Your favorite post of all time

[longhair]

my girlfriend is crying, help bbv is up there:

[ QUOTE ]
okay this is what is happening

my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help

Here's some background:

see, i volunteer on my sisters softball team (im 21, the girls are 16)

and whatever yea i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have alot in common, sometimes i help her with homework. I helped her on her english essay and she still got a D. This is because the teacher is a prick ... anyways


So she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex

"no, no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, PLUSS ill give you 2 gamecube games if you say yes"

So I give her super monkey ball and zelda wind waker, and then she goes to my room. She's a bit confused and scared.

Then i think to myself - yo I need lube right? Cuz I heard you need to lube up otherwise it wont fit in properly.

Ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity - so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold, it wont melt - so I microwaved it for 8 minutes, and then i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, now shes saying i burned it.

I dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smart and please help me

Any idea how to shut her up? Should I give her another gamecube game?

[/ QUOTE ]

[diebitter]

Commodus rating a girlfriend.

GOLD

[mugatu668]

bump

[Bob Moss]

It makes me a little sad to post this, since surely it will ruin this already-perfect thread, but this is the greatest politics thread ever.

(For those who are late, there was originally only one reply in the thread).

[blutarski]

Nutz in Ya Mouth's first short story

[Kimbell175113]

Injection's "flip for starships" pic in the Farha thread.

[Big_Jim]

The TRUTH behind the NL continuation bet
A classic post by John Kane, but lapoker17's reply always makes me bust up laughing.

[Suiteness]

What it do Kid's first post.

I'LL FLIP FO YO LIFE!

[sledghammer]

The one vegas trip report where the guy gets to vegas and jerks off in his car, and loses a bunch of money. I really wish I could find it.

And this post: AA on two tables at once
Snagglepuss's response is brilliant, among others.

[punkass]

origin of "lathe in the bedroom"

once we see the pic of the lathe, all hell breaks loose.