Pregnant GF

[Quanah Parker]

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
"I don't want to have kids either"
is right up there with

"The mercedes is paid for"
"I won't come in your mouth"
"I'm with the government and I'm here to help"

[/ QUOTE ]

Yup. Welcome to the real world.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I felt all the same feelings you did when I found out my GF was pregnant. There was so much I hadn't done that I wanted to, then I looked at my son for the first time, and I realized that there is nothing better than spending time with your kids.

It's a confusing time, my GF got pregnant when we were both 18, we got married, and it's been very good for the last almost 9 years. IF you want to talk more privately I'll be more than willing to chat either on Yahoo messenger, PM's here, or I'll give you my phone number.

Your concerns are valid, but understand that you helped bring a child into this world, wether you planned to or not, and now you will have a responsibility to that child. Not just a financial responsibility, but a responsibility to love, and help care for, and set a good example for, and be a dad to. Whatever you decide, focus your energy into making sure your kid has the best life possible, do not let things get acrimonious with your GF (if you break up with her) and make sure your kid knows that he/she is #1 in your life.

Your GF is really emotional right now, and it wsounds like her family has gotten her to decide to have/keep the baby. Have you guys considered an adoption idea, where a family member/friend adopts the baby, so she can finish school, a family friend of mine did that (open adoption so she can see the kid, the kid thinks she is it's aunt) and was very happy with the decision.

[/ QUOTE ]

Most parents who offer their opinions say the same kind of thing. The child is the best thing that could ever happen to them, etc etc.


[/ QUOTE ]

For many of them, to say the least, it's either that or admit they were stupid as hell and now are totally screwed. Which sounds more reassuring to say to either yourself or family, friends, and strangers? Saying the kid is the best thing ever is pretty standard whether you believe it or not. What else would you say?

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
OP,

I have no idea what I'd do in your situation. I'm not trying to sound judgemental, or tell you what your future with this girl should entail. However, when you say things like this:

[ QUOTE ]
"Manning up" might work for some factory worker who has no ambition in life, and is just going to eventually have kids anyway.

It is a much different story for me - no stable job, risky income, young, inexperienced, and needs to stay emotionally stable to even have a chance at making enough money to support 3 people.

[/ QUOTE ]

...you sound ignorant and selfish. If you have a child, the reasons you've cited for not being ready are not excuses, they're obstacles. Other people's lives are now affected by yours. You may not have wanted that, but it's now a harsh reality. You have to deal with the reasons you're not ready instead of convincing yourself that they're a valid excuse for being a bad father. Not having a stable job, and risky income is something you have to give up. Sorry. Being scared is something you have to get over. Family is the only thing you can count on when it's all said and done. This kid will be counting on you. If you set some assanine parameters on what you'll be available to him/her for, that's being a bad father.

[/ QUOTE ]

He's not talking about whether he wants to be a good father or a bad father. He's talking about whether he wants to be a father at all.

[tuq]

[ QUOTE ]
For many of them, to say the least, it's either that or admit they were stupid as hell and now are totally screwed. Which sounds more reassuring to say to either yourself or family, friends, and strangers? Saying the kid is the best thing ever is pretty standard whether you believe it or not. What else would you say?

[/ QUOTE ]
My father has always told people they didn't want to have me but my mother rolled over during one of his wet dreams. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[Blarg]

I don't even know him and I like him already.

[ed8383]

this thread is the reason vasectomys should be required.

[tuq]

[ QUOTE ]
this thread is the reason vasectomys should be required.

[/ QUOTE ]
I think you should be prohibited from posting in chick-related threads until you update us on your situation. Don't make me post a link.

[gamblore99]

A few weeks ago we learned about the burce effect in class. A female will spontaneously abort a pregnancy if exposed to novel males or their urine. Now this has only been tested in rats, and only really works for 5 days after conception, but its worth a shot.

OP. get some strange dudes to pee on your gf and pray.

Seriously though, I think its pretty terrible for your gf to have the baby, and I think you would be entirely justified in leaving if she had it. She shouldn't have told anyone. She should have just aborted it.

[By-Tor]

still haven't read all the replies...still already know what they say on each side pro/con baby.

here is the bottom line.

you cannot dictate what somebody else does with their body. just as nobody else cannot dictate what can be done with yours.

period. end of statement.

if she wants to have the baby, it is here choice. 100% when it comes right down to it. of course in a perfect world, people work together, blah blah blah.

get over it.

after she makes her decision, you make yours. nothing can change it.