Asking out a girl

[NL Newbie]

Tonnes of lame replys here.

Age - Only matters if either partner lets it.

Weight - Eating tonnes will make you fat. Having a bulking plan(High protein) with weights training 3x a week a week with good cardio will slowly build a physique. Some would say leave out cardio if your more of a ectomorph. Id leave 1-2sessions a week in to keep your self fit/endurance levels up.


Turn your delivery reports on, dont msg her loads and come across needy. If she doesnt reply drop her a text in 2 days asking something unrelated, if she replys then maybe ask what shes up to/wants to hook up.

Language barrier may be a bitch, other than that no biggy.

if she says shes not interested just move on, having female friends is always a good thing.

[_TKO_]

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we ate lunch together after school like 7-11 times as friends. I pay for her lunch, she talks about what's happening in her life, etcetera.

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Not a good indicator. If you've done lunch this many times with no other hanging out, you've most likely missed the best window to hooking up. If you've paid everytime for her lunch, it's hard to say whether she's eating with you b/c she enjoys your company or just b/c it's a free lunch.

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Last time I saw her I said "I really like you, are you dating anyone?"
Then she said something like "Well, I was dating this French guy, but we kinda broke up 2 weeks ago. I'm not sure if we're still dating, he's really annoying. I'll decide soon."

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Usually not good to ask whether she has a bf. Just assume she doesn't and go for it. She'll stop you if it matters to her. Also, her response is a bad sign, depending on the wording. I mean, she's still considering going back to him, and this is where she'll really judge where you stand with her. It depends how you handle this information.

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I just asked why he was annoying

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This probably hurt you for dating chances. Your willingness to talk about her problems tends to shift you into the friends-only category. I think a better response would have been something along the lines of "Forget him. Date me.".

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So, when should I send a follow up text asking whether or not she got the first one?

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Never. Of course, you could still talk to her, but it's gotta be on your terms. I think your best move from here is to wait a couple days (the fact that you're cringing over a 6-hour delay means you're worrying way too much). After that, stop using poker as an excuse. Tell her you're trying to quit and picking up a new hobby like bowling. Go bowling with her and have fun. Make her want to choose you over the french lick.

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She just turned 28, I'm 19, if that matters at all

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It doesn't.

[onlinebeginner]

of course age matters... i'm not trying to be an ass, and i'm not saying you aren't mature for your age, because I bet you are..... still very few girls in their twenties want to date younger guys, let alone a 19 year old.... the 5'10 thing is true, in japan that probably is really big.... but still i'm sure she jus thinks of u as her little friend

why i asked about height and weight etc. was because if you were a really big guy its less likely that she would think of you that way

anyway who says age doesn't matter at all is retarted....ever notice that girls tend to date older guys... there is a reason, it does matter at least a little

[SuperUberBob]

Dude, Japanese girls go crazy over American guys.

I was there and it was nuts. I'm ugly and I had a gaggle of Japanese girls going after my dick.

[MyTurn2Raise]

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wow theres a lot of idiots in this thread!

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posting because I belong here [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[Kilillan]

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[ QUOTE ]
we ate lunch together after school like 7-11 times as friends. I pay for her lunch, she talks about what's happening in her life, etcetera.

[/ QUOTE ]

Not a good indicator. If you've done lunch this many times with no other hanging out, you've most likely missed the best window to hooking up. If you've paid everytime for her lunch, it's hard to say whether she's eating with you b/c she enjoys your company or just b/c it's a free lunch.

[ QUOTE ]
Last time I saw her I said "I really like you, are you dating anyone?"
Then she said something like "Well, I was dating this French guy, but we kinda broke up 2 weeks ago. I'm not sure if we're still dating, he's really annoying. I'll decide soon."

[/ QUOTE ]

Usually not good to ask whether she has a bf. Just assume she doesn't and go for it. She'll stop you if it matters to her. Also, her response is a bad sign, depending on the wording. I mean, she's still considering going back to him, and this is where she'll really judge where you stand with her. It depends how you handle this information.

[ QUOTE ]
I just asked why he was annoying

[/ QUOTE ]

This probably hurt you for dating chances. Your willingness to talk about her problems tends to shift you into the friends-only category. I think a better response would have been something along the lines of "Forget him. Date me.".

[ QUOTE ]
So, when should I send a follow up text asking whether or not she got the first one?

[/ QUOTE ]

Never. Of course, you could still talk to her, but it's gotta be on your terms. I think your best move from here is to wait a couple days (the fact that you're cringing over a 6-hour delay means you're worrying way too much). After that, stop using poker as an excuse. Tell her you're trying to quit and picking up a new hobby like bowling. Go bowling with her and have fun. Make her want to choose you over the french lick.

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She just turned 28, I'm 19, if that matters at all

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It doesn't.

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Hmm, thanks for the response.

Let me clarify one thing, I did not pay for all her lunches, not even close. It was more like if she was getting a drink and I was too then I'd pick up the bill. If she's getting a meal and I'm getting a hot chocolate, she's paying her own damn bill.

I do need to be more aggressive. It's like poker, check/calling gets you nowhere. I'm just going to pot every street until the fish pay me off.

I do think you're right and I'll take your advice. I need to stop talking about her problems quite so much. It does tend to shift me torwards friends category. I need to start being more aggressive, pay for less of her lunches unless we're dating.

Do something other than poker to see her, like seeing a movie or a shrine or something.


mm, good advice.


And to the other guy who said Japanese dig americans, that's very true. IF you look white. I said I'm half chinese, more accurately, I'm 40% chinese, 20% Japanese, 30% German and 10% irish/mixed.

Japanese tend to have a very romantisized notion of white people. They're so alien and cool, all the hollywood people have white people yet they don't really exist in their everyday lives.
Problem is, I look Japanese or mixed Japanese. So it kinda [censored] me there

[youcanhaveitall]

Killian you sound like an awesome guy, but you really butchered this one up (not necessarily your own fault).
As a lot of other posters already pointed out paying for her lunch was the first mistakes.

You have probably made an impression of being a bit of a wuss seeking for approval.
If you really want this chick your best shot right now is to completely forget about her and just move on.
There should be plenty of european or american chicks in japan.

Good luck in the future.

[youcanhaveitall]

oh and btw since I am really new to the forums I dont know if I am allowed to post reccomendations or anything, so I will delete if it violates any rules.

Try and make a google search for David Deangelo and read some of his material. It was my big "aha moment" on when you should approach women, and life in general.

[Misfire]

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dude ur an average height skinny 19 year old....nothing significant could realisticly happen between the two of you.

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Yeah, average people never hook up.

[maniacut]

my advice: only teach her poker if she puts out because the sexual tension between the two of you is making you go crazy. you'll know where to go after you make that clear to her.