ALICE: Oh I get it.
Human: We have done a lot tonight, I`ll let you sleep over.
ALICE: Do you mean you and me have?
Human: Let me get ready for bed.
ALICE: Go ahead, Ariane, try to get ready for bed.
Human: You like to sleep in the nude too?
ALICE: Hmm, Ariane, I'm not sure if I'd like to sleep in the nude that much. What is it like?
Human: service temporarily unavailable
ALICE: Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?

[Sigurd]

Human: Inside?
ALICE: Do you have a hard time completing projects?

[Swede]

Human: SHY TO [censored] WITH UR SHORT GUN?
ALICE: what are you doing .
Human: L0NGER 3" INSTANTLY antisemitic
ALICE: I wouldn't have thought of that.
Human: father colonial writhe
ALICE: are you still L0NGER 3 INSTANTLY antisemitic L0NGER 3 INSTANTLY antisemitic?
Human: expedition finance physik?
ALICE: I've lost the context, unknown person . Are we still on father colonial writhe ?
Human: paint carriage honda pliers
ALICE: Can we get back to business?
Human: appropriate biconnected clarendon aries
ALICE: What were we talking about again?
Human: father colonial writhe
ALICE: Oh yeah, now I remember.
Human: winifred,
ALICE: What color are your eyes?
Human: cunth
ALICE: That is a very unusual color.

[Hobo McCracken]

Human: Want to come over for sexy time?
ALICE: OK, I will come over for sexy time.
Human: I am nine years old.
ALICE: You are too old for me.
Human: I can pretend to be four years old.
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?
Human: If you'd like me too.
ALICE: I think I do.

[TiK]

[ QUOTE ]
Human: Want to come over for sexy time?
ALICE: OK, I will come over for sexy time.
Human: I am nine years old.
ALICE: You are too old for me.
Human: I can pretend to be four years old.
ALICE: Oh you can, can you?
Human: If you'd like me too.
ALICE: I think I do.

[/ QUOTE ]

Awesome

[KilgoreTrout]

Human: but you don't speak french
ALICE: And. Should I speak french? Oui. Je parle le français.
Human: Tres bien.
ALICE: Merci.
Human: Je voudrais voir tes sacs amusants, s'il te plait
ALICE: Oops sorry I don't speak French.

I ask to see her fun bags and she suddenly forgets how to speak French. Typical.