jokes you've made IRL that flopped - Page 37

KUJustin · #**361** 11-08-2007, 02:39 AM

My attempt to keep this thread alive is to point out how 17 times someone has talked about an example of the thread happening within the thread even when it clearly says: jokes you've made IRL that flopped.

Subfallen · #**362** 11-08-2007, 09:34 AM

90% of posters this thread seem to think that any offensive or counter-normative comment is a "joke." I don't agree.

IlliniLou · #**363** 11-08-2007, 12:14 PM

Alright I thought this was hilarious. Yesterday me and a buddy are at Chipotle in line waiting to order. Theres a a couple people in line before us, and right in front of us is a mid 30's woman with her 2 kids at about the age of 5 or 6. The boy is playing with some toy, I have no idea what the hell it is, but he's complaining it isn't working. The mom then tells the kid, in a little bit of a louder voice, "you have to put it in the hole for it to work". My buddy then says in his best Sean Connery voice "Thats what your mother said last night Trebek!" I immediately started laughing, but no one else in line thought it was funny, and definately not the mom in front of us.

Golden_Rhino · #**364** 11-08-2007, 10:38 PM

Was at a coffee place with a group of people and I ordered a large coffee. When it arrived this thing was huge (like the size of a large drink at McD's). I sarcastically say "Sorry, I ordered the large coffee (I emphasized the word large)". Waitress apologizes, buddy's gf says "I think that is a large", and my gf apologizes to the waitress for my stupidity.

ClassicBob · #**365** 11-08-2007, 10:42 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Was at a coffee place with a group of people and I ordered a large coffee. When it arrived this thing was huge (like the size of a large drink at McD's). I sarcastically say "Sorry, I ordered the large coffee (I emphasized the word large)". Waitress apologizes, buddy's gf says "I think that is a large", and my gf apologizes to the waitress for my stupidity.

[/ QUOTE ]

Had you watched "So I Married An Axe Murderer" recently?

Golden_Rhino · #**366** 11-08-2007, 10:56 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Was at a coffee place with a group of people and I ordered a large coffee. When it arrived this thing was huge (like the size of a large drink at McD's). I sarcastically say "Sorry, I ordered the large coffee (I emphasized the word large)". Waitress apologizes, buddy's gf says "I think that is a large", and my gf apologizes to the waitress for my stupidity.

[/ QUOTE ]

Had you watched "So I Married An Axe Murderer" recently?

[/ QUOTE ]

As a matter of fact I had. I even put tried to say it like he did in the movie. Obviously it wasn't funny.

private joker · #**367** 11-09-2007, 12:18 AM

I had a joke on my resume for a long time, when I was first looking for movie industry jobs.

Basically it was initially my education and achievements, and the few starter jobs I had had.

To fill it out a bit, towards the end between my gigs writing movie reviews for a college paper and working at Blockbuster, I put

President of Ecuador (1984-1987)
* Governed small South American nation with dictatorial power and iron-fisted rule
* Reason for leaving: Forced out of office by renegade mercenaries

And then continued normalcy. Pretty much a checkup to see if you read the whole resume, and to show I could be "clever."

This resume got me a lot of jobs, such as PA on some videos, a script reader at Showtime and Miramax, and other random stuff. But there was one lady, I'll never forget, at a production company who called me on the phone.

Lady: Is this Mr. [Private Joker]?
Me: Yes.
Lady: I'm looking over your resume...
Me: OK
Lady: I see here at the bottom it says you were President of Ecuador?
Me: Hahaha, yeah, well it's difficult to talk about that period of my life, you know the mercenaries and everything.
Lady: I don't understand. Why would you say you were the President of Ecuador? It's clearly not true.
Me: Uh... oh I know, I mean I didn't think anyone would believe it. The point was to be funny.
Lady: You're saying it's a joke?
Me: Yeah.
Lady: You put a joke on your resume?
Me: Yes, is that frowned upon?

I did not get the job.

westhoff · #**368** 11-09-2007, 07:09 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Alright I thought this was hilarious. Yesterday me and a buddy are at Chipotle in line waiting to order. Theres a a couple people in line before us, and right in front of us is a mid 30's woman with her 2 kids at about the age of 5 or 6. The boy is playing with some toy, I have no idea what the hell it is, but he's complaining it isn't working. The mom then tells the kid, in a little bit of a louder voice, "you have to put it in the hole for it to work". My buddy then says in his best Sean Connery voice "Thats what your mother said last night Trebek!" I immediately started laughing, but no one else in line thought it was funny, and definately not the mom in front of us.

[/ QUOTE ]

[censored] awesome!!!

Styhn · #**369** 11-09-2007, 07:27 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I had a joke on my resume for a long time, when I was first looking for movie industry jobs.

Basically it was initially my education and achievements, and the few starter jobs I had had.

To fill it out a bit, towards the end between my gigs writing movie reviews for a college paper and working at Blockbuster, I put

President of Ecuador (1984-1987)
* Governed small South American nation with dictatorial power and iron-fisted rule
* Reason for leaving: Forced out of office by renegade mercenaries

And then continued normalcy. Pretty much a checkup to see if you read the whole resume, and to show I could be "clever."

This resume got me a lot of jobs, such as PA on some videos, a script reader at Showtime and Miramax, and other random stuff. But there was one lady, I'll never forget, at a production company who called me on the phone.

Lady: Is this Mr. [Private Joker]?
Me: Yes.
Lady: I'm looking over your resume...
Me: OK
Lady: I see here at the bottom it says you were President of Ecuador?
Me: Hahaha, yeah, well it's difficult to talk about that period of my life, you know the mercenaries and everything.
Lady: I don't understand. Why would you say you were the President of Ecuador? It's clearly not true.
Me: Uh... oh I know, I mean I didn't think anyone would believe it. The point was to be funny.
Lady: You're saying it's a joke?
Me: Yeah.
Lady: You put a joke on your resume?
Me: Yes, is that frowned upon?

I did not get the job.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hahahaha awesome! I can't believe that flopped.

mosdef · #**370** 11-09-2007, 07:39 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I had a joke on my resume for a long time, when I was first looking for movie industry jobs.

Basically it was initially my education and achievements, and the few starter jobs I had had.

To fill it out a bit, towards the end between my gigs writing movie reviews for a college paper and working at Blockbuster, I put

President of Ecuador (1984-1987)
* Governed small South American nation with dictatorial power and iron-fisted rule
* Reason for leaving: Forced out of office by renegade mercenaries

And then continued normalcy. Pretty much a checkup to see if you read the whole resume, and to show I could be "clever."

This resume got me a lot of jobs, such as PA on some videos, a script reader at Showtime and Miramax, and other random stuff. But there was one lady, I'll never forget, at a production company who called me on the phone.

Lady: Is this Mr. [Private Joker]?
Me: Yes.
Lady: I'm looking over your resume...
Me: OK
Lady: I see here at the bottom it says you were President of Ecuador?
Me: Hahaha, yeah, well it's difficult to talk about that period of my life, you know the mercenaries and everything.
Lady: I don't understand. Why would you say you were the President of Ecuador? It's clearly not true.
Me: Uh... oh I know, I mean I didn't think anyone would believe it. The point was to be funny.
Lady: You're saying it's a joke?
Me: Yeah.
Lady: You put a joke on your resume?
Me: Yes, is that frowned upon?

I did not get the job.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hahahaha awesome! I can't believe that flopped.

[/ QUOTE ]

I can't believe he ever got a job with that on his resume.