ask me how I ended up 44, never married and with no kids

[J.C. Gloves]

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Not that I'm complaining, but I've always wanted to be married and have children, so it's odd it hasn't happened yet.

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Do you think you need these things/parts of life to feel like you've accomplished something?

[DING-DONG YO]

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At age 44, I would guess your most likely chance for kids is going to be as a stepfather. To be able to go to your child's high school graduation at age 65, you will need to impregnate someone in the next couple of years.

After being a bachelor for so long, do you think you are so set in your ways that you are likely to enjoy marriage?

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Good question. About 7 years ago I would've said it'd be tough and I was set in my ways. But for some reason, in the last few years I've really mellowed and am looking forward to sharing my life with someone. Sure, I have little quirks, but my last relationship (last year for about 6 months - not the woman my age, another one, before her) taught me to relax and go with the flow more. Love someone for who they are and not who you want them to be, flaws and all. Acceptance.

And you're probably right about the kids...I wouldn't mind that...or adoption. Kids are kids and they need love no matter if they come from your genes or not.

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lol, no he isn't right about the kids.

I know tons of guys that had kids in their 40's. My father is 57 and has a 12 and 10y/o.

[Turkish]

What happened with your fiance? I remember reading the engagement thread but not anything on the breakup.

[Dominic]

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What happened with your fiance? I remember reading the engagement thread but not anything on the breakup.

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We were together four years, moved to Vegas, bought a house, got engaged...then realized we were best friends and not really interested in being lovers anymore. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

So we ended it. We're still close though and see and talk to one another all the time. She's still a good friend. In fact, she introduced me to the last woman I dated, albeit briefly!

[esad]

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...but I've always wanted to be married and have children, so it's odd it hasn't happened yet.

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This is not true. You might believe it, but there is something more important in your life then this, otherwise you would have done it by now. You need to ask yourself what is more important and why you never allow yourself to get the point were you could get married.

Btw, I'm basically at about the same point in my life as you, except I've never wanted to have children.

I used to worry about being married years ago, but now I don't. I kinda changed by point of view and instead of constantly worrying about the future and how I need to do x or y, instead I just try to find happiness in something each day. I'm a much more happy, less stressed out person and I came to realize that I would rather remain single then end up in some hellish relationship were I'm not really happy. I know I can be happy single. (Getting out of a long term relationship with a pyshco a few months ago probably has some bearing on this point of view [img]/images/graemlins/ooo.gif[/img])

[Dominic]

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Not that I'm complaining, but I've always wanted to be married and have children, so it's odd it hasn't happened yet.

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Do you think you need these things/parts of life to feel like you've accomplished something?

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The older I get the more I feel the need to "do" for someone else...not so much accomplish things, just be less selfish and more giving...

[thirddan]

was that the redhead (blondish maybe) that went to the first magoo meetup at the mgm grand? i remember meeting her...she used to post here, but i can't remember the screenname...

[Dominic]

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...but I've always wanted to be married and have children, so it's odd it hasn't happened yet.

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This is not true. You might believe it, but there is something more important in your life then this, otherwise you would have done it by now. You need to ask yourself what is more important and why you never allow yourself to get the point were you could get married.

Btw, I'm basically at about the same point in my life as you, except I've never wanted to have children.

I used to worry about being married years ago, but now I don't. I kinda changed by point of view and instead of constantly worrying about the future and how I need to do x or y, instead I just try to find happiness in something each day. I'm a much more happy, less stressed out person and I came to realize that I would rather remain single then end up in some hellish relationship were I'm not really happy. I know I can be happy single. (Getting out of a long term relationship with a pyshco a few months ago probably has some bearing on this point of view [img]/images/graemlins/ooo.gif[/img])

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Good points! Make no mistake, I'm not unhappy or regretful, and I think it's "right" that I've gotten to this point in my life without either of those things happening yet. It doesn't mean I don't want them, though.

Like you, I am always quite content when I'm single...and I think you have a fantastic attitude about your day to day life. It is always much better being single than being in the wrong relationship.

[bogey1]

Based on your career choices (film and kinda poker) it sounds like they are all encompassing types of things. They occupy a lot of time in ways that are unpredictable in income, location, etc. Those aren't attributes that are conducive to stable long term relationships.

Doesn't mean you're bad or anything, just that the people you'll tend to meet will be in similar fields, similarly free spirits and not keen to settle down and have kids. To get married and have kids you've got to meet people of that mindset. You might find someone like that, like you, but odds are smaller given the demographic it sounds like you've spent your life around.

I'm the polar opposite in life experiences. God knows I (and many others I'm sure) would love to have had a taste of the life you led doing porn work [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]. But, my skills and personality don't lead that way, just as I suspect yours didn't lead to the more "normal" life in the burbs surrounded by people who are settling down.

[Dominic]

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was that the redhead (blondish maybe) that went to the first magoo meetup at the mgm grand? i remember meeting her...she used to post here, but i can't remember the screenname...

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that's her! Erika. Her name was Stickywicket, I think.