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#11
10-01-2007, 06:18 PM
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Re: How do you handle this fine line??
[ QUOTE ]
every night, my girlfriend comes home, and immediately starts talking (complaining) about her job. it drives me up a wall, because i have long days too, yet choose not to bother her with the details. however, i do like to be left alone for an hour to decompress.. anyway, i've learned to nod my head, and occassionally chuckle at her boring stories about everyone at her school. my question, and problem, is this... how do i act interested enough to get her to not bitch that i'm not paying attention, yet not enough for her to think that i really AM interested, and for her to expand her stories to an hour or more?? it's a fine line, and i'm interested to know how other boyfriends/husbands deal with this... case in point: about 5 minutes into her gripes, i chuckled (half-heartedly) at something about her boss. i meant it to show her that i was paying attention (i wasn't, and actually wasn't even sure that it was the right time to laugh), but she took it to mean that i wanted more...'haha..yeah, you know, lemme tell you something ELSE!'.. ugh. anyhow, any tips? i know it isn't the biggest gripe in the world, but at 5pm, after being home 10 minutes and enduring 4 classes of adhd/autistic/asperger's students all day long, the last thing i want to do is hear another teacher gripe about her long day... [/ QUOTE ] This is hilarious. My long-term, live-in gf of many years is presently doing exactly what you are writing about your gf. I am presently doing exactly what you do when your gf blathers unrelentingly. me: uh-huh her: blather, blather, blather, me: ha ha her: why are you lauging? me: it seemed appropriate\ She glares at me and starts opening the mail. her: blather, blather, oh...I got a credit card in the mail today. I wouldn't have known about this except I saw on my show this morining that anyone with a Macy's card gets a master card. If I don't want it, I have to canel it. bitch, bitch, bitch blather blather blather blather me: uh-huh. (interior monlogue while watching tv and typing this: man, that girl from Amelie is really cute. I think Julie...interior monologue interrupted) me: uh huh her: blather, blather, blather, blather, work stuff, blather blather blather me: ha ha (interior monolgue continues: ...Benz was a lot hotter on that vampire tv show than she is on Dexter...man I wish my AA held up in that main event sat..... I would really like to bang that sales rep from xyz company who was so nice to me during lunch...) In closing, Guids is (as always) right. You need to bail now. Before you end up like me. edit: I'm moving out in 70-days. 
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#14
10-01-2007, 06:27 PM
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Re: How do you handle this fine line??
If you can't honestly talk to her about it, breat the [censored] up. It's not going to get better on its own and there's no way she's gonna be any happier about breaking up after you've led her on for another year.
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#16
10-01-2007, 06:31 PM
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Re: How do you handle this fine line??
[ QUOTE ]
If you can't honestly talk to her about it, breat the [censored] up. It's not going to get better on its own and there's no way she's gonna be any happier about breaking up after you've led her on for another year. [/ QUOTE ] This is truth. My fiancee is a hardcore talker. She knows there are times that I'm not really listening intently, and for the most part accepts this. When there are situations where my input is actually useful, I'll occasionally have to say "I'm sorry, I zoned out. Can you repeat that?" There are other times where I just express that I'm doing something else that I'm into at the moment and I'm not feeling the chatting so much. So far all of this seems to work quite well, but we'll see how it goes once we live together.
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#18
10-01-2007, 06:46 PM
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Re: How do you handle this fine line??
[ QUOTE ]
it ain't all THAT important...it's just a random gripe because it happened 4 minutes before i decided to start a thread... [/ QUOTE ] you'll be much more appreciated if you post threads based on content rather than urges/timing
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#20
10-01-2007, 06:47 PM
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Re: How do you handle this fine line??
[ QUOTE ]
This is truth. My fiancee is a hardcore talker. She knows there are times that I'm not really listening intently, and for the most part accepts this. When there are situations where my input is actually useful, I'll occasionally have to say "I'm sorry, I zoned out. Can you repeat that?" There are other times where I just express that I'm doing something else that I'm into at the moment and I'm not feeling the chatting so much. So far all of this seems to work quite well, but we'll see how it goes once we live together. [/ QUOTE ] this is all true, and fits to my situation...i zone out too, and for the most part, she accepts that. we've even talked about it, how she zones out sometimes when i'm talking about poker or coaching baseball, and i do whenever she's talking about whatever she talks about. but it's not even that, it's having to sit here and listen WHEN I DON'T WANT TO BE LISTENING TO ANYONE. inside, i actually get pissed off having to listen.. we've both admitted that sometimes you just need to vent, and don't really care if the other is listening intently, which is 100% true. it's just that it's every day. every day she comes home, and within 2 minutes of her getting home, she's talking about her day. it's just her. i'm not going to change that, nor am i going to break up with her over it..i was just hoping that others have the same problem, and have genius oot ways to deal with it..
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