#191
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Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
[ QUOTE ]
I had a friend who used to play the "xxx called, and he wants his xxx back" game... basically the goal was to overuse it so badly that everyone hated him for life, and this result made him laugh with glee. It was kind of like a YOUR MOM series of randomness, but he would play it to amuse himself at parties because he was a misanthrope and didn't much get along with social groups. When I was with him, I would join in too, but it never worked well for me and I chickened out after about 3 tries. So we were at a New Year's Eve party and this was just after that thing about the Olson Twins' bulimia came out. This girl was passed out on her boyfriend's lap on the couch, her face planted on his thigh. Half a dozen people were also in the room either drinking or making out or something. Suddenly the girl wakes up and pukes all over the boyfriend's lap and the sofa. He sits up real fast but (to his credit) didn't like scream or anything, just looked at his girlfriend. She was horrified of course, and the other people in the room just kind of pretended not to notice, and one girl ran into the kitchen to get some paper towels. The girl started crying and right then, my friend pipes up "Hey! Mary-Kate Olsen just called... she wants her eating disorder back!" Of course nobody laughed; I mean it wasn't very funny... but the guy just busted out laughing at his own joke, not caring one bit that it flopped quite poorly. [/ QUOTE ] very funny |
#192
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Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
[ QUOTE ]
So we were at a New Year's Eve party and this was just after that thing about the Olson Twins' bulimia came out. This girl was passed out on her boyfriend's lap on the couch, her face planted on his thigh. Half a dozen people were also in the room either drinking or making out or something. Suddenly the girl wakes up and pukes all over the boyfriend's lap and the sofa. He sits up real fast but (to his credit) didn't like scream or anything, just looked at his girlfriend. She was horrified of course, and the other people in the room just kind of pretended not to notice, and one girl ran into the kitchen to get some paper towels. The girl started crying and right then, my friend pipes up "Hey! Mary-Kate Olsen just called... she wants her eating disorder back!" [/ QUOTE ] God I would have laughed so hard at this. I'm know I've bombed plenty of jokes before but can't remember any specific ones offhand. I'm usually the one guy inappropriately laughing really hard at a bombed joke when everyone else is like "wtf?" |
#193
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Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] I had a friend who used to play the "xxx called, and he wants his xxx back" game... basically the goal was to overuse it so badly that everyone hated him for life, and this result made him laugh with glee. It was kind of like a YOUR MOM series of randomness, but he would play it to amuse himself at parties because he was a misanthrope and didn't much get along with social groups. When I was with him, I would join in too, but it never worked well for me and I chickened out after about 3 tries. So we were at a New Year's Eve party and this was just after that thing about the Olson Twins' bulimia came out. This girl was passed out on her boyfriend's lap on the couch, her face planted on his thigh. Half a dozen people were also in the room either drinking or making out or something. Suddenly the girl wakes up and pukes all over the boyfriend's lap and the sofa. He sits up real fast but (to his credit) didn't like scream or anything, just looked at his girlfriend. She was horrified of course, and the other people in the room just kind of pretended not to notice, and one girl ran into the kitchen to get some paper towels. The girl started crying and right then, my friend pipes up "Hey! Mary-Kate Olsen just called... she wants her eating disorder back!" Of course nobody laughed; I mean it wasn't very funny... but the guy just busted out laughing at his own joke, not caring one bit that it flopped quite poorly. [/ QUOTE ] very funny [/ QUOTE ]Idk if I'd laugh if I was some random person at the party, but it's def funny. |
#194
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Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
this thread morphed from "jokes that flopped" to "jokes that some people found hilarious and others found offensive."
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#195
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Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
[ QUOTE ]
"Hey! Mary-Kate Olsen just called... she wants her vomit back!" [/ QUOTE ] Funnier? |
#196
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Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
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A professor had missed the last class for unknown reasons and it turned out she had gone to the doctor and found out she was pregnant. The next class she put a picture of the ultrasound on the projector and my friend blurted out "That baby looks nothing like me." HI-larious, but very little laughter. [/ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] This story happened in HS about 12 years ago when Mortal Kombat first came out. Our health teacher told us some woman from social services was coming in the next day and she expected us to be on our best behavior. The next day, this woman comes in and shows us a video on physical abuse. The video shows some guy coming home to his wife and 2 kids; he starts an argument w/ the wife. Evenually he starts hitting her in front of the kids and she falls on the ground and he starts kicking her in the head. It was actually pretty graphic, which surprised me. Anyway, just as he's about to stomp on her head, the social woman pauses the video to talk about it; I say, "Finish Her!". About 1/2 the class gasps in shock, the other half are trying not to laugh. My teacher got pissed and sent me to the principal's office. [/ QUOTE ] these are two of the funniest things i've ever read |
#197
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Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
A+ thread
I read "finish her" hours ago and I'm still giggling like a school girl. |
#198
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Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
[ QUOTE ]
"Do you know how to keep your interest in the bedroom going strong after 25 years?" [/ QUOTE ] What was the professor's answer to this? |
#199
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Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
[ QUOTE ]
"Don't do anything you'll regret in 9 months." Man, the ensuing silence was awkward. [/ QUOTE ] Awesome. I would have laughed. |
#200
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Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
[ QUOTE ]
"your mom [whatever they said last]" [/ QUOTE ] I believe "goes to college" is my favorite ending to this one. |
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