Pregnant GF

[Bigfoot]

I don't know if this has been mentioend already (I read about half the responses in the thread), but this needs to be said. If the thought of having a child is the last thing you want right now then you should take precautions.

1. Any casual hook-up regardless of how well you know her - wear a condom (even if she's on BC)
2. In any long term relationship ALWAYS use a condom if the girl doesnt have anything to lose by becoming pregnant. Regardless of if she's on BC and takes it regularly.

The second point is important. From the sounds of it OP is dating a girl who really doesn't necessarily have high aspirations or long term goals with her life. Theres a huge difference between a girl like this and a girl who wants to become or doctor or lawyer or something. If you're having unprotected sex with a girl with nothing to lose you're putting yourself in a situation where you can end up behind the 8 ball. You have no leverage in a situation where you have a lot to lose and the girl has nothing.

It's important to realize this because from an evolutionary/biological standpoint a woman is meant to reproduce. Even if she thinks at the tme being she'll do this or that, if she's ever put in the situation other influences take over and she becomes far less rational. When you have no leverage, you can only plead your case. About how it'll affect YOUR life and how YOU aren't ready and how YOU don't want the child. This won't sway her. You need to be able to talk about how a baby would negatively affect her future and goals.

Unfortunately for OP it sounds like you're screwed. Small town minds are hard to overcome. It's likely she'll ignore whatever she said earlier and fall back onto what's familiar. She grew up and was raised in a community where pregnancy at a young age was frequent and probably encouraged. That's the type of thing you can't really overcome.

[Blarg]

Very good post. Agreed that if you don't want a child, wear a rubber whether someone is taking birth control (or says she is) or not. There are too many ways and opportunities for things to go bad, either accidentally or on purpose.

[Bill Murphy]

[ QUOTE ]
We have a very healthy, open relationship. Very good communication. We almost always know how the other is feeling/thinking.



[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[StevieG]

[ QUOTE ]
Congratulations Daddy!

Seriously, you played but thought there's never a chance you're gonna pay?

Stop thinking in any way she's betrayed you by following her natural instincts and the foundation she's grown up with, or wishing the kid somehow won't make it. Grow up.

Go read some sites about the emotional aftermath of abortion even when women were 100% that it's what they wanted. It's brutal.

While I understand this isn't the map you've laid out for yourself, these are the cards you've been dealt. That's life.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm glad you're not my mother.

Edit

OK, so I just found the later post where you show some empathy and make an effort at support.

[ QUOTE ]
P.S. It might also help to think in these terms. This is the future that you were looking forward to a month ago. You were thinking engagement followed by marriage and kids. It's just happened sooner than you planned. Don't panic. You can handle this. At least you're not 18 and a senior in high school.

[/ QUOTE ]

But I still think the original remarks showed a surprising harshness and lack of any ability to look at it from the OP's perspective.

[leehrat]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Congratulations Daddy!

Seriously, you played but thought there's never a chance you're gonna pay?

Stop thinking in any way she's betrayed you by following her natural instincts and the foundation she's grown up with, or wishing the kid somehow won't make it. Grow up.

Go read some sites about the emotional aftermath of abortion even when women were 100% that it's what they wanted. It's brutal.

While I understand this isn't the map you've laid out for yourself, these are the cards you've been dealt. That's life.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm glad you're not my mother.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Homer]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Congratulations Daddy!

Seriously, you played but thought there's never a chance you're gonna pay?

Stop thinking in any way she's betrayed you by following her natural instincts and the foundation she's grown up with, or wishing the kid somehow won't make it. Grow up.

Go read some sites about the emotional aftermath of abortion even when women were 100% that it's what they wanted. It's brutal.

While I understand this isn't the map you've laid out for yourself, these are the cards you've been dealt. That's life.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm glad you're not my mother.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, she must be a horrible mother for telling him to deal with reality. Some of you little bastards need to grow up.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
We have a very healthy, open relationship. Very good communication. We almost always know how the other is feeling/thinking.



[/ QUOTE ]

This thread definitely suggests the possibility of: maybe not.
[img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

[StevieG]

[ QUOTE ]
But then again french guys are known to be good with women

[/ QUOTE ]

They didn't invent the bidet for nothing.

[StevieG]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I'm glad you're not my mother.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, she must be a horrible mother for telling him to deal with reality. Some of you little bastards need to grow up.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd like to think parental advice can go beyond "sucks to be you," which was pretty much all the original response was.

As mentioned in the edit, entertainme does show more empathy in the later posts.

[Homer]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I'm glad you're not my mother.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, she must be a horrible mother for telling him to deal with reality. Some of you little bastards need to grow up.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd like to think parental advice can go beyond "sucks to be you," which was pretty much all the original response was.

As mentioned in the edit, entertainme does show more empathy in the later posts.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't see her original response as unsympathetic, just realistic and to the point. Regardless, I'm not sure that receiving sympathy right now is what OP needs. He needs to stop bemoaning the situation, realize there is a kid coming regardless of what he wants, and decide what he is going to do about it.