Marriage: One unfaithfulness exception, or none?

[xxThe_Lebowskixx]

the whole point of marriage is having children, otherwise why even call it marriage, just call if bf/gf.

by getting divorced, you risk screwing up your kids. once you have kids, i think you have to do whatever is best for them, not yourself.

[eviljeff]

Did you just watch the episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel each have a list of 5 celebs they can nail?

[Your Mom]

if you're worried about this, then you shouldn't get married.

[BigPoppa]

[ QUOTE ]
the whole point of marriage is having children, otherwise why even call it marriage, just call if bf/gf.

by getting divorced, you risk screwing up your kids. once you have kids, i think you have to do whatever is best for them, not yourself.

[/ QUOTE ]

So are you saying that people who can't or don't want to have kids shouldn't get married? IMO, it should be more than about kids. It's a lifelong commitment to one person. If you can't handle that commitment, then don't get married.


Also, having miserable parents who are cheating on each other and always fight is gonna be hella bad for the kids. Better to split up than stay together and continue tormenting one another.

[jackflashdrive]

Just try to get her into an open relationship if you are thinking this way. The 'one freebie' (if she actually agrees and doesn't just kick you in the balls when you bring it up) will hang over the marriage like a dark cloud. I've known a few people in open relationships and the obvious complications often come up.

As for forgiveness, that depends a lot on the context. Generally, if the girl wants to have sex with other guys it is because she feels (fairly or unfairly) neglected. If the guy wants to have sex with other women it is oftentimes because he is a guy. I think the marriage is more likely to be structurally unsound in the former case than the latter. Please, if you do get married and if you have kids and if you do at some point cheat for really base reasons (e.g., she was hot I was drunk), just let it go and do not confess the infidelity to your lovely.

[Rococo]

How can you possibly have a general rule about what will happen to your marriage if you cheat. If you get drunk and screw a random person on a business trip, she'll be pissed for a year but maybe you'll be able to work it out. If you carry on with her best friend for a year behind her back, you are surely headed for a divorce.

Either way, it is definitely not worth it to screw around.

[Fast Food Knight]

Personally, with no kids involved, I would get a divorce for sure. Life is WAY too short and precious to spend it being married to someone who you will never fully trust again (at least I know I wouldn't). Kids complicate things. A lot of people say that you have to stay together for the kids. But, I think that your parents and the dynamics in their relationship HUGELY influence kids and the their behavior in relationships when they become adults. In many cases, I believe that staying together does more harm than good. I don't deny that a divorce will obviously have bad effects on the kids, but overall, seeing your parents happy and apart is better for development in the longrun than seeing them miserable and together.

I'm unmarried and childless and reserve the right to change my opinion when the time comes!

[People_Mover]

My wife said if she ever caught me cheating she's take everything and cut my we we off lol [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

I [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] my wife though [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[garcia1000]

Thanks guys. I am actually more worried not about her being deliberately unfaithful, but as a thing where she was manipulated by another guy. She is very trusting and might make some unwise decisions if such a guy came along. I have no plans to have an affair and I don't think I will do such a thing.

I'll not bring it up, and if it really does happen, I'll deal with it then. I think it's a less than 5% chance it'll come up, anyway.

[jackflashdrive]

[ QUOTE ]
I think it's a less than 5% chance it'll come up, anyway.

[/ QUOTE ]

Statistically, 25% of men admit to cheating and 11% of women admit to cheating. When you break out the data by income, high income males cheat more than 50% of the time. I'd say there is a greater than 5% chance this comes up.

"According to the 2004 data, one of the new reasons are family strains, which account for 18 per cent of the divorce. Emotional and physical abuse account for 17 per cent of the divorces. Similarly, mid-life crisis accounts for 13 per cent of the divorces. Addictions to alcoholism and gambling accounts for 6 per cent of the divorce. Addiction to work accounts for 6 per cent of the divorce. Extramarital affairs continues to top the list. It accounts for 27 per cent of marriages ending in divorce.

While 75 per cent of men are found to be involved in extramarital affairs, 25 per cent of women have relationship with men outside the purview of marriage. The 2004 survey also established that women seeking divorce was to the extent of 93 per cent in divorce cases and only a small segment of men questioned them."

Oh, and watch your woman closely when she is fertile