Emotional Affairs

[daveT]

The fact that you are faced with so many choices makes the end result premeditated, especially if you know what it is going to be. A fat person never stopped eating. I think that there was about 150 individual reasons to stop between 150 pounds and 300 pounds. Even you wrote "one hundred bad choices later...."

Sadly, it is these attitudes make relating to women harder. I finally had the epiphomy of what the phrase "sexually threatening" means. I used to always shake my head at this, but after reading some of the stuff on this thread, it is no wonder I have to face unwonted aggression from women. Certain men's lack of emotional control causes them to assume that I have no control. They emotionally see me as a threat, and that effects me.

[Blarg]

It was also a jokey over-exaggeration, and by any fair reading it clearly wasn't anything remotely like a characterization of you. You're really reaching, and, it seems, suddenly spoiling for a fight or something. Do you suspect I have really uncovered information about all that facing punching of your mom you used to do?

[bogey1]

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It was also a jokey over-exaggeration, and by any fair reading it clearly wasn't anything remotely like a characterization of you. You're really reaching, and, it seems, suddenly spoiling for a fight or something. Do you suspect I have really uncovered information about all that facing punching of your mom you used to do?

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Context is tough to determine. There wasn't anything in your post that I can look to to see it was meant in a lighter tone than any of your other posts.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
The fact that you are faced with so many choices makes the end result premeditated, especially if you know what it is going to be. A fat person never stopped eating. I think that there was about 150 individual reasons to stop between 150 pounds and 300 pounds. Even you wrote "one hundred bad choices later...."

Sadly, it is these attitudes make relating to women harder. I finally had the epiphomy of what the phrase "sexually threatening" means. I used to always shake my head at this, but after reading some of the stuff on this thread, it is no wonder I have to face unwonted aggression from women. Certain men's lack of emotional control causes them to assume that I have no control. They emotionally see me as a threat, and that effects me.

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Yeah, it does. I've often wondered how weird it must be for women to have to deal with all manner of male sexual aggression on a daily basis, and still try not to have a hostile or frightened attitude about it that gets applied equally to each additional man they bump into.

Not all of them succeed, but then again, it at least appears that not all of them bother ...

[bogey1]

[ QUOTE ]
The fact that you are faced with so many choices makes the end result premeditated, especially if you know what it is going to be. A fat person never stopped eating. I think that there was about 150 individual reasons to stop between 150 pounds and 300 pounds.

[/ QUOTE ]

We might have a terminology difference on premeditated. I assume it means that before you started you had an end already in mind.

Do you think the 300 lb guy really had 300 lbs in mind when he gained his first 5 lbs as a freshman in college?

Similarly, do you think most cheaters really had that as the goal when the walked out the door that morning?

I'm not excusing it or saying it couldn't be helped or have been stopped somewhere along the line. I'm just saying you don't always plan where you end up.

[daveT]

I will allow that obesity is not as premeditated as cheating.

Voluntarily going to a private area with a woman you know you want is premeditated. You would have been dreaming of this situation for several nights.

[bogey1]

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I will allow that obesity is not as premeditated as cheating.

Voluntarily going to a private area with a woman you know you want is premeditated. You would have been dreaming of this situation for several nights.

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Makes sense. I can envision circumstances (hell, been in them) where it's not quite that cut and dried, but you're never going to end up naked in bed without some fore thought involved.

As regards the original subject of an "emotional affair", that's much easier to end up in without premeditation. Take my case. I played a team sport, met my wife through it. A large group of us would hang out afterwards and talk, drink beer, and eat off the cheap late night menu. Over several months, we got really close. We each just set out to enjoy a drop in sport and commeraderie, not to become emotionally involved. And even if we chose to do nothing about our feelings, we were going to continue to see each other frequently simply because we now had a group of friends in common and often did things together.

[tarheeljks]

davet, i think you misunderstood my meaning about this:

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the fact that there is no clear place to draw a line is what bothers me.

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i think you took this out of context. i share your sentiments about exhibiting self control; i made a post expressing this somewhere.

[daveT]

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davet, i think you misunderstood my meaning about this:

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the fact that there is no clear place to draw a line is what bothers me.

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i think you took this out of context. i share your sentiments about exhibiting self control; i made a post expressing this somewhere.

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I realized what I did, and I meant to put it in my post that I did not mean to use your quote as a firm example, but as a jumping off point for my point. I understood the context of your quote, and I did not mean to add damage to this thread. I felt the quote fit, but not the intention of it.

[katyseagull]

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lol, katy totally has me on Ignore this user.

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I AM NOT IGNORING YOU. WHY DO YOU THINK THAT?
Is this part of our emotional thing?