Pregnant GF

[Edge34]

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Folks saying the GF lied about or went back on her word about abortion and then using that to justify the OP abandoning her and his child are idiots. Like any life changing event, talking about what you are going to do in that situation without actually being in that situation isn't worth much. You just don't know how you are going to react until in the moment. So the GF didn't think she wanted a child and actively tried to avoid having one. Now she is pregnant and it turns out she wants it, totally standard. If she was luring OP into marriage or something by saying no kids while secretly not taking the pill or whatever that would change things, but changing her mind doesn't.

If the OP doesn't want to be around to raise the child that's his decision. However, he is the father and he does have a responsiblity to support the child. Responsibilty is a bitch.

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Clearly you're not a free thinker. We're supposed to rally around the OP and support his decision to abandon his responsibility. I mean, what about his DREAMS, brother? Not agreeing with him abandoning the girl means you're not a free thinker and are probably the cause of terrorism and AIDS, and you probably kick puppies too.

[kerowo]

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and you probably kick puppies too.

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Right in the pooper.

[WillMagic]

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Folks saying the GF lied about or went back on her word about abortion and then using that to justify the OP abandoning her and his child are idiots. Like any life changing event, talking about what you are going to do in that situation without actually being in that situation isn't worth much. You just don't know how you are going to react until in the moment. So the GF didn't think she wanted a child and actively tried to avoid having one. Now she is pregnant and it turns out she wants it, totally standard. If she was luring OP into marriage or something by saying no kids while secretly not taking the pill or whatever that would change things, but changing her mind doesn't.

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Bull-[censored]. Your word is your bond in this world. She has the ability to keep her word to a person she supposedly loves and respects, and yet she is making a conscious decision not to. She has no right to expect any kind of support from a person she has wronged so badly.

[QuickLearner]

I see your point. I should have quoted it so I could disagree with it explicitly. They had sex for fun. Good. Now she has a baby, right? Wrong. They both have a baby. She's willing to grow up and face it and he isn't. The post equates the father's responsibility to "18 years of servitude" and then defines "the solution" as a simple medical procedure. Are you buying all that whole-cloth?

edit: this is a response to your earlier post, not the one just above this one.

[kerowo]

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Folks saying the GF lied about or went back on her word about abortion and then using that to justify the OP abandoning her and his child are idiots. Like any life changing event, talking about what you are going to do in that situation without actually being in that situation isn't worth much. You just don't know how you are going to react until in the moment. So the GF didn't think she wanted a child and actively tried to avoid having one. Now she is pregnant and it turns out she wants it, totally standard. If she was luring OP into marriage or something by saying no kids while secretly not taking the pill or whatever that would change things, but changing her mind doesn't.

[/ QUOTE ]

Bull-[censored]. Your word is your bond in this world. She has the ability to keep her word to a person she supposedly loves and respects, and yet she is making a conscious decision not to. She has no right to expect any kind of support from a person she has wronged so badly.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, 20 Somethings talking about abortion while not pregnant is the same as people talking about if they could kill someone. Especially if they live in the burbs and all the crime they've seen is on CSI.

The biggest sign of adulthood is the ability to accept the consequences of your actions even when they are bad. People who can't do this are idiots and deserve nothing but scorn. Short version: If you aren't ready to be a daddy don't have sex.

[Blarg]

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There is another person who is affected by the abortion.


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Begging the question.

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Do they say whether Tylenol will bring the fetus back to life?


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Nonsense said just for fun.

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Do they have anything to say about the emotional wreckage that sometimes results when young women are forced into decisions like this by inconvenienced boyfriends? Or is that part of that other discussion that we should somehow ignore as if it isn't at the heart of the issue?


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I really, really wish the pot wouldn't feel so comfortable calling the kettle black here. But in our culture at present, it largely can get off scot free with this sort of thing.

Do the people telling this woman she's a bad, selfish, even murderous person want to step up and take any responsibility for the emotional wreckage they put this vulnerable person through?

No! Hell no!

