Misery loves company poker tactic?

[sweetjazz]

I don't know how much you are willing to make stuff up or go way back in time to come up with examples, but you could say something like, "The other day I couldn't make a hand for what seemed like forever, and I was just about to get up and leave, but I decided I would just play a few more hands to see if my luck turned around. Somebody upstairs must have heard me because I won 5 of the next 6 pots." It might be better to replace yourself in the story by somebody else. "The other day I saw a guy who..."

Basically, you want to tell him a story where the moral is don't leave because you could get really lucky at any time. I imagine that kind of thinking is what brings fish to casinos in the first place.

[RickyG]

[ QUOTE ]
do u like it when u r maliciously befriended?

[/ QUOTE ]

I think this is a bit of a ridiculous statement. Being friendly/empathetic to people at the poker table =/= malicious befriending. I find that I myself play better when I look at everyone at the table, and honestly try to have a good time, then when I see them all as "the target". At least it puts me in a better mood and helps me survive some horrible beats.

Ricky

[Tommy Angelo]

If it is right to say things to bad players to get them to stay, then isn't it exactly as right to say things to good players to get them to leave?

In other words, once we started choosing our words based entirely on their EV, should we only to talk to bad players? Wouldn't that be "leaving money on the table," EV-wise?

Tommy

[winky51]

Actually you have to put yourself in the Fish's shoes to understand what makes it best to keep him there. When you take a bad beat what are YOU focused on? The way "YOU" lost the hand.

So if I get bad beat I don't want to here some other idiot's story about how he got bad beat last week. I want sympathy. My id wants sympathy just like a crying baby wants his mommy. So thus does the fish.

He wants to hear....
"man that was brutal you were ahead. I feel for ya"
"don't worry your bad luck will eventually run out"
"Hey you finally won a pot maybe your bad luck streak is over".

People want sympathetic people to their cause. They want their wounds to be nursed.

If you lost your wife in a car accident just 10 minutes ago, do you really want someone else to tell you how they lost their wife 10 years ago RIGHT NOW? No.

The example I gave are a bit cheezy lines but it is there to just illustrate what people want to hear when they suffer. They want to hear about ME ME ME ME. have pity for ME! Feel sorry for ME! And if they feel like everybody is nice to them and understands their suffering then they will stay.

Be intraspective and you will discover your opponent's weaknesses for we are all human.

[TStoneMBD]

i like this.

[TRBNGR]

I agree fully that making comments solely based on EV wouldn't be wise (I'm not qualified enough to suggest whether it's right or wrong). I do think the more relevant question may be 'Can EV be used in deciding what to say at the table?'. I think the answer is yes and because of that, I would likely use the line sweetjazz suggests since it doesn't require you being a jerk to the person, something like 'It could all turn around on the next hand'. Since EV is not my only consideration when speaking to someone I won't badger a winning player to leave.

[Buckyinsc]

I used to have a problem with getting extremely frustrated and angry very quickly at small things. What an angry or frustrated person wants is to have their feelings validated.

Example: I'm driving in the car with my wife and another driver doesn't look and changes lanes almost hitting us and cutting us off. I get pissed and rant about what a moron with a capital F this jerk is. The wife then proceeds to make an excuse for the other driver, undercutting my position that they're an idiot. That is like her pouring gas on the fire. I'm pissed because we were almost hit and now you want to make me out to be the bad guy for getting mad and make excuses for that a hole? Now I go from mad to totally enraged and now I'm pissed at the wife as much if not more than the driver that cut me off.

Now let's change the wife's reaction to this:

"He is an idiot. I sure hope he learns to drive before he kills someone. Good thing you're paying attention to make sure that jerk didn't hit us!"

Now I've just had my feelings validated. I'm sane, my thoughts are correct, it's the rest of the world that is insane. I begin to calm down, and the frustration subsides.

To repeat, when someone is frustrated or angry and you want to calm them down it is usually best to genuinely agree with the statements they are making, and validate their feelings. They usually are of the frame of mind that they have been unjustly punished, or denied something that they feel was rightly theirs. When you validate their feelings it lets them begin to let go and begin to think more rationally again, and return to their normal behavior prior to the frustration.

This is just from my experience with anger and frustration, and not the result of a visit to a shrink.