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#3
11-17-2007, 10:40 PM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
The wife and I have a 5 month old, we're 29. I never really wanted kids, she wanted them from day 1, I finally came around to the idea and we had one.
I was never a baby person. I was more of a toddler person. Once the kid started walking/talking/playing catch, etc. I thought they were cool. However, having a baby is the most exciting and stimulating thing ever. They're sponges, and given the right guidance they'll grow up to be exceptional people. Having that responsibility is so scary/rewarding nothing compares. There's nothing like hearing your child laugh for the first time, and there's nothing worse than going three straight months without more than 3 straight hours of sleep. Anyway, it's way different when it's your own child. I never thought I'd talk funny to him, or whatever, but when you do and they smile, it's absolutely incredible. 
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#5
11-18-2007, 02:17 AM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
I have twin boys coming in February and I am terrified. I am not really into kids per se. Just hoping that 'bonding' kicks in hard.
The one thing I have seen is that there does seem to be something 'missing' in people who never have had kids. Not sure if societal pressure just catches up, but I haven't seen many childless couples who have had a blast in life because they could whatever they want. I am also looking at getting away from 'I' am everything and being able to view the world through someone else's eyes.
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#6
11-24-2007, 02:26 AM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
The one thing I have seen is that there does seem to be something 'missing' in people who never have had kids. Not sure if societal pressure just catches up, but I haven't seen many childless couples who have had a blast in life because they could whatever they want. [/ QUOTE ] Eh I think this is a stereotype - that childless couples must live some sort of globetrotting jetset lifestyle, since they can "do whatever they want". For the record I'm 39, no kids. My wife and I do not go out "having a blast" every night at nightclubs, fancy restaurants, etc. We like quiet. We enjoy watching tv together. We enjoy reading. We make each other laugh. We are basically a normal married couple - just without kids. Parents probably can't comprehend how we can be happy, living with just each other in a childless house. But we are. But... sorry Henry but you're coming off kinda silly in this thread. Do you honestly expect a parent to sit and itemize the benefits of having kids, like they are a new car purchase or a mutual fund? Why the hell do I love my parents? After all he's just a civil servant and she's just a homemaker. Nothing particularly noteworthy about them, other than that they're my parents. And yet, I love them. Go figure. Do I need to list the reasons why I love them to your satisfaction? Parents tend to feel a deep love for their children, not sure why you can't just accept that at face value.
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#7
11-18-2007, 05:57 AM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
Need more parents to post in this so they convince all you idiots that kids are likely the most rewarding part of your life. [/ QUOTE ] If they are going to do that then they need to actually name specifics of how having children has improved their lives. Most of the time it is just abstract and meaningless statements like having children is "amazing" or having children was the best thing I ever did. They never explain how or why children improved their life only that they did. The negatives of having children are pretty easy to list so why are the benefits such abstract concepts?
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#8
11-18-2007, 06:09 AM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] Need more parents to post in this so they convince all you idiots that kids are likely the most rewarding part of your life. [/ QUOTE ] If they are going to do that then they need to actually name specifics of how having children has improved their lives. Most of the time it is just abstract and meaningless statements like having children is "amazing" or having children was the best thing I ever did. They never explain how or why children improved their life only that they did. The negatives of having children are pretty easy to list so why are the benefits such abstract concepts? [/ QUOTE ] You can list reasons from several different angles of why I should not eat bacon, and I may even agree with some of them in principle. But I still do it, because it causes me pleasure.
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#9
11-18-2007, 06:21 AM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
But the reason bacon causes you pleasure is easy to figure out. It tastes good.
Around x-mas I always seem to catch this horrible Nicholas Cage movie where some x-mas angel gives him a look at what his life could have been. I get the point of the movie but I still think the Cage character is wrong. His current life is a million times better than his missed life.
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#10
11-18-2007, 09:03 AM
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Re: Do you want to have children?
[ QUOTE ]
If they are going to do that then they need to actually name specifics of how having children has improved their lives. Most of the time it is just abstract and meaningless statements like having children is "amazing" or having children was the best thing I ever did. They never explain how or why children improved their life only that they did. The negatives of having children are pretty easy to list so why are the benefits such abstract concepts? [/ QUOTE ] Just don't have children, and don't worry about it. You're mature enough to realize you don't want them and that is great. I would never wish children on someone who wasn't committed to them. However, asking for tangible benefits of having children shows a fundamental lack of understanding when it comes to having kids. What do you want people to say? That we get small tax breaks? I'm sure you are not looking for the times your 1 year old brings you a book and plops down on your lap waiting for you to read. Or when you go to daycare and your child races across the room with a big smile on his face to give you a giant hug. The main benefit from having kids is in the abstract: feelings of overpowering love, fulfillment, and joy. Again I'm not here to harp on people who don't want to have kids. I applaud it, actually. I have many friends who don't want to have kids, or who never have, and are quite happy. There is no right or wrong answer here.
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