Ridonkulous Explanations

[cameronbarry]

there's nothing better than playing mid/high stakes poker late night with a bunch of drunk, stupid, stupid, and dumb stupid old men.

no matter the action, no matter the outcome of the hand, there is always the most innane borderline retarded and mathematically and logically contradictory explanation to be had.

i'm starved of these lately as i haven't played live in a long time but there is always the classic % explanation. "was like a 50/50 shot, i either hit it or i won't"

but the all time best, is when one of these retards makes any type of questionable play and is rewarded for it and is instantly the most self-congratulatory sumbitch you ever seen, only for someone else to make that SAME EXACT PLAY moments later and be berated ENDLESSLY by the player who moments ago made the very same play.

[mxp2004]

I got another one in addition to my OP. This was a 1/2 NL game at the Showboat. The UTG player was pretty tight, and he was getting very frustrated by being outdrawn repeatedly on his good hands, even though he was betting them "properly." The beats weren't putting him on tilt, but they were definitely ratcheting up his aggression whenever he held good cards.

On this one hand, UTG started the action preflop by raising to $30. Everyone folded to the BB, and he called immediately.

The flop came down K 2 2, and the BB checked. UTG then pushed in for about $200, and BB called again. "Damn," said the UTG after the quick call and as he tabled his Aces, "I can't believe this happened to me again. Show me your set of Kings."

The BB then turned over his hand: 3 2 suited!

Now the UTG went ballistic and started spewing expletives, dropping about a hundred f-bombs. At the end of the rant, he turned to the BB and demanded "WHY DID YOU CALL $30 WITH 3 2?"

Without missing a beat, the BB said simply, "I had to defend my blind."

[inyourface]

this has to be the best snippit from my posts above - genius!!!

--------

as lame as an ICQ log but I was cracking up cause this guy would post stuff like this after every hand.

#2576050269: GREATMAN222 wins $25.50 from the main pot with a flush, ace high with king kicker.

GREATMAN222: rake payr you thought your 6 high flush could beat greatness

Kaedric: truly GREATMAN222 is a force to be reckoned with!

GREATMAN222: lol

Kaedric: it is no coincidence that you won with pocket kings sir!

Kaedric: it's a metaphor for your greatness

GREATMAN222: i know im great

GREATMAN222: thanks sir you are great as well not as great as me but you are alright

Kaedric: coming from GREATMAN222 that means a lot

GREATMAN222: thanks i dont know what to say

Kaedric: let your greatness speak for itself sir

MASTA__PLAYA: suck
MASTA__PLAYA: mydiick


Oh GREATMAN222, shine on you crazy diamond.

[bills427]

playing 2/5 NL at foxwoods

I straddle my first hand at the table, stacks are relatively deep and these people are absoluteley terrible. ok so here it goes:

UTG, UTG+1, and MP2 fold, everyone else limps in..I am dealt 3s 5d and check ($10 straddle option)

Flop 2d 4s 6h

Chek, Chek, I (500) lead 50, next guy (1200) makes it 150 to go, folds around to SB (1400) who smooths...I shove for 500 total so 350 more into around 400

original limper tanks and smooths my AI

next guy reluctantly overcalls

turn 2c the tanker tanks again and bets 300 into dry side pot (1550 main pot) other guy folds

I turn to him and say "did you fill up" he looks at me really confused and I table my hand, He shows 77, river is a 7 Obv. and he tells me that there is no way he thought I had him OTF bc he had an overpair to the board.

[Vehement]

Jennifer Tilly : I thought you had kings ....


ps. props on mike & mike reference

[gbporkpie]

[ QUOTE ]
I was playin $1/$2 NL in Vegas. Some guy limped utg with a $20 stack. A guy with AA raises to $12 and utg calls. The flop comes 223 and he gets his last $8 in and shows 23s and says "I was hoping he had Aces because that's the type of hand to crack em with."

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL

[apefish]

I once heard a guy insist he was a really good poker player running badly after 1.6 million graphed hands tended to show otherwise.

[JokersAttack]

Playing live.

By the river there is 4 for broadway on the board, any queen making the nuts.

Anyway, there are a few people, 4-5 in the pot, first to act checks, and then a guy bets around 2/3 pot, which wasn't huge. Everyone folds, and someone jokingly says "well I guess we now know who had the queen!".

The guy shakes his head and shows A10, for two pair.

As he shows the two pair he says "I bet to ward off the queen".

I didn't think I heard him right, so I asked him why he bet into a relatively small pot when the only thing that's going to call him, and most likely raise him is a hand that has him beat.

He said "Well, I bet to find out where I'm at. If I get raised at least I know the guy has a queen and I can fold. But if I check, then someone bets, I don't know where I'm at".

Everyone at the table shut up.