Anyone here an older brother to a sister? (long, serious)

[P.Dirty]

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i think you might have me on ignore or something, but whatever.

to me this seems like the wrong play here as having the words 'i love you' on an IM profile is certainly not the time to pull out the "i'm telling mom and dad" card as it just isn't that important, even if she's only 13. the benefit of you being the cool older brother for the next couple of years is much more important when something else does come up (drugs, stripping, the gum disease gingivitis, whatever) that you really feel she shouldn't be doing.

a "be careful" warning probably would have been a lot better.

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lol, I don't have you on ignore.

i like your be careful idea. i wish i would have thought of that.

[Alobar]

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weak dude. You want to get involved with your sisters life and tell her whats what, yet you only talk to her a handful of times over 4 years and dont even want a hug from her the rare times you see her? get a clue

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I know that I have been a "bad brother" over the past couple of years. I don't need to you to tell me this. I have started to speak to her a lot more over the past 7 weeks, and while this might not be enough for you to justify my OP, I had to start somewhere. I obviously care about her or I wouldn't be doing any of this in the first place.

P.

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well you are on the right path then. The thing to do is establish a relationship with her before you start telling her how to live her life (which you shouldnt be doing anyway, but I think you know what I mean). Be interested in what interests her, show her you care, give her advice if she asks for it, but dont tell her what to do, or lay out ultimatims, you should realize it wont work anyway.

[pryor15]

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lol, I don't have you on ignore.

i like your be careful idea. i wish i would have thought of that.

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well, that's good to know.

you may have played your trump card too soon. you don't want to be the brother that over-reacts to stuff, otherwise she may ignore you when it matters.

[RiverTheNuts]

can I change my survivor vote??

[beyeond]

If there were more time to vote in the Survivor, Dirty would've had a great shot of blowing his victory much like the 2004 Yankees by making this post.

[mj12]

Is taking "I love you" off gonna change how she feels on anything about the relationship? This will only further the gap between you and ur sister and probably has 0% chance in achieving any desired effect. So why not try to discuss this with her instead of acting like a dick. ANd yes when everyone here says u were a douche u probably were

[gamblore99]

I think you handled it really [censored]. At the most your actions are going to get her to take down "I love you" off of msn. She isn't going to change how she feels about this boy, and if anything you are only going to encouarge her to rebel and do something stupid, like showing her affection for this boy by giving him a bj. All you have done is put a strain on your already weak relationship and lost her trust. The best thing to do here is to keep her secret, listen to her and give her advice. Explain to her the dangers and the risks of doing stupid stuff, or direct her to someone who can educate her properly. Another alternative may be to just tell your parents that she is asking you some questions about boys.

[fifield]

I am an older brother to FOUR younger sisters! I am close to each of them - we talk or see each other several times every week. I can tell you this much, from my own experience: what you are doing is 1) not going to make you any closer to her (not even if it's morphed into an "I'm doing this because I care about you" gesture) 2) making you look like a hypocrite 3) not giving her enough credit for independent thought (such as being able to determine right from wrong) 4) not giving her room enough to explore her own identity (something like this may set "safe" parameters, but it can also "cramp someone's style" meaning suppress their natural creativity) 5) setting a very negative standard for attention (this very negative incident is the most attention you've given her in *how long?*). So cut it out, for your sake, her sake and the sake of your future relationship. Don't allow yourself or her to live in fear of what could happen in a worst case scenario; pretend like you never saw it, pretend like you never overreacted to it, forget about it, and PLEASE, show some POSITIVE SUPPORT FOR, AND GIVE SOME POSITIVE ATTENTION TO, YOUR SISTER. I guarantee you it will change your life and her life for the better.

Fifield

[Adam Stewart]

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Background: I'm 21, in my final semester at NYU, and i've probably spoken to my sister a handful of times over the past 4 years. My sister is an 8th grader (13 yrs old) in Columbus, Ohio, a "star" on the basketball team, and an honor roll student. When ever I am home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or a weekend over the summer, she always tries to give me a big hug, mostly to annoy me though I think, because she knows that I hate it when she does this. After I came back to NYC after Christmas, my sister IMed me for the first time ever and we've had a few conversations since.

Story: My sister IMs me today saying hi, and I start a small conversation with her. While doing so I look at her AIM profile. There is this very long quote that i'm assuming she got from some lyric or movie that I have not heard of about how she wants to be in love with some guy. And on top of that, there is this boy's name, yesterday's date, and the words "i love you". Now, I'm assuming that the boy passed her a note yesterday that said "check yes or no", and this is the day they have started to 'date'. When I saw this, I asked her to take out the words "i love you" out of her profile, because she obviously doesn't know what the words mean, and she repeatedly told me that she "wasn't going to do anything stupid". Now I was a kid a few years ago, and I remember saying "I'm not going to do anything stupid" to my parents, and then usually ended up doing something stupid. I told her that if she didn't take it out, that I was going to tell mom and dad (who would throw a [censored] fit).

I trust my sister to a certain degree, but at the same time, I feel like it's a little early for her to be saying i love you to a boy, and DEFINATELY too young to be doing anything that some of you pedophiles are thinking about right now.

What would you do if you were in my situation? Or what have you done being in this situation? Should I involve my parents in this (I'm assuming they haven't given her any birds and the bees speech since I never got that speech), or should I let my sister make her own decisions/mistakes in the matter?

And no I won't give you my sister's phone number or post pics.

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*yawn*


boring ...



Adam

[Phil153]

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When ever I am home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or a weekend over the summer, she always tries to give me a big hug, mostly to annoy me though I think, because she knows that I hate it when she does this.

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This breaks my heart. Girls that age crave affection, and if they don't get it from family, especially male family, they look elsewhere...