Irritating office yambags

[Duke]

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so I think you should just tell them to knock it off.

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Not really an option.
To put things in perspective, the glopper-clipper TOOK HIS SISTER OUT OF HIS WILL last week because she yelled at him for parking in her spot the week before.

Also, it's not really my place to tell someone they're gross.

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You're in his will? Do you get some benefit from him thinking that you like his behavior?

[27offsuit]

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You're in his will? Do you get some benefit from him thinking that you like his behavior?

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I do, in fact. I control my entire office, from the bosses down, by massaging and managing peoples perceptions of both themselves as well as their perception of me.

If I were to challenge all of his buffoonery it would change the entire dynamic of the office. I totally placate this yambag, and by doing so I control everything.

This is a person who has stopped talking to a past co-worker for the most mundane of reasons. And when I say 'stopped talking to', I mean completely. Like, no words at all for months.

Additionally, this person is by far the most self-absorbed person I have ever come across in my entire life.

It may be higher up in this post, but the most I've done as far as busting his balls is one time while he was clipping his nails at his desk, I asked him if I could use them after he was done because I had to do my toenails.

His reply, in robotic, monotone, deadpan: "Ha. Ha. Very Funny." without once looking up from his nails.

[swede123]

Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, just a moment.
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, just a moment.
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, just a moment.
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, just a moment.
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, just a moment.

[kyleb]

My office partner shoots me with USB Missile Launchers.

So, all y'all can go [censored] yourselves.

[Freakin]

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My office partner shoots me with USB Missile Launchers.

So, all y'all can go [censored] yourselves.

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SUCK IT!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_z-hcJe7QFo

[kkcountry]

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My office partner shoots me with USB Missile Launchers.

So, all y'all can go [censored] yourselves.

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SUCK IT!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_z-hcJe7QFo

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fascinating related clip

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWXPJoUdX2Q

[Dids]

I posted this in BBV4L, but realized it's also a nice addition to this thread:

Guy needs to buy a stamp, asks around. Girl has stamp. He only has 50 cents, she doesn't have change. He gives her the 50.

Comes back later with 29 cents, gives it to her and requests the return of his 50 cents because that "closer" to the price of a stamp.

[prohornblower]

Wow, what an anal-retentive freak. I hope she stink-palmed him.

[RoundGuy]

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Comes back later with 29 cents, gives it to her and requests the return of his 50 cents because that "closer" to the price of a stamp.

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Nice math skills. Does he work in accounting?

[DrewDevil]

I found the description of the yogurt ritual very funny.

Also, the guy clips his fingernails every single day?

People are weird.