Amusing Personality Types

[katyseagull]

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(Did I already tell this story?)

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Haha, excellent. You and I sound so similar.

[katyseagull]

"The Dismissive Co-worker"

They come to you and ask you to do something because they are busy; they give you a stack of work and the briefest of explanations. You come back to ask them for clarification and they stare at you blankly, like you're annoying them. "Say what? What don't you understand?" (condescending tone). Or, my personal favorite - a half chuckle "I really have more important things to do than this right now," when THEY are the ones that asked you to help them in the first place!

They brush you off with a dismissive look or a roll of the eyes, like you are 14 yrs old.


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"The Dismissive Mod"

Well what can I say about this guy. The title pretty much says it all. You send him a PM, he dismisses it. You feel like a retard.

[diebitter]

The Never-Ending Storyteller

Sort of a variant of the 'repetitive storyteller' maybe, this person never, ever, ever gets to the point.

It's like 'well when we went on holiday, this dog ran out in front of the car. It was a collie, and strangely enough our family dog when I was a boy was a collie called 'Joe'. He was named after my Great Grandpa on the maternal side, who ironically worked in a Ford Plant (ironically? WHAT?). Tall man, as tall as that guy Albert in Accounts. You know the survivalist guy. I once did one of those survivalist weekend, and met this couple in the woods who were photographers...'

LEAVE ME ALONE, FELLAH!

[diebitter]

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"The Dismissive Mod"

Well what can I say about this guy. The title pretty much says it all. You send him a PM, he dismisses it. You feel like a retard.

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names plz.

[fyodor]

The Paranoid Poster
I have some great specimens for this thread but they all invlove friends of mine who I suspect might read my posts as they know my online identies.

[Fishmonger]

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The Whiner

It never stops. Every time this person opens his/her mouth, it's to complain about something. When there's nothing to complain about, The Whiner will take a positive, and turn it into a negative.

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People like this are the bane of my existence. CHEER UP!

I think I'm both of the storyteller ones put together though.

[Colt McCoy]

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The Never-Ending Storyteller

Sort of a variant of the 'repetitive storyteller' maybe, this person never, ever, ever gets to the point.

It's like 'well when we went on holiday, this dog ran out in front of the car. It was a collie, and strangely enough our family dog when I was a boy was a collie called 'Joe'. He was named after my Great Grandpa on the maternal side, who ironically worked in a Ford Plant (ironically? WHAT?). Tall man, as tall as that guy Albert in Accounts. You know the survivalist guy. I once did one of those survivalist weekend, and met this couple in the woods who were photographers...'

LEAVE ME ALONE, FELLAH!

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[dcasper70]

The Perpetual Conversationalist

I've worked on a number of projects with this guy, so there's no shortage of conversation material. He seems like a normal guy, likeable, friendly, intelligent, sociable. But get into a one-on-one conversation with him, and consider the next 45 minutes down the tubes. If you happen to have an afternoon to kill, this would be the perfect person to hang out with. Unfortunately, he just doesn't recognize the cues signalling end of convo.

He comes to my cube at 4:45 with a simple question that becomes 45 minutes without coming up for air. Continues along as I shut down the PC, put on my jacket, and head to the elevator. All the while I'm dropping subtle and not so subtle conversation ending possibilities, but still he continues on...thankfully wife calls the cell.

Walking into the rest room, he's walking out, ooooo how uncomfortable. I gotta pee, he's rambling on, others are coming and going.

Making coffee, in he comes. Now trapped in the kitchenette. Good thing there are bagels...

Our department now has an unwritten rule that if any of us get trapped in our cube with this guy for too long, someone will offer a save and call that person's line.
On the surface, this may seem rude, but I assure you it is necessary.

[Fishwhenican]

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The Perpetual Conversationalist


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That one reminds me of this one!

90+ year old lady stuck in the middle of nowhere on a Ranch

My buddy, the Repetitive Story Teller, and I stop in to ask permission to hunt on a piece of land way out in the back country by us. The gal living there is 90+ years old and my buddies brother used to work for her and her husband many years ago when he was a teenager. Lady is very very nice and remembers his brother and starts telling stories about him. My buddy cannot resist telling a few stories and before you know it we are trapped. Thing is this lady is stuck WAY out there and never gets away from the Ranch and does not get many visitors to talk to so as soon as she has the chance to visit with someone she doesn't want to stop because she has no idea how long it will be until the next visitor stops by! Thank goodness she didn't offer us food or we may never have made it out!!

I remembered another one!

The Stroker (as in pulling your "you know what")

In my younger days I sold things. We worked on commission and thus it was quite important to sell as much as you could and every moment was worth money.

Most people you would talk to were generally interested in whatever it was you were selling and were either going to buy or at least give it serious consideration, maybe buying a few days later.

But then there was "The Stroker". This guy had no intention of buying he was just wasting time while the wife was shopping or just killing time or god only knows what but he would just keep asking question after question and wouldn't let you go to wait on real customers so you could make a living. I am generally a pretty nice guy and like to treat people well so it was always hard for me to get rid of these guys. We all (the sales guys) used to look out for each other and as soon as we saw someone trapped we would make an internal phone call and the trapped salesperson could answer it and say the boss was calling and he really had to get going! Sometimes it was the only way we could get away from them.

And that reminds me of another one!!!

The salesman who could sell ice cubes to Eskimos but knew nothing about what he was selling!!

One of the places I worked had one of these guys. We sold computers and this was in the early days of computers. Back with IBM XT's and AT's, that powerhouse Intel 286 processor and MS-DOS!

Anyway, we had a guy selling PC's who knew nothing about them. I mean if it was just handing them a preconfigured box he was all set but as soon as a customer wanted to add anything to it he was lost. If a customer had a technical support question he couldn't help them. I made more sales on splits with him than I think I sold myself. If there was an installation he would have to split with one of us who actually knew something. He did it all the time unless he knew he would be able to just hand them a bunch of boxes and they would never be back.

Here is the kicker. This guy was the #1 salesperson every single month. NO one could come close to him or touch his numbers. He could grab people walking by the computer department on their way to look at furniture and end up selling them a PC. It was amazing to watch! He so dazzled them with bu11shit that they never knew what hit them! He also never ever let a stroker waste his time. It took him about 20 seconds before he knew if the customer was stroking him or if he would end up selling something. If it was a stroker he would have his card turned over to him and just walk away to next next customer! Heaven help you if one of the strokers came in and wanted to buy something after than and didn't want to buy from him. He remembered every single one and if he talked to them for longer than 5 seconds he wanted a cut of that sale!!! Quite a guy!