Infidelity

[slim]

i know that, that's why i said "not a far stretch".

My point was just that something needs to be done to deter people.

[skunkworks]

[ QUOTE ]
i know that, that's why i said "not a far stretch".

My point was just that something needs to be done to deter people.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, it's called society's disapproval.

[slim]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i know that, that's why i said "not a far stretch".

My point was just that something needs to be done to deter people.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yeah, it's called society's disapproval.

[/ QUOTE ]

obv not working with rate of divorce today

[geormiet]

This is besides the point of your post and I'm asking pretty much only out of my own curiosity - don't you feel any relief or excitement of your own at the prospects of being single after such a long time? Did you ever have thoughts or fantasies of infidelity during your marriage?

Or does the responsibility you feel towards your children overshadow that completely?

[tuq]

Ah this thread. slim, have you come to your senses yet about that infidelity addiction jibba-jabba?

[skunkworks]

Infidelity can cause divorce, but higher rates of divorce doesn't prove that there's a problem with infidelity. Causation != correlation etc

What is the point of criminalizing it? That law would not magically save broken marriages.

[bisonbison]

My point was just that something needs to be done to deter people.

No, your point is that something needs to be done to deter people more. Which is ridiculous.

Plenty is already done to deter adultery. It's done in healthy relationships, where the mutual support, understanding and loving interest of well-matched partners offer hope in times of loneliness and hopelessness, joy in good times and physical care throughout.

That's the only meaningful brake on adultery. That's how healthy couples endure despite years and decades of change.

It's not a sure thing. Sometimes people who love their partners stray. Some loving relationships endure it and recover because they have a loving base and both partners cherish each other. Some loving relationships are undone because the pain or loss of trust is too large to get over the mistake.

But your wife didn't make a mistake. She abandoned an empty, loveless relationship. She did it in a way that caused you a lot of unnecessary pain, but she did it because she wanted out. She still does.

You and your wife are not capable of sustaining a marriage.
You and your wife are not capable of maintaining a loving relationship.
You and your wife are not capable of recovering from this.

You ain't gonna get her back, and if you do, it will be some terrible monkey's paw wife that will not just break your heart but destroy your soul.

[bisonbison]

Peter666, I missed this the first time around. You say:

I think you will feel much better when you simply realize that your wife is a bad person who made deliberately bad choices, and you are better off without her. I think your error was letting your marriage run into auto-pilot by not being enough of a challenge for her.

If only he'd challenged her more he could still be married to a bad person who he's better off without.

Brilliant.

[slim]

[ QUOTE ]
My point was just that something needs to be done to deter people.

No, your point is that something needs to be done to deter people more. Which is ridiculous.

Plenty is already done to deter adultery. It's done in healthy relationships, where the mutual support, understanding and loving interest of well-matched partners offer hope in times of loneliness and hopelessness, joy in good times and physical care throughout.

That's the only meaningful brake on adultery. That's how healthy couples endure despite years and decades of change.

It's not a sure thing. Sometimes people who love their partners stray. Some loving relationships endure it and recover because they have a loving base and both partners cherish each other. Some loving relationships are undone because the pain or loss of trust is too large to get over the mistake.

But your wife didn't make a mistake. She abandoned an empty, loveless relationship. She did it in a way that caused you a lot of unnecessary pain, but she did it because she wanted out. She still does.

You and your wife are not capable of sustaining a marriage.
You and your wife are not capable of maintaining a loving relationship.
You and your wife are not capable of recovering from this.

You ain't gonna get her back, and if you do, it will be some terrible monkey's paw wife that will not just break your heart but destroy your soul.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with pretty much everything you wrote.

From what I gather, am I right in assuming that you feel that 2 people have to be well matched for a successful relationship? In other words, if my wife never dis any housework and never appreciated me for all the work I did AND is the type of person who can cheat on their husband, is there someone out there who will have a healthy relationship with her if she maintains those "qualities"?

[leehrat]

OP, is your wife caucasian?