I hereby pronounce you in denial

[MrMon]

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Marriage, one of the longest lasting foundations of modern western civilization, is also a construct that is brutally defective by design. Marriage at its core denies that relationships are transient. This is an interesting emergent property of human social behavior.


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This whole argument is flawed. It assumes that marriage is some sort of artificial construct found only in Western civilizations. It's not, some form of it has developed in nearly every culture on Earth, both Western and non-Western. That would tell you that it's inherent to human nature, not some sort of artificial imposition. The Western (Christian) version of it may be imperfect as currently implemented, but some form of it is a pretty natural desire.

I will also remind you that the world looks remarkably different at 45 than it does at 20. Although the stereotype fantasy of most 45 year-old guys is to be out chasing 25 year-old women, the truth is more along the lines of that you want to be at home with your kids and a good woman. That's why marriage exists. The fact that some people never grow up, well, that's their problem. But most guys are incredibly loyal to their wives by middle age.

I have observed that the problem with marriage is not with the institution, but that too many people don't take it seriously enough when they're picking who to get married to. I can guarantee you that almost all marriages that end up bad should never have happened in the first place. Most divorced people, if they are brutally honest, will tell you that they had a bad feeling early on in the relationship, before marriage, but ignored those feelings and continued on anyway. Better to take the hit early on and stop the marriage train than wind up with a trainwreck divorce later on.

[owsley]

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Being a housewife when you have a decent degree and 2 children; laziness.

How much does it cost to hire a nanny? A maid even? Outsourcing this kind of labor is a win-win always. It's not hard to find a nice and nurturing young boy or girl to babysit and clean up around the house. Again there's no excuse I can think of for abandoning your career unless you are self-loathing or have a self esteem problem.

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Doing it yourself instead of having a nanny/whatever gives you a much stronger bond with your children and makes sure things are done the way you want them to be done. Also, there's homeschooling. This is all way more important than a career. In fact, I would say it's the opposite. Having your kids raised by others instead of doing it yourself is lazy. Stay at home, raise your kids, homeschool them.

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I feel the same way. I have huge objections to most parents who send their kids to boarding school, at least the boarding schools which I am familiar with (the preppy east coast ones). Most parents who send their kids to places like Deerfield or whatever are doing it so their kids grow up with other privileged kids away from the real world, and so they don't take up time which the parents would rather spend working. Both the parents work, and having a kid would take up tons of time and mean they couldn't keep their high paying jobs... so pack the kid up and send him away.

[lehighguy]

I know a lot of [censored] up neglected kids whose parents though like you did.

[lehighguy]

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31607

[LooseCaller]

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Having your kids raised by others instead of doing it yourself is lazy. Stay at home, raise your kids, homeschool them.

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dont you think that homeschooling will have some kind of negative effect on your child's ability to function in social settings and interact with new people? it seems like one of the greatest benefits from school is the experience functioning in a large group. i agree that children would probably benefit from suplemental education at home, but full time homeschooling is a gigantic time commitment that wont even necessarily have net positive benefits in the end. especially in a work world where charisma and confidence play as large a role as they do in success.

[Metric]

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When the major breadwinner in the couple induces the other partner to abandon a career, education or other development of their skills, I believe they have a financial obligation to continue to support the spouse beyond the point where either one of them wants the relationship to continue.

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What do you mean exactly by "induce?"

[yukoncpa]

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I'm curious to see what other people here think of the subject. I certainly have a biased point of view as the child of now divorced parents. I think marriage has nothing but negative consequences

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As George Costanza said, “Just look at me, I’m the result of two people that decided to stay together.”

[pvn]

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Having your kids raised by others instead of doing it yourself is lazy. Stay at home, raise your kids, homeschool them.

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dont you think that homeschooling will have some kind of negative effect on your child's ability to function in social settings and interact with new people? it seems like one of the greatest benefits from school is the experience functioning in a large group. i agree that children would probably benefit from suplemental education at home, but full time homeschooling is a gigantic time commitment that wont even necessarily have net positive benefits in the end. especially in a work world where charisma and confidence play as large a role as they do in success.

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Anecdotal evidence, but the kids I've met who are currently being homeschooled are among the most confident, articulate, and intelligent that I've met.

I went to lunch with a client, who brought his 12-year-old along with us, and the kid was completely at ease in any topic of conversation outside actual business. He was a big improvement over a lot of posters on this site, for sure. This isn't a super-wealthy family, either. They live in a pretty rural area (their neighbors have goats in the front yard).

I know maybe 10 other kids personally who are homeschooled, and the results are basically the same.

IMO most of the "bad" conceptions of homeschooling come from the first wave of homeschoolers who were extreme Christian fundamentalists, trying to shield their kids from the outside world.

[Nielsio]

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Having your kids raised by others instead of doing it yourself is lazy. Stay at home, raise your kids, homeschool them.

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dont you think that homeschooling will have some kind of negative effect on your child's ability to function in social settings and interact with new people? it seems like one of the greatest benefits from school is the experience functioning in a large group. i agree that children would probably benefit from suplemental education at home, but full time homeschooling is a gigantic time commitment that wont even necessarily have net positive benefits in the end. especially in a work world where charisma and confidence play as large a role as they do in success.

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Anecdotal evidence, but the kids I've met who are currently being homeschooled are among the most confident, articulate, and intelligent that I've met.

I went to lunch with a client, who brought his 12-year-old along with us, and the kid was completely at ease in any topic of conversation outside actual business. He was a big improvement over a lot of posters on this site, for sure. This isn't a super-wealthy family, either. They live in a pretty rural area (their neighbors have goats in the front yard).

I know maybe 10 other kids personally who are homeschooled, and the results are basically the same.

IMO most of the "bad" conceptions of homeschooling come from the first wave of homeschoolers who were extreme Christian fundamentalists, trying to shield their kids from the outside world.

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We've become so used to the products of (ever degrading) public schooling, that we are completely bewildered by the idea that children as young as 16, 14, 12, .., can be very capable of understanding the world, understanding the people around them and having the intellectual capacity of an 'adult' insofar that they feel responsible for their actions, and the change in behaviour that comes along with it.

I applaud this with all my heart and hope to see this trend continue in the future.