Anyone here an older brother to a sister? (long, serious) - Page 4

YourFoxyGrandma · #31 02-12-2006, 01:33 AM

I think to a certain extent you're gonna have to ignore your "I need to protect my sister" insticts on this one. I like the "be careful" advice. You can't live her life for her, nor make her do anything. In trying, you risk alienating her completely. Simple advice--something that demonstrates your concern for her--has a much greater chance of resonating and, in the end, is better for your relationship.

.Alex. · #32 02-12-2006, 01:57 AM

P Dirty,

I have a younger sister with a similar age gap: 19-12. I applaud your efforts to talk to her and create a bond. I have been trying to do the same recently.

My situation is almost the same as yours - right down to the hugs. My attempts at conversation have seemed strange and awkward.

Let us know how it works out.

kipin · #33 02-12-2006, 02:03 AM

Ban P.Dirty

gol4pro · #34 02-12-2006, 02:04 AM

Let her be a kid. She obviously doesn't love the guy, but how else is she supposed to brag about her puppy love jr. high boyfriend?

You've blown this so far out of proportion I can't possibly explain it to you. Let her be.

tolbiny · #35 02-12-2006, 02:04 AM

I agree with the first 4 posts (not going to read more) you don't need to do anything. Telling her this stuff won't make any difference, she will experience life on her own.
Also, hug your sister, it takes almost no effort and will make her happy, and who knows, you might even find out having someone hug you is nice for you aswell.

Tsai Shen · #36 02-12-2006, 02:11 AM

You don't talk to or hug your sister?

What the hell is wrong with you?

Instead of racking up 5000 2+2 posts, maybe you should e-mail your little sister, that's a little more important than rich 20 year old poker nerds.

NFKB1 · #37 02-12-2006, 02:12 AM

Your job as caring older brother shouldn’t be to save her from potential mistakes, but to be there for her when she makes them. She will learn a lot more that way.... Yes, men can be horny animals, but few girls figure this out from someone telling them how it is.

Clearly if you think she is in serious danger, you step in, but otherwise a little heart-ache it what being a teenager is about.

Fabian · #38 02-12-2006, 06:46 AM

"When ever I am home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or a weekend over the summer, she always tries to give me a big hug, mostly to annoy me though I think, because she knows that I hate it when she does this."

This is the weirdest part. Refusal to hug your 8 year yonger siter? What the hell?

SammyKid11 · #39 02-12-2006, 06:57 AM

Yeah man...you've got no cause to step in right now and bring in the 'rents. I've got a sister 7 years younger than me. She's at college right now and partying her ass off. She's just now started to get into some seriously bad stuff, and I have just recently stepped in and taken some issues up with her...and she's authorized me to talk to our parents to get her help. But we're talking drug problems, alcohol problems, eating disorder, thoughts of suicide...those type of things. That's when you step in and become a protector...not when she, according to your way of thinking, uses the word "love" too loosely.

Also, I 42nd the thought that if you want to be involved in her life, you must make a concerted effort to speak with her way more often, even if you're not personally interested in the things she has to say. And f'ing hug her, dude. Don't give her a f'ed up perspective of male affection.

Leaky Eye · #40 02-12-2006, 07:08 AM

You are never going to have a good relationship with her, or anyone for that matter, if you try to make their decisions for them. Give advice, then just hope they follow it. Guilt trips, telling parents, beating a dead horse, none of these things are helping.

Also, I don't understand making any deal over her saying she loves someone. All kids say that before they know what it means. Adults too. You may have some intimacy issues you want to work out.