BBV Anonymous Confessions

[BarryLyndon]

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I actually had a related story....threw a party at my house, and these random sloots from jersey came to my house. We're out back, drinking and chilling and one of them (the fatty fat fat 220 pound-ish one) brings up how she was failing physics in HS and had to sleep with her teacher for a grade.

Stark: What grade did you get?

Fatso: C+

Stark: A C+? Wtf

Fatso: At least its above average!

head asplode

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Very, very nice. "A"

[AJFenix]

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I was just a dumb kid over in Wroclaw

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that sounds like an 80s Communist super villain

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lol

My dad is actually in Polish encyclopedias for helping to get them out. They were the reason the country was in that state, and why its still behind in certain areas [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] I was also more of a superhero over there, I was known as the "American" which to them meant I must have money, and I had chicks all over me, but unfortunately I didn't know what to do with my pen1s yet so that was worthless, and I probably made fun of them more than anything (we all did, called one a giraffe for obv reasons, one was called "crooked" because of her face which was pretty normal, one was "flat" because she had no breasts, she was cute but no one liked her, one was "bigtits" which was pretty gd lol, she had huge naturals and other chicks were jealous, also some of those names sound a lot better/make a lot more sense in Polish). I'd buy kids ice cream and drinks, and I actually ran into a kid wearing some clothes I had donated to the church.

[wardkaew]

S0meGuy [censored] up this thread. Seriously impossible to read now! plz edit

[Ghazban]

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S0meGuy [censored] up this thread. Seriously impossible to read now! plz remove the crappy pic that is both too large and too unpleasant to look at

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[lowstakesfish]

am i like, the only person that actually laughed at someone emailing evenkeal's thread to the dean of engineering?

[adanthar]

Sometimes I wonder why they call them 'scholarships'

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Back in high school there was a guy who was an
incredible basketball player. He had an offer and was
going to be on scholarship at Georgia Tech, assuming
he graduated and had the required classes and stuff.
He was poor and very stupid. His grades were
always awful and he always did just enough to pass the
necessary classes to advance.

Anyway, my dad owned a
small deli that I would run by myself after school
from around 4-7 since all I did was make
salads/sandwiches/etc and do cash register. It was a
very chill place. So one day, I'm working and the restaurant was empty.
Then a guy with a black sweatsuit, pantyhose, and
skimask runs in, takes out a gun and says "clean out
the cash register, [insert my name]." Well I
immediately recognized it as mr. basketball from
school by his size and voice and decided to just play
along and not get shot and pretend to not know who he
was. I put all the bills (about $160 worth) into a
large salad bowl and handed it to him. He then SHOT
ONE OF OUR REFRIGERATORS ON ACCIDENT on his way out,
which ended up costing us much more than his pathetic
robbery.

Well the police were really never able to do anything
about it. This was around May of mine and his senior
year. Anyway, a couple weeks later before exams, I
made a plan to [censored] up his algebra final. I was the
teacher's assistant for 7th period algebra1. Mr
basketball had this class 1st period. Since I was the
assistant, the teacher and I had talked about most of
his students, including how mr. basketball needed this
class as his 3rd math credit to graduate and needed at
least a 65 on his final. so on the last day of exams,
the regular teacher was absent that day and the
librarian was subbing, which basically gave me free
reign. I was to get all the exams taken the last few
days and put them in a folder in the regular teacher's
mailbox in the main office.

Anyway, I fished out mr. basketball's test and screwed
up most of his answers (it was multiple choice, so
very easy) and returned it to the folder of completed
tests.

Long story short, he ended up getting like a 35 and
failing that semester. there were no math summer
school classes and mr. basketball had to stay in high
school another year, taking the minimum of 4 classes.
He lost his scholarship agreement with Georgia Tech
and ended up going to a junior college and dropping
out after getting injured. It's been 6 years since
that and he's still living with his grandmother and
now works at Hardee's (fast food place.) I hope he
gets held up at the drive-thru. He never had any clue
that I [censored] up his test or that I knew he had me at
gunpoint.

Cliff Notes: An extremely talented dumb ass basketball
player with a promising scholarship at Georgia Tech
held up my dad's store at gunpoint while I was
working, so I changed a lot of answers on his algrebra
final and made him fail this extremely important
test/class and lose his scholarship. as a result, he
continued to fail at life afterwards and is now ~24
and lives with his grandmother and is very poor and
works at Hardees.

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[MasterLJ]

I am curious as to how sure ^^^ was that the guy who held them up was Mr. Basketball. He's pretty dumb to have mentioned your name.

