Dealing With Being Unattractive

[katyseagull]

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... focus on saving up for a condo. Chicks are also turned on by a guy who has his life together. I’m gonna focus on being more achieving/responsible with my life, than being that crazy party boy. The party boy role works, but you have to have the looks/personality/expendable bank roll to pull it off.

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What you say is true. Girls are turned on by a guy who has his life together. I like how you say you're going to focus on achieving and being responsible in life. Just be careful not to try too hard to impress girls with material status things as women don't really like shallow guys. Basically, work to meet your own goals, fix up a nice home that you are proud of and achieve what you always dreamed of achieving. The rest will follow.

[Kimbell175113]

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You are unattractive because you believe you are unattractive.

- Buy nice clothes
- Learn good personal hygiene
- Learn how to converse normally with people
- Start to believe you are attractive

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woa, that's kinda offensive. op never said he doesn't know how to wash his hair or iron a shirt.

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I think the point was that it doesn't matter. If he puts in a little more effort today, no matter how much he did yesterday, it will increase his confidence.

I don't really have much to say at the moment, but I like this thread a lot and want to thank the OP for starting it.

[Allinlife]

this post makes me pretty sad. Looks obviously play a roll but if you start to grow these beliefs/attitudes about how unattractive you are, it'll just make your life a lot harder than it should be. you need to start to believe that you got more than your looks to offer, if you act like "you got it" then it'll make girls wonder what does this guy have that's making him so secure/radiate confidence. like people above have mentioned, being unattractive is okay, but being well-groomed is a must.


obviously chicks at your age probably dig some stability but never fool your self into thinking that it's your ticket to attracting girls. i hope you don't have that realization 10 years down the line after you have saved up for that condo but lack the correct mindset towards women/looks/life in general.

[rothko]

i quite resent the media for pushing these "ideals" on us. a lot of pain and trouble could be saved. even the beautiful people are plastered with makeup and airbrushed. so, they take the very best which is already a high standard and then they make it even more unrealistic. really too bad imo.

here we have enigma and many others feeling like they don't measure up. to what? some arbitrarily decided upon standard of beauty. it sucks.

op seems like an intelligent guy. probably really cool and yet he isn't good enough. [censored] that.

[tarheeljks]

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op seems like an intelligent guy. probably really cool and yet he isn't good enough. [censored] that.

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yeah but saying "i'm unattractive so i get no girls/guys" becomes self-fulfilling very easily. even if he is taking measures to compensate for his perceived lack of attractiveness, that sort of mindset can't be beneficial.

[rothko]

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op seems like an intelligent guy. probably really cool and yet he isn't good enough. [censored] that.

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yeah but saying "i'm unattractive so i get no girls/guys" becomes self-fulfilling very easily. even if he is taking measures to compensate for his perceived lack of attractiveness, that sort of mindset can't be beneficial.

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of course it's not beneficial. that's my point. it sucks that society made him feel this way.

[tarheeljks]

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op seems like an intelligent guy. probably really cool and yet he isn't good enough. [censored] that.

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yeah but saying "i'm unattractive so i get no girls/guys" becomes self-fulfilling very easily. even if he is taking measures to compensate for his perceived lack of attractiveness, that sort of mindset can't be beneficial.

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of course it's not beneficial. that's my point. it sucks that society made him feel this way.

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i guess. i hope i don't come off as an [censored] by saying this, but i would have more sympathy if op was female.

[rothko]

why?

[tarheeljks]

you alluded to it when you mentioned this

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i quite resent the media for pushing these "ideals" on us. a lot of pain and trouble could be saved. even the beautiful people are plastered with makeup and airbrushed. so, they take the very best which is already a high standard and then they make it even more unrealistic. really too bad imo.

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this applies to women far more often than men. obv plenty ofgirls want to look beautiful, but as you said there is an immense amount of pressure from the males, the media etc. obv males feel this pressure too, or op wouldn't be making this post. however, its a lot easier for males to circumvent it.


sorry for the hijack

[rothko]

yes, obviously a bigger issue for females as a group, but that doesn't make enigma's situation any less real.