Some Stuff About PUA (very long)

[traz]

Social conditioning plays a gigantic role in male-female dynamics, but the core principles still hold true for little village girl and for Beverly Hills babe.

Social conditioning is very strong, but it's our job to show that many social norms are ridiculously silly.

[tomdemaine]

Incidentally has anyone seen the pickup artist on VH1? It's a reality show starring mystery apparently.

[Pyromaniac]

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and is eagerly awaiting the most important event in her life, planning an expensive wedding!

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this part seems pretty accurate. like, she'll tell you that.

Bonus points for divorce & alcohol/drug problems in the family.

[Pyromaniac]

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The others turned out to be in LTRs.

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happily so?

[tpir]

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I'm not sure, and perhaps I don't own the nuance to sniff it out entirely...but somewhere underlying this thread is a hidden assumption that the average human being isn't a half-chimp, half-zombie spiritual caricature with worms for brains and a cheap musty fear rotting out his heart.

But he is! And she is!

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ftw

[Pyromaniac]

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Än honest question to the OP...How do you think about women's magazines like Cosmo that have articles each month on "how to get him to commit" and the likes?

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Or, alternately, how do you feel about magazines that have articles each month about how to [censored]?

Here's this month's table of contents cover stories for Cosmo:

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Cover Stories
Erotic Sex - 7 Boundary-Pushing Moves All Men Secretly Crave (and You'll Get Off On Too)


16 Sexy New Hairstyles


50 Ways to Be Closer to Him!


Guys Uncensored - Their Get-Naked Fears Will Make You Laugh Out Loud


Why He Just Won't Propose


True-Crime Story - Her Boyfriend Killed Her for Breaking Up with Him


SEX EXTRAS
6 Skills Sex Goddesses Master

What to Do When Sex Hurts

Weird Sex Questions We're Asked



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[tpir]

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Dude I totally have an imperishable soul and everything.

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Don't you actually believe this though?

I told you a long time ago this was part of your problem, and you laughed at me. I still stand by my statement. You would be better off if you dropped your "the Universe has a magical plan just for Me" bit. I think it causes you to put undue mental pressure on yourself. (And it's kind of embarrassing, especially for someone who thinks they are as smart as you do.)

If you want to believe you are destined to make babies and you will be a "failure" if you don't, you are free too, but that still makes you crazy. Yeah yeah, I know, THE PLAN WILL BE REVEALED. lol.

[Edited to be less mean in some parts and more mean in others.]

[tpir]

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I don't really see why you or I should be influenced the many-times repeated opinions of one guy who's never met me, yet has made it his personal mission to prove to the world that I'm John Wayne Gacy or something.

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One guy? I dunno man. Take a quick straw poll of people who read your MySpace profile. The combo of weird picture, too much information and trying too hard certainly didn't make "perfectly sane" jump to the front of my mind.

(I admit, I am biased though--I think you are simply being a lazy pu$$y most of the time.)

[Sponger.]

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take two girls. one grew up in a little village and lived in poverty. she lives in a buddhist culture and as she has grown up these principles have played a big role in the way she acts and thinks. Her parents work 12 hours a day to send her to go to university in the city where she also worked 30 hours a week while going to school full time. she watches about 2 hours of television per week.

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the other girl grew up in American suburbia. the closest she came to working was making her bed once a week. her parents dragged her to church every now to learn about going to hell. she spent plenty of time watching television which played a big role in the way she acts and thinks. she loves gossiping with her friends and is eagerly awaiting the most important event in her life, planning an expensive wedding!

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[ChipWrecked]

I suppose I come down on the fence on this issue (I'm married so my opinion is academic anyway).

PUA stuff may seem shallow but it's like any other tool, it depends on how it's used.

There are a lot of fish in the sea, you need to shuck a lot of oysters to find a pearl and so on. If PUA techniques help a guy get over what I believe is the biggest issue - fear of rejection - then study it, practice it, go forth and conquer.

The objective being that you learn how to break down these self-limiting barriers so that when you do run across the woman you really want, you won't let her slip away because you were afraid to approach her.

I was never a ladykiller myself. I found when I was traveling a lot for work that the LFS approach worked well for me. I would plant myself at a hotel bar, just hang out and not expect anything, lo and behold a number of times women approached me. One contact actually turned into a 'relationship' in which if I were in town, I could call her up and see if she wanted to go to dinner. We had some good times together then went our separate ways.

Another thing that I haven't seen mentioned which worked well for me, regarding salesmanship, is the Dale Carnegie approach. In a nutshell, people like to talk about themselves. If you want to start a good conversation with someone, ask her a leading question about herself. Listen closely for cues that lead to another question. Next thing you know, you are one of the best conversationalists she ever met, and all you did was get her talking about herself.

The challenge, of course, is that you have to actually listen. IMO if you sit there with glazed eyes hearing incoherent noise like a Charlie Brown teacher, the technique won't work so well.