I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me

[El_Hombre_Grande]

Innocent goodbye hugs don't last for more than 5-10 seconds. Thus this was not an innocent hug. Also, her habit of getting drunk with guys she has a relationship with is not good. Unless, of course, you don't mind. But given than you pounded this guy, I take it you do mind.

All that being said, the answer to this dilemma isn't going to be solved by beating him up. If she likes to get drunk, and flooze around, there will be other guys who gladly will participate.

Thus you need to get rid of her, or get used to it. You may have anger management issues, and you shouldn't of smashed the guy, but wtf? You've got a girl that you hooked up with right after she did another guy and you heard it and got mad, and now she's getting drunk with guys she has a history with and staying out late? F that. Get some respect for yourself and kick her to the curb.

I mean that last statement figuratively, please don't punch her.

[Kilillan]

yeah, you seriously need to go to an anger management class dude.

wtffff.

[Gonso]

Reading some of these other replies, I kind of suspect that I might be in the minority on this, which surprises me, but...

I'm definitely not accustomed to my gf giving long, familiar hugs to other guys. Multiply this by like 10 when we're talking about an ex. If she were going places with groups of friends that happens to include men, sure that's fine, that's something else.

Given the circumstances, Dude Hugging Your Woman For Too Long was way, way out of line. If you run into an old friend from high school that you haven't seen in 10 years, that's a smile, a quick hug and 4 minutes of catching up before going back to shopping. Note how this differs from a 5 minute drunken embrace with an ex-boyfriend at 2:30 in the [censored] morning.

I don't know if she actually cheated, but I doubt she can be trusted and her judgment obviously sucks. The ex should have known better, and even though this kind of drama is long behind me, you weren't out of line kicking his ass at all. Even if she was legit, he wasn't.

I wouldn't have the patience for this, myself, but if you do I think you need to set some serious boundaries and see if you can get her out of immature high school mode.

Edit: Or, what El Hombre above said, except for maybe beating the guy up, I think that's standard here. A least a punch in the mouth, maybe just shove him into a picnic table... something more than a "WTF?" is required here. Of course, I'm in NJ, we might be a little more testy. It's not designed to solve the problem, this is mostly a punitive measure.

[flipdeadshot22]

[ QUOTE ]
Reading some of these other replies, I kind of suspect that I might be in the minority on this, which surprises me, but...

I'm definitely not accustomed to my gf giving long, familiar hugs to other guys. Multiply this by like 10 when we're talking about an ex. If she were going places with groups of friends that happens to include men, sure that's fine, that's something else.

Given the circumstances, Dude Hugging Your Woman For Too Long was way, way out of line. If you run into an old friend from high school that you haven't seen in 10 years, that's a smile, a quick hug and 4 minutes of catching up before going back to shopping. Note how this differs from a 5 minute drunken embrace with an ex-boyfriend at 2:30 in the [censored] morning.

I don't know if she actually cheated, but I doubt she can be trusted and her judgment obviously sucks. The ex should have known better, and even though this kind of drama is long behind me, you weren't out of line kicking his ass at all. Even if she was legit, he wasn't.

I wouldn't have the patience for this, myself, but if you do I think you need to set some serious boundaries and see if you can get her out of immature high school mode.

Edit: Or, what El Hombre above said, except for maybe beating the guy up, I think that's standard here. A least a punch in the mouth, maybe just shove him into a picnic table... something more than a "WTF?" is required here. Of course, I'm in NJ, we might be a little more testy. It's not designed to solve the problem, this is mostly a punitive measure.

[/ QUOTE ]

Gonso,

Perhaps my response made it seem that I wouldnt take any action against said incident, which couldn't be further from the truth. I just feel that he needs to handle his girl a little better rather than running up and decking the dude without much forethought (and then claiming he's some sort of honorable guy when he tried to have a "fair fight" with someone whos obv wasted and unable to fight). Just my 2

[flipdeadshot22]

and wow, this is wayyyyy too much strat in bbv

[kindergartencop]

this is totally a standard hand and imho a totally standard line. i would not have checked behind on the river though, i would have finished the ass kicking, your gonna be in some [censored] anyways, might as well get in your kicks, ya dig?

[imfatandugly]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Reading some of these other replies, I kind of suspect that I might be in the minority on this, which surprises me, but...

I'm definitely not accustomed to my gf giving long, familiar hugs to other guys. Multiply this by like 10 when we're talking about an ex. If she were going places with groups of friends that happens to include men, sure that's fine, that's something else.

Given the circumstances, Dude Hugging Your Woman For Too Long was way, way out of line. If you run into an old friend from high school that you haven't seen in 10 years, that's a smile, a quick hug and 4 minutes of catching up before going back to shopping. Note how this differs from a 5 minute drunken embrace with an ex-boyfriend at 2:30 in the [censored] morning.

I don't know if she actually cheated, but I doubt she can be trusted and her judgment obviously sucks. The ex should have known better, and even though this kind of drama is long behind me, you weren't out of line kicking his ass at all. Even if she was legit, he wasn't.

I wouldn't have the patience for this, myself, but if you do I think you need to set some serious boundaries and see if you can get her out of immature high school mode.

Edit: Or, what El Hombre above said, except for maybe beating the guy up, I think that's standard here. A least a punch in the mouth, maybe just shove him into a picnic table... something more than a "WTF?" is required here. Of course, I'm in NJ, we might be a little more testy. It's not designed to solve the problem, this is mostly a punitive measure.

[/ QUOTE ]

Gonso,

Perhaps my response made it seem that I wouldnt take any action against said incident, which couldn't be further from the truth. I just feel that he needs to handle his girl a little better rather than running up and decking the dude without much forethought (and then claiming he's some sort of honorable guy when he tried to have a "fair fight" with someone whos obv wasted and unable to fight). Just my 2

[/ QUOTE ]
I didnt mean to say I was trying to be honorable, I just wanted to beat him up some more(because i thought he deserved it) and thought that it would be better if he were standing atleast temporarilly. Also, he wasn't THAT drunk. He was not slurring his speach, he could have fought back.

Also thanks to the guys that are saying that I should have more respect for myself, set up boundries, dump her basically any real advice other than your a psycho.

Believe me theres something really wrong with you if you were in my situation and you did not want to inflict physical pain on this kid.

[The Hag]

anger management therapy and learning trust ftw.

edit to add;
the long hug is obv a bit shady, but you either trust her or you don't = stay with her or don't

[Zagga]

Here's what happened: GF was shaking of fear of going back in and this guy tries to comfort her. GF is absolutely terrified of the OP who probadly has a lot of anger management problems and doesn't dare to say anything. Probadly the GF never loved OP but is so afraid he will do something to her if she isnt his GF and she has nowhere to go becouse she lives there too.

[apefish]

Also, shouldn't this go in full ring?