Restaurant refuses to sing happy bday to 6 yr old

[revots33]

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People accusing the kid of being spoiled, how is this possible without knowing him?

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It's really not about the kid. It almost never is. As usual it's the parents.

Quick related story:

In college I worked in a privately owned bookstore that had a "no food or drink in store" policy. One day a girl comes in with an ice cream cone and I tell the girl's father that she has to finish the ice cream outside as per the owner's policy. The father says, "Come on, she's enjoying her ice cream cone", and continues browsing the store and ignoring my request. So I tell him again about the policy and he starts screaming at me saying, "Look, now you're making my daughter cry, you a**hole." Funny thing is, the girl only started getting upset when her dad started yelling. Had he just taken her outside the girl would have been perfectly happy to finish her ice cream and come into the bookstore afterwards.

So my point is that the parents getting all agitated over the Happy Birthday Incident probably upset the kid far more than not having some random waiters sing to him.

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If the hostess simply said "sorry, we can't do that" we would have piled back into the car, end of story.

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Not buying this AT ALL. You'd really keep driving around looking for a Happy Birthday Restaurant rather than just eat there and sing to the kid yourselves? Come on now. This is the type of thing people say after the fact, to rationalize why they are pissed over something so trivial. "We'd have gone to another restaurant had we known!" Yeah right.

[Hopey]

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Not buying this AT ALL. You'd really keep driving around looking for a Happy Birthday Restaurant rather than just eat there and sing to the kid yourselves? Come on now. This is the type of thing people say after the fact, to rationalize why they are pissed over something so trivial. "We'd have gone to another restaurant had we known!" Yeah right.

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The kid had told his parents that his favorite part of his birthday is when everyone comes out and sings happy birthday to him. His parents wanted to make this happen for him on his birthday. Given these facts, a family driving a few blocks to a more "family-friendly" restaurant is definitely not out of the realm of possibilities.

[Signal777]

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People accusing the kid of being spoiled, how is this possible without knowing him?

[/ QUOTE ]

It's really not about the kid. It almost never is. As usual it's the parents.

Quick related story:

In college I worked in a privately owned bookstore that had a "no food or drink in store" policy. One day a girl comes in with an ice cream cone and I tell the girl's father that she has to finish the ice cream outside as per the owner's policy. The father says, "Come on, she's enjoying her ice cream cone", and continues browsing the store and ignoring my request. So I tell him again about the policy and he starts screaming at me saying, "Look, now you're making my daughter cry, you a**hole." Funny thing is, the girl only started getting upset when her dad started yelling. Had he just taken her outside the girl would have been perfectly happy to finish her ice cream and come into the bookstore afterwards.

So my point is that the parents getting all agitated over the Happy Birthday Incident probably upset the kid far more than not having some random waiters sing to him.

[ QUOTE ]
If the hostess simply said "sorry, we can't do that" we would have piled back into the car, end of story.

[/ QUOTE ]

Not buying this AT ALL. You'd really keep driving around looking for a Happy Birthday Restaurant rather than just eat there and sing to the kid yourselves? Come on now. This is the type of thing people say after the fact, to rationalize why they are pissed over something so trivial. "We'd have gone to another restaurant had we known!" Yeah right.

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Wow, its funny you think you know us so well we wouldn't have made the extra effort for the kids bday. Its not like the next Mexican restaurant was an hour away, there are 3 (Chili's, Cancun Charlies, and On the Border) literally all within 10 minutes. I don't get why people think getting back in a car and driving a few extra minutes is so unbelievable. I find it unbelievable that people wouldn't make this slight extra effort for their own children.

[Duke]

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If the hostess simply said "sorry, we can't do that" we would have piled back into the car, end of story.

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And here we have the crux of the problem, the reason for this whole stupid thread: the fact that there really are people out there that will decide whether to eat at a restaurant not because of their delicious tacos, or their awesome service, but whether or not they will sing happy [censored] birthday to their little brat kid. Ugh.

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[revots33]

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I find it unbelievable that people wouldn't make this slight extra effort for their own children.

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See, now this is why people are saying the kid sounds spoiled. He got to pick the type of restaurant, he's being taken out for dinner with his friends and parents, good desert, probably getting presents, etc. All in all a pretty nice birthday if you ask me.

Now you are saying it's unbelievable to think it makes less sense to force 4 kids and 3 adults to get back in the car and keep driving than it does to just sing to the kid yourselves. That's 4 kids and 3 adults all singing to him - and yet evidently that's not enough. Back in the car, kids!

[Hoya]

It takes a few extra minutes once a year to make the kid happy - why not? Did none of your parents love you?

[Signal777]

Thanks to the rational people here, these are the points I am trying to make. It is not irrational to love your child enough to make an extra effort for him 1 day out of the year. I never considered myself spoiled (although I am sure most people do not) and my parents did the extra stuff for me when it was my bday. Why would people have children if they aren't even willing to make a bday special for them? I mean, if its impossible, like the kid wants a gift that is out of the budget, its impossible. But for something pretty innocent and small, why wouldn't someone do that for their own child?

If you asked your son what he wanted as a gift, and he said a certain toy, and you went to one toy store and they didn't have it, would you give up? Would you actually go to another store to try to find it? I don't have kids, I don't want kids, but if I had them, I would make the extra effort. Once they are here, why not act like you love them?

[suzzer99]

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In college I worked in a privately owned bookstore that had a "no food or drink in store" policy. One day a girl comes in with an ice cream cone and I tell the girl's father that she has to finish the ice cream outside as per the owner's policy. The father says, "Come on, she's enjoying her ice cream cone", and continues browsing the store and ignoring my request. So I tell him again about the policy and he starts screaming at me saying, "Look, now you're making my daughter cry, you a**hole." Funny thing is, the girl only started getting upset when her dad started yelling. Had he just taken her outside the girl would have been perfectly happy to finish her ice cream and come into the bookstore afterwards.

So my point is that the parents getting all agitated over the Happy Birthday Incident probably upset the kid far more than not having some random waiters sing to him.


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EXACTLY. The kid is going to take his cues way more from how the adults around him are acting than anything else. How many times do 6-year olds get told they can't do something, even on their birthday? They don't know. If the adults just roll with it and distract the kid with other stuff he forgets all about it. I think in this case it may have been the adults who were more disappointed in losing what they thought was going to happen.

[Duke]

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Thanks to the rational people here, these are the points I am trying to make. It is not irrational to love your child enough to make an extra effort for him 1 day out of the year. I never considered myself spoiled (although I am sure most people do not) and my parents did the extra stuff for me when it was my bday. Why would people have children if they aren't even willing to make a bday special for them? I mean, if its impossible, like the kid wants a gift that is out of the budget, its impossible. But for something pretty innocent and small, why wouldn't someone do that for their own child?

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Because some people think it's their job to dictate what is special, how special those things are, what kids should be happy with, and so on.

[Signal777]

Wow, a bunch of psychologists on this board. Insightful!