Pregnant GF

[BCPVP]

Disclaimer: I'm anti-abortion. So the only options I see as legitimate are to stay with the girl and support the kid or don't stay, but still support the kid, the former being the best option. Other than those and just running and never looking back, what options does OP have?

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And that all options should be given serious consideration in such serious situations, rather than resorting to knee-jerk reactions that may make us feel good, but be calls to ill-considered behavior and immaturity rather than anything noble or mature.

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I suppose OP has the "option" to repeatedly kick this girl in the stomach, throw her down the stairs, etc. I hope this "option" isn't worthy of much serious consideration.

[BCPVP]

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Semi-related general comment: much of this discussion has centered around the alleged "agreement" between OP and the girl. Would those one the "run" side be changing their tune if there had been no discussion of what they'd do or this was just a random hookup? Would OP then be more responsible to this child then he is now?

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Yes, I think that's fair to say.

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Fair to say that OP would be more financially responsible? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[Blarg]

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I suppose OP has the "option" to repeatedly kick this girl in the stomach, throw her down the stairs, etc. I hope this "option" isn't worthy of much serious consideration.


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What's the point of a comment like that?

[BCPVP]

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I suppose OP has the "option" to repeatedly kick this girl in the stomach, throw her down the stairs, etc. I hope this "option" isn't worthy of much serious consideration.


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What's the point of a comment like that?

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Some options are objectionable without the need for "serious consideration".

[Blarg]

To you. It's clearly incorrect on its face to assume that everybody shares your outlook, and you know this. I'd go so far as to dare to say, not sharing your outlook doesn't make someone a murderer or a scumbag, either. But I'm kinda crazy like that, you never know what I'll do next.

[gumpzilla]

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Semi-related general comment: much of this discussion has centered around the alleged "agreement" between OP and the girl. Would those one the "run" side be changing their tune if there had been no discussion of what they'd do or this was just a random hookup? Would OP then be more responsible to this child then he is now?

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Yes, I think that's fair to say.

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Fair to say that OP would be more financially responsible? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

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No, in the eyes of the law, equally financially responsible either way, most likely. In terms of moral responsibility to the mother, I think he has more moral responsibility if they had never discussed the topic and she wasn't retracting what she told him she would do. I can't really see any argument to the contrary.

[Inso0]

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Two things:

First, having a kid at 16 makes all your advice suspect. Having two more before you're 24 doesn't sound that great an idea either. At least for by far most people.

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I am not the biological father of the 8 year old. And my wife is 18 months older than I am.

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Second, bolding DON'T KILL THE BABY also kind of undermines you here as well. This would come more under the category of preaching to the converted.

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Sorry, what?

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There are waiting lists anywhere from 12 to 36 months long for adoptions in the United States. There are plenty of people out there who will give your child the care it needs.


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Completely untrue. You can find 4 and 5 year olds all over the place that nobody wants. The long lists are for fresh pink babies, white ones, preferably blond-haired and blue-eyed. Good luck if you're not one of those, or the result of what happens when things don't go right and you get given up for adoption after a couple of years instead of instantly.

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Well the OP would obviously have one of these "fresh pink ones" so what's the problem?


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You'll regret it for the rest of your life. Especially if you go on to have children in the future.

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Not only do you not know this, but plenty of people have done otherwise and felt fine with it. Throughout history. Abortion used to BE birth control.

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Fundamental difference in philosophy. You don't think abortion is killing a human being, how can I argue with that? But if I don't say it, who will? This forum is notoriously liberal. Especially OOT.

Throughout history, most "civilized" societies had a slave trade. For many years, people thought the way to cure any disease was to just take out your blood. Smoking was considered HEALTHY not too long ago. The list is endless. So don't tell me that just because abortion was rampant in the past, that it makes it ok.

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Absolutely nothing in the world compares to seeing your daughter smile for the first time.

