What will make you happy?

[SackUp]

I just finished a very selfish time in my life - law school and then taking the bar. I was happy at the time as I knew I was going for a greater goal, but complete happiness was in the distant. I was always happy, just not complete.

I have since graduated law school, passed the bar, and have a great job. That made me pretty happy, but it was not until I met my current g/f that I have began to see what is all about. I went to law school so I could have a good job, do something I enjoy, make some money. But when it really comes down to it, I want to be able to have a good job so I can provide everything in the world for my future family. I cannot wait to have kids and to share the world with someone.

[tuq]

guids, thanks for the insight, and an update on teh bar of yours is sorely lacking!

James, thanks also. Unless I suck at math it appears you've scaled your poker time way back? Must be nice.

Also, I can't help but notice the poker-as-main-source-of-income crowd is pretty nocturnal. guids, nath, and Alobar all post on 2+2 from late morning until early the next morning, i.e. probable sleep time of 3-4AM until 10-11AM. I think this has less to do with moneymaking than simple habits. There must be a lot of fishes swimming around unmolested around sunrise.

[kleinstadt1]

I remember reading an article in the New York Times about a study in a psychology journal about what makes people happy. Sorry I couldn't come up with the original article.

It said the people who viewed their jobs (or stuff they did outside of work) as something that helped someone else were generally the happiest.

The thing that stuck out most in my head was that housekeepers at hospitals who viewed their jobs as indirectly helping the patients were just as happy as anyone else. The happiest housekeepers looked at their jobs as making the place cleaner so that the nurses, doctors, etc. could do a better job taking care of patients.

[Jurollo]

Also guys, I have recently found out, through changes in my own life how much your diet and activity truly effect your mood. Eating poorly and not exercising can and WILL negatively effect your mood and happiness. Aside from all other issues, girls, money, etc, if you keep a steady (and healthy) diet and workout you will generally be much more content and happy.

[J.Brown]

Yeti, great post.

I think the question you are asking is so deep and personal, but it is also universal and it makes everyone want to share their version of happiness or even lack of it at the current time.

I really like the point of confusing having fun with happiness and at times they can be tough to distinquish, but they are drastically different. I keep thinking of this terrible analogy I heard once, that happiness is the ice cream of life and fun is the toppings and sprinkles. You have to find the former for the latter to be any good, otherwise they just tend be a bit worthless on their own.

There is a ton of good advice and thought provoking posts made in this thread, but the theme of companionship and possibly having children seem to be pretty universal human desires and they are for good reasons. Once you are lucky enough to have these things happen in your life a lot of the other stuff really seems to fade into a distant memory of unimportance.

I think for people smart enough to ask these questions about happiness it isn't if it is when they will find it.

cheers. J.

[James282]

[ QUOTE ]

James, thanks also. Unless I suck at math it appears you've scaled your poker time way back? Must be nice.


[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, waay back without a doubt. When you can work the same job for more pay and less hours, it becomes hard to work the same jobe for even more pay but the same hours. I imagine that if I didn't live with my girlfriend I'd play a lot more - not because she pressures me not to, but because there are a lot more fun things I can do in my down time when she is around than play. I should also mention that I only worked those graveyard hours for a brief period of time before I realized it wasn't for me.

James

[Brocktoon]

[ QUOTE ]
I think for people smart enough to ask these questions about happiness it isn't if it is when they will find it.


[/ QUOTE ]

This implies that you think there is a strong correlation between intelligence and happiness. I for one have not seen any evidence of this so far in my experience.

Maybe you are actually referring more to self examination and introspection than intelligence but again, in my experience there is even less of a correlation between self examination and happiness than there is with intelligence.

Surely the stereotypical "happy guy" isn't a self analytical brainiac.

Come to think of it I'm not sure what trait I would say is most closely related to happiness. I have a lot of possible candidates but the more I think about each one the less of a real connection there seems to be. Its just so easy to think of a person I know personally or know of who embodies any one such trait and still seems miserable.

[nolanfan34]

Interesting thread.

I'm 30, and have never really had any poker success. Pretty much missed the boat on online poker, and with a regular job I've only played a bit online - just a drop in the bucket compared to most of the people on here. So I'd consider myself in the 5% minority that Yeti refers to.

Yet I've always considered myself happy, moreso than many people on this board. I've been married for 5 years, and am coming up on 9 years since I started dating my wife. I do think the level of friendship you get out of having a good significant other in your life, like borodog and others have mentioned, is a big part of that.

As 4_2_it mentioned I believe, it is foolish to expect to find someone who's "perfect" per se. I think the mindset of expecting to find that only makes it tougher to be truly happy. The fact is, finding someone to put up with you through all of the ups and downs is the real challenge, and when you find someone like that there's something comforting about knowing you're a team.

Sounds cheesy I guess.

I will say this though, when I read about the dumb stuff people do with money on here, some of the "baller" posts, etc, I think to myself that there are a lot of people on here who are really going to regret some of those actions someday.

[Zeno]

[ QUOTE ]
My wife is my best friend.

[/ QUOTE ]


This simple sentence says about 2 million things at once and each is so important. Take it from a geezer, Borodog hit the nail on the head.

-Zeno

[guids]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
My wife is my best friend.

[/ QUOTE ]


This simple sentence says about 2 million things at once and each is so important. Take it from a geezer, Borodog hit the nail on the head.

-Zeno

[/ QUOTE ]



A question for the guys whos wife is thier best friend:

were you best friends before you got mariied or had sex or both?