Need help Re: common sense/common knowledge

[iversonian]

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is he happy with his life? if he's happy i don't see why you'd need to make him sound like such a chud, seems as if he's picked a career that suits him and he's not too worried about anything.

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I'm not sold on the idea that your life will by hunky dory just as long as a couple college admissions deans make a mistake and admit you. Like I said, I anticipate a trainwreck. The question of how happy he can be despite his circumstances, I think, is another topic altogether.

[NT!]

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is he happy with his life? if he's happy i don't see why you'd need to make him sound like such a chud, seems as if he's picked a career that suits him and he's not too worried about anything.

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I'm not sold on the idea that your life will by hunky dory just as long as a couple college admissions deans make a mistake and admit you. Like I said, I anticipate a trainwreck. The question of how happy he can be despite his circumstances, I think, is another topic altogether.

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it doesn't really matter whether you're sold on the idea that he can be happy in spite of what YOU perceive to be incompetence on his part. that's not what i asked you. i asked you if HE is happy. is he?

i'm sure you've done your best to convince him he's an idiot for not knowing what a deductible is. i wonder if he'd be happier if you didn't talk about him as if he's a two-year-old?

what do you mean 'despite his circumstances'? sounds like he's in pretty good shape. he gets to go to college, has a job lined up that suits him pretty well, and has a family that looks out for him. what is the problem?

whether he can be happy is the entirety of the question. that's what any caring person wants most for their loved ones. if he's happy being pharmacist who has no clue about army ranks or deductibles or amperes, good for him. i think you should stop talking about your brother like an idiot, because it probably does more to make YOU feel good about yourself than it does to help him.

there are plenty of people who i would describe as utterly ignorant. a lot of them are MUCH happier than i am.

[iversonian]

If he comes home with an enlistment contract signing him for Iraq for the next 4 years because it didn't occur to him to read the fine print, I'm still gonna have a lotta splaining to do to my dad, and the I-think-he's-still-happy defense ain't gonna cut it.

And no, I don't sit him down and quiz him on amperes just to mock him. They're just examples I made up to draw the picture for y'all who've never met him. And yes, knowing the officer/enlisted distinction is pretty damn important if you're about to sell your ass to the Army. Knowing what a deductible is pretty damn important if you're going to buy auto insurance. And yes, I think it's better to lecture him on this stuff, even to the point of making him feel stupid, rather than just letting it go. Happier if I didn't talk to him like a two year old? Well, that'd be all good and well as long as life didn't have consequences, like, you know, accidents and insurance claims and jail time for going AWOL.

If you want to take issue with my attitude, fine. Point taken. But what I'm after are solutions, not a status check on my niceness as a brother.

[NT!]

Ok.

Erik Erikson tells us that children develop a sense of autonomy and competency during the late toddler years and the latency (middle childhood) phase. This occurs when children first leave the home, go to school and begin to act independently. They seek approval for their mastery of academic tasks and life skills. The conflict at this developmental stage is dubbed 'industry vs. inferiority.'

If your brother has failed to complete this stage in his development, and thus failed to develop a sense of himself as competent, industrious and autonomous, he will have to go back and complete these developmental tasks. Failure to complete such tasks often results from parents who keep their children too close to them, do not give them freedom to explore their world or learn new things, or do not give positive feedback when a child masters a new task or skill.

Oh, right, Asian family.

[DrPublo]

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You should pm edtost.

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Why? I am not familiar with edtost. Context, please.

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Just send him a pm with the subject line "I heard you are smart but have no effing common sense." Tell him I sent you.

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My first post in months, but this is hilarious--both because its 110% correct and because I can visualize you saying it. Good seeing you last month.

The Doc

[happyhappyhappy]

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And yes, I think it's better to lecture him on this stuff, even to the point of making him feel stupid, rather than just letting it go. Happier if I didn't talk to him like a two year old? Well, that'd be all good and well as long as life didn't have consequences, like, you know, accidents and insurance claims and jail time for going AWOL.

If you want to take issue with my attitude, fine. Point taken. But what I'm after are solutions, not a status check on my niceness as a brother.

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Did you ever think that just because of they way you 'view' your brother, that you have probably talked to him for a long time now with an air of conceit that doesn't make him feel good?

I bet your brother has a lot going on in his mind, but if you have always talked to him with that air of conceited thinking that he is not getting it, he probably shut you off to his true emotions a long time ago. I bet you don't have the first clue what your brother loves, and what his hopes and dreams are in life. Try asking him sometime.

I bet there is a lot more going on in there than you think.

You should try, as nicely and laid back as you can, to ask him these things, and find out more of what he loves about life. It might give you a clearer picture to let you know how he ticks, how he learns, how he thinks, and how he sees things.

[El Diablo]

iversonian,

"I'm the smart one in the family and take an interest in topics like art, philosophy, public policy, along with my professional interests."

You sound awesome.

[Banks2334]

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But what I'm after are solutions, not a status check on my niceness as a brother.

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The solution is for you to worry about yourself. Plenty of "street dumb" people living their lives without your help.

[iversonian]

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iversonian,

"I'm the smart one in the family and take an interest in topics like art, philosophy, public policy, along with my professional interests."

You sound awesome.

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I was perfectly aware of how that line might come across when I wrote it. I was hoping most people would understand that it was meant to be simply a matter of fact statement for context rather than what, a brag? is what you're implying? It doesn't even make me look good to have written that. And I don't think it's any transgression to actually be the smart one in the family. I'm just trying to give an accurate account to get good advice from someone who might be familiar with my situation.

[meep_42]

My advice:
Trial by fire. Let him learn for himself, you said he was a smart guy, give him a little slack.

-d