What is Parenthood Like? (only for older OOTers)

[4_2_it]

Being a parent is awesome. Children offer you their unconditional love 24/7. Need a hug, just go ask your 4 year old. No matter what troubles you, you will feel better. Of course, parenting is a lot of work, but IMO the rewards far outweigh the work.

I have far too many stories about the joy that my kids have brought me to share here, but I will say that most of the happiest moments in my life involve my kids.

[KJS]

I am 37. Been married for 4.5 years. Got a vasectomy when single and 31. My wife and I will never have our own kids and never adopt. We don't want any.

I have just never found it an attractive choice. I watched friends and family members who had kids go from being very adventurous, outgoing and interesting to tied down, tired, overburdened and obsessed with all things kid. And I noticed that the better parents in the bunch were more burdened that the worse ones, since they made sure their kids were engaged in activities, on a schedule, etc.. I also realized all the things I would have to give up if I wanted to be a good parent. Travelling (we've lived on 3 continents in 4 years of marriage), socializing with other adults regularly, having financial freedom, and living in vibrant cities that might not have good schools and the safety parents demand.

For me, I enjoy the company of adults more than anything else. I enjoy the intellectual stimulation I get from good discussions with smart adults. I enjoy wit. I enjoy the pleasure I get from fine things that only adults appreciate: food, booze, art/music, etc.. I want to spend my time doing adult things with other adults.

I can appreciate the wonderful emotions parents feel seeing their kids grow up and go through life. Not trying to downgrade that experience at all. But for me, I am willing to forgo that to have different experiences with the adults in my life (wife, friends) while also getting some interaction with children through my friends and relatives you have them.

Just a different perspective from a thirtysomething.

KJS