Pregnant GF

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Its entirely her fault and not at all his that he decided to be irresponsible and not wrap it up.


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She was on the pill, AND they add an agreement to abort if a pregnancy happened. This IS entirely her fault. If she hadn't [censored] changed her mind and gone back on their agreement, this wouldn't have ever happened.

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congrats on being a moron.


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Careful, because ...

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it's easy to say certain things and much harder to mean them in many instances - this is one of them. and while the girl's opposition to adoption is difficult to handle, OP still has responsibility here, in one form or another.


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... a promise is still a promise. If breaking a promise were okay just because they were hard to keep, would there ever really be a reason to make one? It being hard is probably the main reason to even have the concept of a promise in the first place, much less to make one.

It's easy to understand what you're saying and sympathize with both your notion and the girl, really, but it's very silly to define the notion of honesty the way you do. You can't fairly castigate a guy for using words and concepts the way they're laid out in the dictionary and commonly understood. Also, calling people name's isn't fairly castigating them either.

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however, if OP will resent the child and the life he has to lead because of this (like he seems to now), staying with the child doesn't necessarily seem to be the best option. i mean, if he can't hack it as a father or a husband - that's no good for everyone involved. again, it's easy to say he will be responsible and not resentful, but meaning it for 5, 10, or 20 years is very difficult.

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This is right on the money. Just because a guy can produce jizz doesn't mean he can be a good father. Therefore it doesn't mean a good childhood is so automatic that fatherhood should always be undertaken regardless of the circumstances and feelings of the father.

Personally, I believe a child should be loved; that's the least we owe it. Others think they're speaking kindly, but when it comes right down to it, are fairly indifferent to the child's fate in these discussions. All they care is that it come out. After that, they leave it to go straight to hell if that's the way it works out, or hope that some sort of magic will intercede and take care of everything. And that they can then go back into a sort of moral sleep and forget about whatever happens next, but feeling pretty darn good about their own morality.

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So basically this guy is [censored] over because "she's TWENTY years old" and has no idea what she wants. Great.

Double standards are [censored].

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Mother Nature doesn't care about double standards.

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We aren't her victims, though. Ascribing personal choice to forces of nature is an easy alternative to really thinking or feeling, but it turns us into little more than monkeys, and on a practical basis, nothing more at all.

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Its entirely her fault and not at all his that he decided to be irresponsible and not wrap it up.


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She was on the pill, AND they add an agreement to abort if a pregnancy happened. This IS entirely her fault. If she hadn't [censored] changed her mind and gone back on their agreement, this wouldn't have ever happened.

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LOL. Pretty sure any legal attempt to argue that there was an agreement or verbal contract would get laughed out of the room. I don't see an offer, acceptance, or consideration and what proof of this so-called "agreement" is there except the OP's word? He could very well have been exaggerating in his panic attack.

This thread sure has been helpful in identifying the immature slimeballs out there...

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Name-calling is my first indicator.

Careful not to reap as ye sow.

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She gets to make all the choices (nobody responded to my gender-reversed hypothetical,


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I think I did.

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I have no idea what I would have done in OP's situation. In that situation now, I'd definitely accept her decision, but there are a lot of things that are different. I'm older, and my girlfriend has explicitly told me that if she were to get pregnant now she would probably want the baby, which really makes things vastly different, in my opinion.


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It's interesting how nearly impossible it can be to have legitimate discussion on issues like these. All the name-slinging presumptions imply that some things simply can't be discussed among reasonable people at all. Actually it's quite possible to discuss options one might or might not take in real life, and to play around with ideas freely. It's well within the scope of being a regular joe at a keyboard. I thought that's what discussions were really supposed to be for. Especially on forums.

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Wow tough spot OP....you gotta talk this through with ur gf. Can she be convinced to put the child for adoption? My 2c is that this is best . .what you've got to realise is that the most important thing in this whole [censored] situation is that the kid gets brought up right.

Oh yeah forget about all this "it's not fair, she changed her mind" bs. If your situation is "unfair" think about how "unfair" your child's situation is going to be if you run away. If ur gf keeps the kid then you have to be there as a parent. Running is totally not an option.

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Yes it is, though it might not be the best one.

However, would having a father around who resents you be the best one? As a stepkid whose dad pretty much hated him and showed it almost every single damn day, I'm not sure it is. I'd really rather have had someone phoning in the money.

Besides, the option of abortion might not be locked off, however unlikely. It's too early for poppa to fold all his cards.

[gumpzilla]

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She gets to make all the choices (nobody responded to my gender-reversed hypothetical,


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I think I did.

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Ahh, yes, I had two. The second one, I think - would people rail on her for being irresponsible and not willing to live with the consequences of her actions here if she has to raise the kid alone? - was the one you addressed. I meant more "what if the guy wants to keep the baby and the woman still wants an abortion?" It sure made Michael Corleone mad when that happened.

[Reef]

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Now that she decided she wants it, she is giving up drinking, but will still continue to smoke daily. She has a friend who told us that pot isnt bad for a fetus (WTF?????).

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what a [censored] mother

and her friend is a retard

[Butso]

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Yes it is, though it might not be the best one.

However, would having a father around who resents you be the best one? As a stepkid whose dad pretty much hated him and showed it almost every single damn day, I'm not sure it is. I'd really rather have had someone phoning in the money.

Besides, the option of abortion might not be locked off, however unlikely. It's too early for poppa to fold all his cards.

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If OP runs then its going to be pretty darn obvious to his kid that their father didn't care too much for him/her anyway. Running is definitely the worst thing OP can do

[Edge34]

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Yes it is, though it might not be the best one.

However, would having a father around who resents you be the best one? As a stepkid whose dad pretty much hated him and showed it almost every single damn day, I'm not sure it is. I'd really rather have had someone phoning in the money.

Besides, the option of abortion might not be locked off, however unlikely. It's too early for poppa to fold all his cards.

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If OP runs then its going to be pretty darn obvious to his kid that their father didn't care too much for him/her anyway. Running is definitely the worst thing OP can do

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Nah, his stellar life as a mediocre rounder living in a hick town (as he puts it) is really about as sweet as I could imagine it.

Screw thinking about the kid or the girl he claimed to love and was planning on marrying anyways. As a matter of fact, I think the girl going back on her "promise" to abort is a lot worse than him going back on his word that he actually loved her. Why? Because I'm guessing if this makes him want to split, he never actually loved her in the first place. She'll probably be better off without him. (Interesting, I just supported him splitting for the good of the woman he doesn't love and the child he already resents.)

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I hooked up with this chick thursday night, we were pretty drunk, and geeked out, I got in w/o condom, after I finally actually get it all the way up after a minute or so, I threw on a condom. This post has me all paranoid that, in that minute or so I completely screwed myself.