social anxiety

[JasonK]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i just realized recently that as i get older, my social anxiety is getting worse and worse. i've always had it, but have been able to deawl with it well in the past, and be as normal as possible, but as i get older, i want to go out less and less.

this includes, and strangely enough, is sometimes worse with friends. like i'll have no problem being alone and out and about, or going to a bar, but meeting a group of friends is less and less appealling to me.

does anyone else have this kind of experience? anyone else dealign with this?

how screwed am i?

p.s. i'm poor and therapy is probably not an option.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah... big time. i just want to be alone a lot. i go through mood swings, sickkkk mood swings. i'm pretty sure something is wrong with me big time. sometimes i'm absolutely on top of the world for a few days and then it goes the exact opposite for a few.

[/ QUOTE ]

i don't go through highs. in fact i can't remember the last time i was really happy. there are days, where i don't feel depressed, but i'm not exactly happy. i've learned how to fake it after years and years. one thing i've discovered, even your closest friends don't want to deal with a miserable bastard all the time.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, also me exactly.

[/ QUOTE ]

Me three.

Dysthymia or dysthymic disorder is a form of the mood disorder of depression characterized by a lack of enjoyment/pleasure in life that continues for at least two years. It differs from major depression in the severity of the symptoms. Dysthymia can, though it does not always, prevent a person from functioning or affect sleep patterns and daily activities.

Dysthymia may seem a paradoxical disorder in that sufferers exhibit fairly mild symptoms on a day-to-day basis; however, over a lifetime it can have severe effects, such as high rates of suicide, work impairment, and social isolation. The symptoms of patients with dysthymic disorder are not as severe as those associated with major depression, but the duration of these symptoms is much longer. When a major depressive episode occurs on top of dysthymia, clinicians may refer to the resultant condition as double depression.

[TwoOuter]

oddjob,

I'm not trying to play therapist or anything, but can you pinpoint EXACTLY why you feel uncomfortable in particular situations?

For example, when you start sweating, can you describe what's going through your head?

Nervousness and anxiety seem to be symptoms, brought on by other factors, like feeling judged, an inferiority complex, etc.

Not sure if this is helpful or not. But I believe that you can't fix a problem until you know exactly what the problem is.

[oddjob]

[ QUOTE ]
oddjob,

I'm not trying to play therapist or anything, but can you pinpoint EXACTLY why you feel uncomfortable in particular situations?

For example, when you start sweating, can you describe what's going through your head?

Nervousness and anxiety seem to be symptoms, brought on by other factors, like feeling judged, an inferiority complex, etc.

Not sure if this is helpful or not. But I believe that you can't fix a problem until you know exactly what the problem is.

[/ QUOTE ]

well i can't really describe what makes me anxious. i just start feeling uneasy around people at times, and start sweating. then i start freaking out that i'm sweating.

i definitly have self esteem problems. the few times i'm told someone is interested in me, i'm in complete disbelief of it.

damn i'm so [censored] messed up, and know it, i can't ever see someone putting up with me. although i have a lot of friends, i often wonder why, but i still appreciate it and feel blessed.

i'm sure my parents did a number on me. i was in a bad car wreck in high school that left me scarred for years (externally and internally) so i was never able to get that akward [censored] with dating out of the way, when i was supposed to.

i have dated, just never in anything serious, and i never felt comfortable.

[Genesis]

[ QUOTE ]
this includes, and strangely enough, is sometimes worse with friends. like i'll have no problem being alone and out and about, or going to a bar, but meeting a group of friends is less and less appealling to me.


[/ QUOTE ] Part of the problem might be that you need new friends. You say your friends are married and have families, maybe you don't have the same general interests as them any longer and view the time as boring (unless it is in small groups where there can be much more focused conversations). In the past couple years I hit that point with my friends as I was the first one married and the first with kids. They kept partying and stuff, and I just didn't want to do it any more.

Edit: You also really seem to put a lot of pressure on yourself based on your last post.

[Wynton]

I just skimmed this thread:

To the OP, you can get help and it is not necessarily expensive either. I have a relative who is a psychiatrist and for years has run a phobia clinic, addressing social anxieties as well. If you're interested in more details, send me a PM.

Among other things, he has written books on the topic that can help you at a minimal expense.

If you look, you can get help for this situation, and there really is no reason not to do so.

[terrapin314]

I suffered from Social Anxiety for many years - since I was a teenager until now (33). I experienced what the OP experienced - a worsening of symptoms the older that I became. On my days off of work, I would usually not answer the phone or the door and was basically a shut-in. I finally had an epiphany that the disorder was really affecting my life in a negative way. I had became a person that I did not like. It was after I took a new job where I was working with new people weekly and giving presentations, that I fully acknowledged the problem and how it was keeping me back.

After seeing my MD, I started taking Lexapro. This was several months ago. It has had a great effect on my life and allowed me to live without being weighed down by so much anxiety, most of it social.

Go see your doctor and get evaluated. It might be the best decision you make.

[Genesis]

Can someone who actually takes medication for this describe the effects you feel on your body and mind specifically?

[chesspain]

[ QUOTE ]
i would go see someone if i could afford to, but i can't right now.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would bet that there is a community mental health center somewhere in your county...and you would be charged on a sliding scale.

[TwoOuter]

oddjob,

FWIW: My own experience with therapy was very positive. I learned a lot, especially about being completely honest with myself and others. It helped free me from all the garbage I used to hide behind.

It was quite different than I expected, more geared toward understanding the root causes of the problems (anger, hostility, anti-social behavior) I was experiencing at the time and less delving into the past ("Tell me about your father," etc.)

A wise therapist may be able to help you sort things out. I'm not saying it's the solution for everything and everybody, but it might be worth a shot. Hang in there.

[Spellmen]

All of this kind of makes me want to see someone. I'm probably in the same situation as a lot of posters here. My anxiety has never really been crippling, I've almost always had a decent amount of friends. It seems I go through stretches of it. It started in high school, I would always get really anxious about formal type of situations, like dances and dinners and all that. That in itself is probably pretty natural, but it ended up hanging with me.

One of the biggest things seems to be when there is some kind of expectation on me. For no reason at all, I used to get freaked out to play a drinking game, go out to a restaurant, or stuff like that. It's not even that I dislike that type of stuff, because I don't. I'm in a good period of it now, but like alot of people here I should probably get some kind of treatment as it has been terrible for relationships.