Unrequited love - what to do?

[edfurlong]

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In the short term, how do I stop thinking about her?


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Its simple. Stop doing it. When you start thinking about, think about something else. Pick up a solitary hobby. Something you do by yourself. Think about that. If you start thinking about her, force your mind to think about said hobby. Or read a lot. Engage your mind in a book and leave it less time to think about the girl.

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Or, you know, talk to a real girl, one that might actually blow your fat ass.

[NT!]

so you dropped out of one of the easiest and most useless majors on the planet, put on fifty pounds and you're a huge sissy who likes having women put things in his ass. you live in a fantasy universe. meanwhile, she's a successful and intelligent doctor and a purty lady.

the mystery isn't why she doesn't love you, the mystery is why she even hung out with you in the first place.

[edfurlong]

I didn't read the original post, can someone confirm ass play? I'd read that.

[El Diablo]

nature,

Haven't read your post, but if ed's off base, maybe you're ugly?

[jthegreat]

Listen to Bell Biv Devoe. That girl is poison.

[juanez]

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the friends ladder

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This is funny sheeet.

[Vyse]

I can relate with a large amount of your post, as I have gone through a very similar "relationship." The solution is simple.

First, you already know she doesn't like you and never will love you like you love her. You're still gaga over her, though. There's one solution here: talk to her, tell her the vast extent of her feelings, and have her reject you, flat out. If she won't reject you like that, leave her an ultimatum -- if you don't respond or whatever, we can't ever see each other again because seeing will pain me all the time. Whatever, do what you have to do -- the point is to get her to openly admit she has no feelings about you.

After that you can heal. It will take a while, and even years after, you will still hurt every now and then with the memory of her, but you will be able to move on. You have to move on. You can accept your failure and live your life. Don't be a coward and forever chase what you cannot have.

[nature\\\'s_hated]

I completed a BA and a Masters. Dropped out of a PhD because I didn't have any funding - that's no crime. And guess what, I'm intelligent, articulate, amusing company. I'm screwed up about women but still charming and likeable. I've got friends you'd be way more surprised want to hang out with me than her - more glamorous successful beautiful promiscuous and rich, if that's how you want to measure someone's worth - but heck people seem to like me.





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so you dropped out of one of the easiest and most useless majors on the planet, put on fifty pounds and you're a huge sissy who likes having women put things in his ass. you live in a fantasy universe. meanwhile, she's a successful and intelligent doctor and a purty lady.

the mystery isn't why she doesn't love you, the mystery is why she even hung out with you in the first place.

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[edfurlong]

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but heck people seem to like me.

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Now you're just being silly.

[nature\\\'s_hated]

Thanks for your post, which is very wise and clearly from your own experience. Yes, that's exactly what I should do. Because she never flat-out said "I will never date/sleep with/love you" I've been able to keep the hope alive. She preferred just to ignore it. If she had said that at the beginning, we'd have lost touch. The thing is, I can look back over the last five years and see some really happy times I've had with her, which I'd not have had if I'd brought things to a crisis. But I can also see she causes manic emotions in me, extremes of happiness and misery, and holds me back from moving on in my life and falling for someone else.

She'd really hate if I tried to force a confrontation. It feels like it'd be easier for me just never to call her, text her, contact her in any way. But I know if I did that I'd be leaving the option open to see her again in future.


[ QUOTE ]
I can relate with a large amount of your post, as I have gone through a very similar "relationship." The solution is simple.

First, you already know she doesn't like you and never will love you like you love her. You're still gaga over her, though. There's one solution here: talk to her, tell her the vast extent of her feelings, and have her reject you, flat out. If she won't reject you like that, leave her an ultimatum -- if you don't respond or whatever, we can't ever see each other again because seeing will pain me all the time. Whatever, do what you have to do -- the point is to get her to openly admit she has no feelings about you.

After that you can heal. It will take a while, and even years after, you will still hurt every now and then with the memory of her, but you will be able to move on. You have to move on. You can accept your failure and live your life. Don't be a coward and forever chase what you cannot have.

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