Two-part post: friend's keys stolen, passing gas on my furniture

[nath]

[ QUOTE ]
If there aren't any women who you're trying to bang (wives and girlfriends don't count) then blowing ass is unacceptable.

[/ QUOTE ]
So... it's okay for him to fart if there ARE women around?

[Gobias Ind.]

Man Law dictates you can't really complain on the basis that he's farting on your furniture.

Really the only time I think it's proper to comment on farting are either:
a) to laugh
b) comment if he's destroying the clean air content in the room, in which case you have full right to say something to him

[mrkilla]

Friends Keys -
I guess he plans to check every house from Falgstaff to Yuma? In other words if they keys were even stolen unless your dummy friend put his name, address and social security number on his keys then I wouldn't worry. Unless of course you were followed home, then your all dead anyway.

If you and your friends are decently close ripping ass after a long night drinking with only guys around I think is acceptable.

[niss]

Tuq,

Let us know how you handle when you bleed from your vagina all over your couch.

Questioning a guy farting? WTF?

[XXXNoahXXX]

I think you need to stop hanging out with people that make a production out of farting.

[solids]

There's nothing funnier then a well-timed fart, while constantly ripping ass is more just annoying. Much like that anti-drinking ad says, farting is best done in moderation. I likely wouldn't get upset by it, though. Either return fire, or if you're out of ammo, a good punch to the arm should suffice.

As for the problem at hand, I'm still scratching my head over why you would leave your valuables on a bar table. This seems borderline retarded. While skimming the thread, I noticed you were wearing gym shorts, but c'mon. That excuse seems pretty bush league.

Also, I'm still wondering how these guys will know which house is your friends? Did they get into his car or something? This was a little unclear.

[niss]

"It's the fart game. You'll play it some day, son."

[Dids]

Random thought:

My personal rules of fashion dictate that I never leave the house without pants/shorts that have pockets unless I'm going to the gym. It seems weird that this was the case not only for you but for all your friends.

[tuq]

Dids, to be clear I think I was the only one without shorts w/pockets, it's just what I grabbed when I was heading out the door, since no chicks worth giving a second look towards ever go into that bar.

solids, it's incredibly standard for us to leave our stuff on a bar table. All of us. For one, we're never straying more than a few feet, and for another it's more comfortable. This was just a weird situation where a couple of unknown randoms were between us and the table, and were sharing the same table.

As for concern about what could happen, I'll say it again: his registration is in his glove box, his address is on his registration, and they have his house key. A true pro would have opened the car, jotted down his address, locked it back up, and robbed his place in the future. He's got a nice rig so it follows that he would have some decent stuff at his place.

That's all probably a bit paranoid of me, but it's very possible.

As for the farting, I can't fart at will. My father boasted that some guy was a dick to him on a flight once, so he farted the rest of the flight just to get him back. If I am at someone's place and need to blow ass, I go into another room, or the bathroom, or outside or something. I do not fart in their car. Also, the third guy in our party yesterday let go an SBD in front of the game which we stumbled into. I do not find this funny anymore, as we are all in our thirties.

[JasonK]

I have a hard time leaving my sunglasses sitting on a table let alone my wallet and keys. Not that I'm afraid of them being stolen, I'm afraid I would forget them.