Dear B&M Douchebags, (beef thread, add yours) - Page 2

FULL RAKE · #1 10-09-2006, 01:07 PM

Dear young contruction worker,

Please don't try to stare me down with your rapist gaze, it won't work homie, I been in jail. I will however, beleive you if you say you have one or more bodies in your basement. Also, despite your best efforts at formulating articulate conversation, none at the table were fooled. Especially the hot dealer, SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. Wipe that smirk off your face, calling 2 cold and checkfolding the flop every other hand is not xprt you transparent ass-jockey.

IHateKeithSmart · #2 10-09-2006, 03:37 PM

Dear guy eating right next to me:

Please take a break from the action while eating, or at least wash your hands prior to chowing down. Also, please clean your fingernails before leaving the house, and shower if at all possible. If you insist on playing while eating, please wipe whatever disgusting sauce that is off your hands before handling the chips/cards.

Sincerely,
IHKS

Vex · #3 10-09-2006, 06:29 PM

Dear Gambin' Redneck Guy,

I know you are down four buy-ins and I appreciate that you need to get it back. You've told me several times about how you should be at home with your girlfriend. Unfortunately, there's only so many times you can three-bet the river with bottom pair before the ATM stops letting you withdraw more cash.

Dear Drunken Table Captain,

We get that you know basic odds and strategy, and it's cool if you think you're educating us. But, we all know you're just showing off. That said, sometimes monologue should be INTERNAL, especially when your breath smells like someone's streaked old skivvies soaked in Jack Daniels.

Dear Rich Gambler's Girlfriend,

I'm so glad to hear that your boyfrend is up $1900 in the big game, and that he's happy to buy you another rack of chips. You are gorgeous and I thank you for sitting directly to my right and smiling as you chatter and play.

Dear Passive Chaser Guy,

Nice four-outer. Thanks for betting right out on the river instead of checkraising me.

Dear LAG Asian Guy and Quiet Arch-Nemesis,

Thanks for having your little raising war when I flopped that boat. I didn't realize you were so focused on each other that you wouldn't put me on a hand when I checkraised the turn. I appreciate the opportunity to cap the river, and for that I thank you from the bottom of my stack.