They often don't give a damn about her at all. Just about their beliefs and an opportunity to beat her about the head and neck with them so they can feel better about THEMSELVES. Not for anyone else whatsoever.

If they care so much about this woman, where are they after the "child", that blob of cells thus far that they say they esteem so highly, is born? Nowhere, right? How many of these people will give a damn if the child is born to an unprepared mother? One with little ability to care for the child, one that might not even care for the child? I mean really, not just by phoning each other and congratulating themselves for their lofty moral insight. How come all the love is there before the baby is out, and after that, we can all just go f*ck ourselves?

When I see the people so highly praising any and every birth to any and everyone under any and ever circumstance actually step up to the plate and start caring for kids and mothers after they're born, then I'll take them seriously. When they start helping out, coming over and minding the kid, donating to orphanages and other results of their "helpful" ideas, when they start adopting leftover, unwanted abused kids and fostering them, and do it for 18 years at a stretch, then it's time to take them at their word that they're truly Christian, truly care, or are even paying attention.

Instead, what they're there for is to heap scorn on both parties and feel good about themselves for doing so, until one or both crumple under social pressure, if not under force of law. When the "caring" people are there, it's when it's easy and at zero cost of any kind, to them. And what they think is a moral call is instead a celebration of irresponsibility and then a firmly closed door in the face of the consequences. They don't give a damn about the kid.

But when it comes to emotional wreckage, they are happy to pile on the bandwagon and make the potential mother and father feel as bad as they possibly can and even call them murderers.

This strikes me as moral irresponsibility of the highest degree. It's mere playing at morality, and not even really skirting around the edges of insight of the potential mother and father, much less oneself.

If it were me, I know I sure wouldn't be turning potential births into opportunities to make potential mothers feel like scumbags and push them into things they may be completely unready for in any fashion. And I sure wouldn't skip out on the consequences of THAT decision urging childbirth to everyone every time by basically dropping the subject once the child is born and taking no further part in its life or well-being. To me, that enshrines hypocrisy and is what defines a lack of morality as well as anything out there.

Where are the people saying, hey, it's not such a great idea to make people feel bad about not having babies, unless we plan on taking over the raising of the kid ourselves and REALLY care about the person, not just about ourselves and patting ourselves on the back about our pet ideas, then taking the quickest exit ourselves and getting the hell out of there?

[QuickLearner]

Wow. Never mind about civil discourse.

By the way, I did adopt a 2 year old girl about 24 years ago because I wasn't lucky enough to have one of my own.

So maybe you better tone down the condemnation.

And you may want to consider counseling.

[BCPVP]

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Folks saying the GF lied about or went back on her word about abortion and then using that to justify the OP abandoning her and his child are idiots. Like any life changing event, talking about what you are going to do in that situation without actually being in that situation isn't worth much. You just don't know how you are going to react until in the moment. So the GF didn't think she wanted a child and actively tried to avoid having one. Now she is pregnant and it turns out she wants it, totally standard. If she was luring OP into marriage or something by saying no kids while secretly not taking the pill or whatever that would change things, but changing her mind doesn't.

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Bull-[censored]. Your word is your bond in this world. She has the ability to keep her word to a person she supposedly loves and respects, and yet she is making a conscious decision not to. She has no right to expect any kind of support from a person she has wronged so badly.

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How far do we take this? I've had conversations with friends about what we'd do if we won the lottery. One of my friends has said he'd buy me a sweet car. Has he wronged me somehow if after winning the lottery he doesn't buy me a car? I think I'd be a fool to assume that what we talked about constituted some sort of binding agreement, because there was little at stake during those conversations.

[TxSteve]

I suspect that the girlfriend has 'aborted' the original poster.

hooray for a woman's right to choose.

[Blarg]

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Wow. Never mind about civil discourse.

By the way, I did adopt a 2 year old girl about 24 years ago because I wasn't lucky enough to have one of my own.

So maybe you better tone down the condemnation.

And you may want to consider counseling.

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Extraordinarily weak.

If you don't want to address questions you raise, blame yourself.