Ask the 2+2 Ladies Your Questions

[Anacardo]

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This is spot-on..

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Mar,

I am the Keeper of the Great Crystal Rod that refracteth the Light of Truth into this, the Reading Rainbow.

I am the Lord of the Morning.

I am the Lord of the Morning.

PS: HURRY UP. You've been in school your whole life. You take a never ending supply of reasonably intelligent nubile young things for granted. You will be stunned by the difficulty of meeting them after you leave college. Get your ass in gear.

[Blarg]

When your kid is attractive, tell her, "Luckily, you got your looks from your mother's side of the family."

When she's not, tell her, "Unfortunately, you got your looks from my side of the family." Perhaps adding in, "...which God has apparently sworn a vendetta against."

Just kidding, just kidding!

[Anacardo]

Blarg,

I know I've hit the bedrock of stark, brutal reality when you're reduced to piteously lame Blargjokes.

[Marwan]

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Playing the negative tapes in your head is a common issue for a ton of people. You seriously have to re-write the tapes. Force yourself.

"I'm a good person and there's no reason for me not to have a normal social life."
"I have a lot to offer in a relationship."
"It's OK to be rejected, it just means that I've started the journey. Eventually I'll find the right person."

If you're attending University, there must be 100's of opportunities to socialize outside of class. There must be someplace, (student services?) where you can go to find out about special interest clubs, intramural sports, social activities, even open swim time at the pool.

Read DB's thread and consider how to build your confidence.

If you do start seeing someone, don't go overboard on the clinginess because she's your first, you'll scare her off.

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Ya this is exactly what I have to do.. I've been in a rut for a long time and a different mindset is exactly what I need.

The clinginess is something I have to watch out for too. Though I'm probably withdrawn enough that I won't have to worry about getting too attached..

Okay another question.. let's say I do manage a date or start going out with someone.. If the subject of past relationships comes up, should I be honest, or would that potentially scare her off?

[Blarg]

I'm only permitting myself the occasional dopey joke, rather than providing answers asked of the ladies, until they've taken a few shots at a question first. Or at least trying to!

[katyseagull]

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I have a theory about the difference between men and women, based on one of the evolutionary pressures that I believe has been pretty strong in the development of our species: sexual selection.

And it's this: Men are the way they are because women, deep down, like them that way, and women are the way they are because men, deep down, like them that way.


What you think, ladies?

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Hm. I don't know carterbitter. In some ways I can see you might have a point. Natural seletion eh? Well, theoretically it makes sense.

But just off the top of my head, there are a few things that guys do that I can't imagine could be encouraged or appreciated by the female species. Like uh ignore us so completely when we're talking to you that it makes steam come out of our ears...and abandon us on the weekends to go drinking with your buddies... and how about favoring porn on your computers over us in the bedroom... and playing dumb like you don't know how to prepare food in the kitchen. Those are just a few off the top of my head.

Oh, oh a few more! Why do all men seem to like fireworks and guns and loud noises and watching the history channel (especially programs on Hitler and WWII)?

Now explain again how men have evolved to this in your natural selection theory?


And while you're at it, do you think it's natural selection that men prefer women who shop a lot and constantly chatter at them and want to bring home a never ending stream of cute puppies and kittens? Does this make sense in your theory? [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[entertainme]

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I'm not sure what the analogous male 'essential quality' is - there may well be none - but our society demands that women be attractive, above all else. An ugly female is persona non grata and has to work like a coolie to receive the least notice or appreciation at all. As profound statements go, this is probably on par with 'the sky is blue' and 'puppies are adorable.' Nonetheless is it simply, brutally, absolutely true. I'm no exception at all; I don't even notice unattractive women, ninety percent of the time, and when I do it is for a brief note of disappointed dismissal.


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This actually explains a lot Cardo.

Have you ever watched this commercial? (I'm sure that Dom posted it in OOT originally but I can't find the thread.)

Have you seriously never known someone that initially was not very attractive to you but as you grew to know them better they became more attractive over time because of who they were?

You've been sold a bill of goods my friend and spent too much time in OOT "hot chicks" threads.

The huge majority of people with some effort can be attractive enough to find someone to share their lives with. I say this with the realization that men have a more instinctual reaction to physical attributes.

Some additional thoughts for the parents facing early puberty:

- I thought of this commercial earlier. I think it's a good idea for girls to see the images they're comparing themselves to are not real.

- If your child wouldn't be embarrased by it, now is a good time to marshal the forces of the women close to you to reinforce that's it's time to celebrate, grandma, favorite aunt.

- On the shopping trip give your daughter the option to bring the best friend along so if they want to they have someone to share this with.

[punkass]

This is why I always keep my suggestions (solutions, recommendations, whatever) to myself. When a girl is totally just complaining in my ear, I just nod and go "Wow" and "Really?" and "that's messed up". I don't mean to totally steal Chris Rock material, but this is my strategy.

People, and girls especially, HATE receiving advice when they don't want to hear it. If I feel I HAVE to say something because the situation is either a) too funny or b) too crucial, then I will preface with saying "Let me know when I should STFU and mind my own business, but..."

Otherwise, unless I hear a "What do you think?", I'm just listening.

[katyseagull]

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If I feel I HAVE to say something because the situation is either a) too funny or b) too crucial, then I will preface with saying "Let me know when I should STFU and mind my own business, but..."



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Haha, I love this line. We could learn a lot from you punkass.

[Anacardo]

Nice Enough Woman Whom I Nonetheless Do Not Exist To Entertain, Regardless Of Forum Handle:

This 'explains' what exactly. I regard myself as only recalling attention to the very, very obvious.

Yes, I have seen that commercial. What it shows is manifestly obvious to anyone with half a brain. Nonetheless I think the power of Hollywood glamour culture is is just unassailable in ways that sheer political power or wealth are not. To 'disarm,' so to speak, and be the first to declare yourself not cool, is suicide.

No, I haven't. Every woman I've ever found beautiful started out at least pretty, and became more or less so based on who they were. The most beautiful woman I have ever known was the only woman I've ever really loved. I would imagine the one is interdependent with the other.

I have not been sold a bill of goods. I know what people look like. I know what is and isn't attractive, aesthetically and sexually, so far as I'm concerned. I like to think I have a fairly gestalt attitude about it - I try not to have rigid preferences, either a girl's look 'works' or it doesn't - but that doesn't mean that I don't have standards that have to be met.

"The huge majority of people with some effort can be attractive enough to find someone to share their lives with."

Explore these qualifications in your mind and they become disquieting; one becomes conscious, as in so many other areas of life; of a hierarchic system of limitations, with which one must make one's peace or be forever frustrated. Tell that to the subscribers to Tiger Beat magazine, Justin Timberlake posters crowding for bedroom wall space.