Tell OOT a random story

[Quicksilvre]

Back when I was in tenth grade I was taking Latin (which in itself would require a random story to explain). We were stuffed into a room in the music building at our HS because there was no room in the regular building for us. This room had giant windows on two sides, so our teacher had to put blue construction paper on the halls to keep us from staring out. We were right across the hall from the ROTC classrooms and bulletin board (more on that later).

There were two guys in that class, Sean and Zafir, who decided to draw the letter W on everything. I can't even remember why; neither of them had last names that started with W or anything. So anyway, by October our two construction paper walls were covered in the letter W from floor to ceiling, mostly done during the morning announcements (when no class was being conducted).

So one day Zafir and Sean left the room during announcements, which is pretty standard. The teacher didn't mind, since this meant that they weren't goofing off in the room. (Paper ball volleyball was standard for them during announcements.) So anyway, with a couple minutes left the teacher rounded them up and brought them back in and OMG THERE ARE W'S ALL OVER THE ROTC BULLETIN BOARD! Everyone else was like "ldo," but the teacher thought she was going to get into trouble with the ROTC people because she wasn't controlling the class. So Sean and Zafir turned the paper around for her, and that was the end of the W's.

She doesn't teach in this school system anymore.

[Dan.]

Billnye,

lol.

[DarrenX]

When I was going through my divorce 7 years ago, I contacted a lawyer through a friend of a friend. After two phone calls, I was expecting the paperwork in the mail. After waiting a week or so I called again asking if it had been sent. The guy I talked to denied knowing me, and told me to stop calling.

A few days later I received a pink envelope with a return address of 'secret agent man'. Inside were 5 copies of page 3 of the divorce papers, and nothing else.

[XXXNoahXXX]

[ QUOTE ]
When I was going through my divorce 7 years ago, I contacted a lawyer through a friend of a friend. After two phone calls, I was expecting the paperwork in the mail. After waiting a week or so I called again asking if it had been sent. The guy I talked to denied knowing me, and told me to stop calling.

A few days later I received a pink envelope with a return address of 'secret agent man'. Inside were 5 copies of page 3 of the divorce papers, and nothing else.

[/ QUOTE ]

this one is suprisingly awesome.

[XXXNoahXXX]

when i was little, my parents used to take my older brother and i to hang out with some kid named leonardo. we used to always go over there and play that NEs game with the floor pad, not the track one, the one where you are like running around some planet. then he would come to our place and swim in our pool. then we moved from Cali to MA and never saw him again.

i later learned that the only reason we always hung out with him was because my dad bought weed off his mom.

then he made a movie called titanic.

[Reckless1der]

When I was 17 years old, I got ran over by a fat lady driving a VW bus. She came flying out of her driveway and flat took me out. After the dust had settled, I was largely OK, but had a huge gash in my shin where the license plate had cut my flesh open to the bone. This required a skin graft to fix, so I was bed ridden as I had to keep my leg elevated above my heart. Too much blood pressure would rupture the newly forming arteries.

So I’m in the hospital and they expected me to crap in a bedpan which I refused to do. Personally, I insist on good ol’ American plumbing, and still to this day will not use a Sani-toi, etc. Anyway, back to the real story. I was always a day away from being allowed to get to use the real toilet so I just held it. Going on day 3 or 4 the rubber hit the road, and I could hold out no longer. I called for the bedpan. Wouldn’t you know the most beautiful nurse I have ever seen in my life brought it in, gave it to me, and left me to do my business. I was constipated as hell, but then it broke, and I’m telling you it just wouldn’t stop. I don’t need to go into too much detail for you to get the idea of what happen. I overflowed the pot, and crap came oozing out everywhere. It was a complete and total disaster. The nurse absolutely freaked when she came back and had to clean everything, my nads and all included.

The next day she tells me she quitting nursing. I thought for sure it was due to my mess, but as it happened, later that night a Doctor had proposed to her. True Story.

