So, I witnessed my own home being vandalized...

[Daniel Magix]

OK, I worked a nice 11 hour day on Friday, picked up dinner on my way home from work, and got home just in time to tuck my boy into bed. My wife and I eat dinner and then begin to watch a rented movie, the Black Dahlia. We were both dozing off during the rather slow movie. We decided to turn it off and we both went to sleep.

At 1:10am, I wake up when I hear a car apparently lock up it's tires and screech a bit. My wife wakes up too. But we live on a road where a lot of idiots speed, and there is an s-curve just past our house - so it wasn't that out of the ordinary to hear tires screech. Ten seconds later, however, we hear a voice outside.

So now I think it's time to get up and peek out of our 2nd story window. I open a few of the blinds and peer out into the dark night. I see a car pulled up to my mailbox, with the passenger side door wide open. I also see a guy outside the car doing something with my mailbox. It didn't take me long to realize that whatever he was doing - it was probably not good.

So I spring into action. I grab a pair of pajama-type pants, which are right next to my bed, and throw them on fast. I tell my 8.5 month pregnant wife to call the police, and I bolt downstairs. I flick the front porch light on and whip open the door. I run outside to see the tail lights of the sedan going around the s-curve and driving away.

Now I am outside, 1:11am in the morning, 5º outside, wearing pajama pants, no shirt and no shoes, looking at my mailbox which is now bent almost completely over. It's also missing the door and is cracked slightly. The mailbox is a plastic one, secured onto a wooden post. Because of plowing, I had a steel bracket screwed into the pavement to reinforce it. The bracket kept these idiots from completely knocking it over. I was able to straighten it out immediately, but there was damage done. The wooden post was cracked at the base and will need to be replaced. I happened to have an extra mailbox in my garage, and I replaced the actual mailbox the next day.

After I straightened the mailbox, I went inside and sat by the downstairs window, staring outside for 45 minutes. I eventually decided that these assh*les could F with my mailbox, but they weren't stealing a night of sleep from me too. At about 2am, I finally got back to sleep.

Let me tell you though - this was one of the most infuriating things I have been through. I was SO pissed to have witnessed this F'N little bitch destroying my property, and not been able to get downstairs fast enough to do anything about it. My adrenaline was going crazy. When I first opened the front door, I remembered thinking “damn, I am shirtless and it's freezing outside” - but when I ran outside, I literally felt NO cold at all, even on my bare feet from the frost-covered ground. For several minutes outside, while straightening out the post, I felt NO cold! Then, I think the adrenaline wore off a bit, and like a lightswitch, the cold set in and I was freezing my ass off!

I wish I could have had a better ending for this story. I wish I had made it downstairs before they drove away, and could tell you about the beating I delivered to these f'n assh*les. But I was 10 seconds too late. Maybe it's for the better. Maybe I would have gotten my ass beat by a car full of drunk idiots. Two drunks, I feel confident I could take. Four of them, maybe I lose. Not sure.

To conclude - I called the police the next day (my wife never called like I told her to when I ran outside!), filed a report, and I plan on submitting a claim to my homeowners insurance.