help a clueless guy about paying for dates

[bkholdem]

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Saying that you'd drop this ho if she doesn't offer to pay sounds really nice, but what if you really want to bang her?

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Only date women you are ALREADY BANGING.

Prior to the bang do casual stuff like meeting up as a group or inviting her to hang at your house and watch a movie (and put forth the moves to bang).

Then you have them locked into being a bangee prior to dating you and you have the control. Learn it, live it, love it!

p.s. You know what it means when I guy asks a girl for her phone number?

It means "I want to bang you but I'm not sure how to go about it, so when I figure it out I will call you".

[KidLifeCrisis]

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Good grief it is official that I am old. When did women start paying for dates? I have been married for 10 yrs so I am way out of practice on dating, but when I was dating, it was just assumed that the guy was paying. I mean if you don't you look like some kind of loser. I am from the midwest so maybe that has something to do with it.

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I think the general mindset on dating has changed over the years too. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] Granted, this isn't true for all people, just apparently the people in this thread. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[bkholdem]

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How about this? I'm not actually sure if this is a good idea, but what if you "accidentally" forgot your wallet or something next date. Ask her to cover and see if she expects you to pay her back. Actually this probably isn't a good idea, but it might give you a hint.

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Once again, no hint is needed. If she's not offering, she's not worth keeping. She knows damn well what she is doing by not offering. Throw her back in pool.

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that brings up another question though. say this girl calls back and says, 'hey i had fun on friday, do you want to go out again?' what do you say? 'no, because you're a freeloading whore'?

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invite her over to your place (movie, couch, alcohol).

[siccjay]

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I've never put myself in a situation where I would have to pay for anything for the woman before I've already had sex with her.

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Winner. Depending on the chick I might say "I'll get this one, you get this next one." Paying for everything is not attractive to chicks anymore. Unless of course that is all she wants from you.

[NASCARFAN925]

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How about this? I'm not actually sure if this is a good idea, but what if you "accidentally" forgot your wallet or something next date. Ask her to cover and see if she expects you to pay her back. Actually this probably isn't a good idea, but it might give you a hint.

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Once again, no hint is needed. If she's not offering, she's not worth keeping. She knows damn well what she is doing by not offering. Throw her back in pool.

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that brings up another question though. say this girl calls back and says, 'hey i had fun on friday, do you want to go out again?' what do you say? 'no, because you're a freeloading whore'?

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invite her over to your place (movie, couch, alcohol).

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good call. i've driven over to her area twice already, and she hasn't come over here yet. if she doesn't want to do that, then that should definitely signal the end of things.

[Felix_Nietzsche]

You do NOT bring it up!
Short Answer: You stop calling them.
Show them a great time and they will WANT to be with you. Pay for the the first three dates and if they don't show signs of being a considerate person, then don't call them anymore... If you have shown them a good time, they will be bummed out that you haven't called them.... If I can't establish a connection with a woman on the first date, then it is not going to happen. Then think of poker. If you miss the flop, then muck your hand....

From what you said, my intuition tells me you are not making a very good connection with the women you have been dating. If you had, they will start fawning over you to be considerate. If you don't establish a connection, then women will either not accept further dates from you ....or.... they will use you as a social life preserver so when then get with their friends who have boyfriends they won't lose face and can claim they are dating... I rememeber I was visiting my sister and her her roomate Amy was crying because some guy stop calling her after two dates. She kept saying, "He was so nice. Waaaaa!" Her other room mates stuck daggers into her saying, "maybe he didn't have any fun with you". (ie you were boring, and Amy is a HOT! Blonde cutie!). I managed not to laugh but it gave me a big insight. Having a sister with hot friends is a big help in learning about women...

If your a poor student, then the chick gets a double penalty for inconsideration...

[IggyWH]

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good call. i've driven over to her area twice already, and she hasn't come over here yet. if she doesn't want to do that, then that should definitely signal the end of things.

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[NASCARFAN925]

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From what you said, my intuition tells me you are not making a very good connection with the women you have been dating.

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this is generally false. like i said this is the first girl who's done anything like this. all the other women i've been out with have offered to pay or at least have said thank you.

actually after the 1st date, this girl was the one who called me back and asked to go out again. maybe she just wanted a free meal. bah, i'm a sucker.

oh and she's the poor student, not me. still though, that's no excuse...

[NASCARFAN925]

haha... well i'll ask her to come over here, watch a dvd or something. if she doesn't want to do that, then i'm definitely not going to 'friendville'... i'll just leave it. she's cute, but not THAT cute.

[Felix_Nietzsche]

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oh and she's the poor student, not me.

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Then don't expect her to pay if she is poor.
Do expect her to extend other considerations of politeness...