[VarlosZ]

One day during my senior year of high school, some freinds and I were at a McDonald's after school. On the floor under our table, we found a black calendar/day planner. The only thing inside that indicated the identity of the owner was a HIP insurance card belonging to a man named Varlos Z. Brathwaite. Needless to say, I though that was the coolest name ever.

I tracked him down through HIP and a few days later dropped off the organizer at his wife's job (she worked at a sporting goods store around the corner from the Mcdonald's). In exchange for this kndness, I assumed the right to use his name for all pseudonymonous purposes, in perpetuity. I've been "VarlosZ" online for nearly a decade now.

[Droogie]

2 years ago a friend and me were going to The Hague to get drunk with 2 friends living there. Since he's going from home and I go straight from work I thought it was a smart idea to meet at the Central Station (CS) of Rotterdam because it's midway for us both. I text him to meet up at CS and he replies he'll be there at 19.05.

I get there, from work, at 19.00 and decide to wait for him at our usual spot... time passes and by 19.10 I text him what's up and he replies he'll be there in 5 mins. Ok, I chill some more but by 19.20 I am seriously starting to get tired of waiting so I call him and the following conversation ensues:

Me: Where the [censored] are you?
Him: I am standing at the Albert Heijn (shop).
Me: (wondering why...) oh well I'll walk over there then. See you in a sec.

Walk over there, no friend to be seen. Call him again:

Me: WTF I don't see you?!
Him: Right in front of the AH.
[I start to put 1 and 1 together at last]
Me: Wait... a... second... at which CS are you?
Him: What?
Me: Which city?
Him: The Hague
Me: [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored]

The best part was that between the time both calls took place part of the power supply between The Hague and Rotterdam was cut off so I had to wait another 45 minutes (!) before the [censored] train would even start moving. In the end I was more than 1.5 hours late while I could have been there 10 mins before him if I would have gone straight to The Hague from work.

To this day whenever we talk about meeting up at CS... one of us ends up saying: "Rotterdam right? [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]"

[guids]

[ QUOTE ]
I rented heat at blockbuster tonight, the guy at the counter spent about five minutes talking about deniro and pacino and some dude that directed westerns or some such thing. It was pretty awesome.

[/ QUOTE ]


I rented reno 911 a couple of weeks back, and some guy asked for an opinion on Assault on Precinct 13, from teh girl at the counter, I only knew what movie it was becuase she spoiled the whole entire thing from begining to end for the poor guy. I was trying to hold back the laughter, as she kept talking and talking.

[DrewDevil]

[ QUOTE ]
I heard a rumor from my dad that his brothers sons best friends cousin who is AJ Hawk, and he said that the otherday they hit up McDonalds (Hawk, Favre, and Driver). Well, Favre had to take a piss, and same w/ Driver so they both were peeing in the bathroom, and my dads brothers sons best friends cousin (Hawk) is like "wtf this is taking forever" So he walks in and is like "wtf our McFlurries are mel..." and supposely Favre was sneaking a peek at Drivers dick. Well at first my dads brothers sons best friends cousin (Hawk) is like, WTF MAN!?! And Favre is like what?!?! and than Driver is like "hey" and then Hawk is like, dude you were checkin him out! And Favre is like, wtf thats what the showers are for, duh.. but he didnt say that, instead he said, no I wasnt!!!!111!! and than Driver was like "GROSS DONT LOOK AT ME THERE" and than Favre is like, srsly guys, I wasnt, I promise on my records for consecutive games! and Drivers like, "ok he definately wasnt looking if he promised on his records" and than Hawk is like "ya maybe, but than he goes into this wierd CSI thing and recalls the whole scenario in slow-mo and thinks "wtf were u 2 peeing next to each other, there are open pisser holders (he didnt know the word). And Favre looks down in shock at the evidence, and slowly glares at Hawk and says...dont tell the wife...

I don't know if I should believe my dad or not.

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought this was going to end with a punchline consisting of a groan-inducing pun.