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Absolutely nothing in the world makes it necessary to have this experience now, when ill-prepared. Absolutely nothing in the world makes it impossible for this to not only happen later, but happen any number of times.


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You're right. That's what adoption is for.

[TheDudeAbides]

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Throughout history, most "civilized" societies had a slave trade. For many years, people thought the way to cure any disease was to just take out your blood. Smoking was considered HEALTHY not too long ago. The list is endless. So don't tell me that just because abortion was rampant in the past, that it makes it ok.


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You really can't compare a woman having a consentual abortion to the slave trade.

[Blarg]

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Two things:

First, having a kid at 16 makes all your advice suspect. Having two more before you're 24 doesn't sound that great an idea either. At least for by far most people.

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I am not the biological father of the 8 year old. And my wife is 18 months older than I am.

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Second, bolding DON'T KILL THE BABY also kind of undermines you here as well. This would come more under the category of preaching to the converted.

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Sorry, what?

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There are waiting lists anywhere from 12 to 36 months long for adoptions in the United States. There are plenty of people out there who will give your child the care it needs.


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Completely untrue. You can find 4 and 5 year olds all over the place that nobody wants. The long lists are for fresh pink babies, white ones, preferably blond-haired and blue-eyed. Good luck if you're not one of those, or the result of what happens when things don't go right and you get given up for adoption after a couple of years instead of instantly.

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Well the OP would obviously have one of these "fresh pink ones" so what's the problem?


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You'll regret it for the rest of your life. Especially if you go on to have children in the future.

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Not only do you not know this, but plenty of people have done otherwise and felt fine with it. Throughout history. Abortion used to BE birth control.

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Fundamental difference in philosophy. You don't think abortion is killing a human being, how can I argue with that? But if I don't say it, who will? This forum is notoriously liberal. Especially OOT.

Throughout history, most "civilized" societies had a slave trade. For many years, people thought the way to cure any disease was to just take out your blood. Smoking was considered HEALTHY not too long ago. The list is endless. So don't tell me that just because abortion was rampant in the past, that it makes it ok.

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Absolutely nothing in the world compares to seeing your daughter smile for the first time.

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Absolutely nothing in the world makes it necessary to have this experience now, when ill-prepared. Absolutely nothing in the world makes it impossible for this to not only happen later, but happen any number of times.


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You're right. That's what adoption is for.

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First, for your huh? you can blame yourself, because that's where all of it lies.

On other points: having a kid at 16 whether or not it's your own, and having a kid at 18 or under, amount to pretty much the same thing. You and your wife, partner, or whatever she was at the time really screwed up badly and don't strike me as being in that great a position to give someone else advice.

Also, I didn't know liberals were "notorious," or that having different moral or religious ideas were grounds for notoriety. One day, maybe we'll get that theocracy thing going and you can push all our heads underwater until we see the light like back in the old days, eh?


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So don't tell me that just because abortion was rampant in the past, that it makes it ok.

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Don't tell me that because you have a religious belief, that's supposed to necessarily be sufficient for anyone but yourself. This is an open forum after all. Watch out, you might even find a (shudder) liberal or (shudder) someone with a different idea who doesn't automatically assume yours are correct. Unacceptable, but what can you do in this unenlightened age?


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Well the OP would obviously have one of these "fresh pink ones" so what's the problem?


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And you happen to know it will be a white, blond-haired blue eyed baby? And that it will be given up for adoption immediately, rather than kept for a while and then get given up later precisely because the mother and/or family wasn't ready to take care of it in the first place?

Please, stop pretending you know the outcome of things you have no idea about.


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That's what adoption is for.

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It's not up to you to tell other people what things are for. Yet, anyway.

[leehrat]

I wonder if it's at all possible to find a more chauvinistic country in the world that allows the male to decide whether the female should abort? I figure there must be at least one country that OP can travel to with his gf where he can essentially "force" his gf to abort the child. I was just curious if anyone knows anything about this; I am not endorsing this at all and believe that OP should stay with the mother and child and help to raise it.