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#22
07-08-2007, 05:26 PM
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Re: Open relationships
[ QUOTE ]
I'm female and I'm the one that suggested it, because it was either that or nothing at all. He actually readily agreed because he had been in one before and it worked out for him then so why wouldn't it now? He knows that I'm not the jealous type and he certainly isn't or we never would have lasted as long as we've had due to my flirtatious ways and the fact that I take part in a very male world with my playing poker. We don't go into details, but let each other know if and when something happens/will happen, etc etc, as a courtesty and out of respect. Will it end up costing us our relationship? That remains to be seen, but so far we're both happy and it's been working this way well for the past 6-8 months. T [/ QUOTE ] I think its got to be a unique situation though, and that the two of you definitely aren't like most...I mean, you basically said to him "let me hook up with other guys and I'll still hookup with you, otherwise, there's nothing between us". Doesn't sound like a fun spot for him to be in right? I suppose it also matters what you mean by 'relationship'. Are you two in love, but can hookup on the side? Is he as important as any other guy you might want something with? It just seems like it'd be easier to do if it wasn't anything serious, just hooking up, having fun, etc. I can't imagine this working out if there were any serious emotions involved, but thats speaking entirely from my point of view. Whatever the details, it sounds like you're happy, so congrats, thats hard to find. 
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#23
07-08-2007, 06:02 PM
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Re: Open relationships
I personally think it's unrealistic in any relationship where there is love and mutual respect. At the end of the day jealousy is pretty universal. Also there is always the risk that someone falls in love.
I'm not saying it's impossible, but why take the chance if you really care about someone? You're probably better off cheating and hoping to not get caught than you are openly swinging. The latter almost certainly will result in an eventual breakup. If you cheat and conceal it effectively, you might not get caught, you might be able to get over the guilt, and the relationship might be fine. At the end of the day, a great relationship is way too precious to mess around with. If you need to be polygamous simply don't have a serious relationship. They're not for everyone.
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#24
07-08-2007, 08:59 PM
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Re: Open relationships
[ QUOTE ]
I personally think it's unrealistic in any relationship where there is love and mutual respect. At the end of the day jealousy is pretty universal. Also there is always the risk that someone falls in love. I'm not saying it's impossible, but why take the chance if you really care about someone? You're probably better off cheating and hoping to not get caught than you are openly swinging. The latter almost certainly will result in an eventual breakup. If you cheat and conceal it effectively, you might not get caught, you might be able to get over the guilt, and the relationship might be fine. At the end of the day, a great relationship is way too precious to mess around with. If you need to be polygamous simply don't have a serious relationship. They're not for everyone. [/ QUOTE ] I agree. A buddy of mine just recently discussed with a close gf of his, as they were unclear as to where they were at, and he said they agreed on an open relationship. The problem is... is my buddy would never ever go out and hook up with another girl. Which is why I don't understand why he would agree to an open relationship. It just seems like I couldn't respect myself if I knew my girlfriend was out fooling around.
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#25
07-08-2007, 09:06 PM
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Re: Open relationships
[ QUOTE ]
Lion, Why didnt you just sleep with them and forget to tell her about it? She already gave you the green light. Why would she want you to keep her informed? [/ QUOTE ] Uhm... if she listed keeping her informed as a condition, not keeping her informed makes it cheating.
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#26
07-08-2007, 09:06 PM
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Re: Open relationships
[ QUOTE ]
I really don't understand guys wanting open relationships. I know guys are expected to want to F every girl they see, but just because it's expected of you, why do you have to comply? Having an open relationship might have its pluses, but being with one person is so much better. When you do something stupid, you have someone by your side to help you through it. That alone seems to be worth it. I can understand being wary of long term relationships because so many people are morons and don't understand how to have a mature relationship with someone who's not hung up on her ex/not mentally stable/a high school drop out working at wal mart, but if you find a good girl without issues, and work on having a mature relationship, you're set for life. I seriously don't understand men sometimes. [/ QUOTE ] We're expected to want to sleep with every girl we see? First of all, it's not every girl, just every hot girl. And secondly, it's not because we're expected to want it, it's because we like new pussy.
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#27
07-08-2007, 09:10 PM
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Re: Open relationships
[ QUOTE ]
99% of the time it won't work. Relationships are not meant to be open like that. [/ QUOTE ] This is pure BS. Relationships aren't meant to be closed like they are in modern society. We've all been brainwashed into thinking jealous and possessiveness are acceptable behavior though. You're right that it won't usually work though. Most people aren't mature enough to deal with their jealousy sanely.
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#28
07-08-2007, 09:22 PM
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Re: Open relationships
[ QUOTE ]
I personally think it's unrealistic in any relationship where there is love and mutual respect. [/ QUOTE ] Strange. I'd say monogamy is pretty unrealistic in any relationship where there is love and mutual respect. [ QUOTE ] At the end of the day jealousy is pretty universal. [/ QUOTE ] Not only is it not "universal," but it's completely and totally incompatible with love. Love is about the happiness of the person you love while jealousy is pure selfishness. The two are anathema to each other.
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#29
07-08-2007, 10:13 PM
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Re: Open relationships
[ QUOTE ]
I really don't understand guys wanting open relationships. I know guys are expected to want to F every girl they see, but just because it's expected of you, why do you have to comply? Having an open relationship might have its pluses, but being with one person is so much better. When you do something stupid, you have someone by your side to help you through it. That alone seems to be worth it. I can understand being wary of long term relationships because so many people are morons and don't understand how to have a mature relationship with someone who's not hung up on her ex/not mentally stable/a high school drop out working at wal mart, but if you find a good girl without issues, and work on having a mature relationship, you're set for life. I seriously don't understand men sometimes. [/ QUOTE ] lol take your man bashing elsewhere k thx
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#30
07-08-2007, 10:29 PM
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Re: Open relationships
[ QUOTE ]
They have never worked in my experience. My ex-gf had always told me it was ok to sleep with other girls as long as it didnt mean anything and I kept her informed. Guess what happened as soon as I did? Dont do it. It will only lead to heartache ect. [/ QUOTE ] This was my exact experience with my last relationship as well. As soon as I did something out of the relationship it was over. I've seen them work, but they are definitely not for most people.
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