[adanthar]

There are *so many* ways to be a failure with women

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Brag : I'm happily married to my highschool sweetheart
Beat : I'm in my 40s and have only slept with 3 women.
Variance : I cheated on my wife one time, with horrific results

Yes, my first love and I got married in our 20s. We were both virgins in highschool when we started dating. We didn't start having full sex until college. A few times we "swapped" with a good couple friend who enjoyed the "lifestyle", so that was girl #2, but soon after we married my wife didn't want to do that anymore.

10 years later I'm in my 30s, and I met this girl online playing games. We were flirting online, and decided to meet at a park. She was also married (not happily) and had young children as did I at the time. Things clicked and next thing I know I'm having wonderful sex with this MILF, which was awesome! Girl #3 led to a 5 month fling where we got together many times for hot hot sex. It was incredibly exciting.

Then one night she got home late, her husband had been getting suspicious.. Turns out he was suffering from depression.. One thing led to another and he shot her in the head, then he killed himself, leaving their children orphaned. I was devastated!! I went to the funeral but that was a mistake cause someone found out who I was and blamed me for the whole tragedy. I was so distraught that I confessed to my wife, who had no idea any of this was going on.. naturally she was horrified to find out I had been cheating on her and might have been killed too if the husband ever found me.. Several years of therapy helped keep our marriage together.

So now I'm in my 40s, getting old, and would love to have sex with at least one more woman before I die.. but the thought of putting my family thru another tragedy is one I can't bear to repeat. But at least I'm happily married to a wonderful woman and we have a great sex life.

I just wish my friend hadn't been murdered...

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[adanthar]

I was kinda hoping for death by fire, but that'll have to do

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I used to date a girl who was molested by an older memeber of her family when she was very young. Nobody in her family knew, and she wanted it to remain that way. One day she asks me to go to a family function and i agree. She adds "He will be there. are you gonna be ok with that?" She told me that he was old and basically functionless at this point in time. He was confined to a wheelchair and could barely talk. I told her i could handle it.

It was a picnic type deal in the park across the street from the house. 15-20 of her family members were there, all having a good time. It was sunny and hot and a nice day to be outside. Everything was progressing fine until i volunteer to go back to the house to grab a photo album and another case of soda. So i go back and when i get there the guy is just sitting by himself in front of the TV.

I walked past him and over to the kitchen table to grab the photo album that we were looking at earlier. I had planned to ignore him as i did before, but when i actually got there reality hit. I said something casual, knowing damn well he wasn't going to respond, but hoping he would. He just sat there. My temper flared. I put his little monitor thing face down on a blanket and wheeled him back into the bedroom. I began verbally assaulting him telling him what i thought of him and how he was going to rot in hell for what he did. I picked up a newspaper off the nightstand and started beating him over the head with it. He could not defend himself and was just grumbling. I hit him over the head about 15 or 20 times.

I put the paper back down and started pushing him back out to the living room. My girlfriend walked in the front door and saw me wheeling him out from the hall. She immediately froze. So did i. We stared blankly at each other for a few seconds in total silence. She knew what happened. I put him back in front of the tv and fixed the monitor. I brought the pictures and soda back out to the party and told the family that she wasn't feeling well and that we were leaving. Our entire car ride home was silent. We never spoke a word about that day, ever.

Also, a big [censored] YOU to all you inconsiderates who make rape and molestation jokes. This stuff destroys people's lives. Be lucky you're not one of them.

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[adanthar]

My room is still messed up, and I know why, (Why man?) 'cuz I got high, because I got high, because I got high

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High school, came home from a night of drinking, turned on Night Court and lit a joint. Shook out the match, tossed it in the closet and relaxed. Room smelled of smoke, uh-oh, open a window. 5 minutes later, I notice a 2 foot layer of smoke covering the ceiling. Time to figure out what's going on. Oh...closet fire.

Grab mom, she doesn't believe me, as I'm so high I am kinda chill about the whole thing. Fire can't be stomped out. Time to flee and panic, half of the house burns down.

Outside, the neigbors have gathered. Firemen questioning me...were you smoking? Playing with matches? Me in full denial mode, plenty of practice with that. It must be the wiring, I explained, knowing that the only wire in the closet was a cable wire. Hoping, really, that everything was so torched that my story would fly.

Fire investigators all go in, and return. Not smiling. Grillinhg me "You weren't playing with matches?" Mom: "You weren't smoking?" Me: Every swear that I knew," I'm telling the gods honest truth."

Lead investigator looking at me with disdain and, luckily, just the slightest tad of compassion..."It must have been spontaneous combustion."

That's how it went down in the police and insurance reports, so I suppose spontaneous combustion must really have been what it was.

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