Girls and choice of words

[Sephus]

it's not "bud," it's "but."

[Lurker.]

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it's not "bud," it's "but."

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how does that come from "bud" on a standard cellphone...

[MrMon]

This thread makes me glad I'm married. But then so do half the threads on OOT.

[Shadowrun]

nothing really to add but to say i use the word "peace" instead of cya,bye etc. pretty much all the time. So i would read in to that too much.

[Fast Food Knight]

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when a girl talks to you about another guy, it's girl-code for "I'm not interested in you romantically."

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I don't really have any advice for OP but I wanted to address this. I think this is correct only some of the time. If a girl meets a guy she is interested in, and is in a relationship that she feels she can't straight up avoid mentioning or pretend she isn't in, she will complain about said boyfriend in order to give the impression that it might be ending soon and she may potentially be looking for something better. I've seen it done many times (especially with younger, teenage girls).

[Lurker.]

guys, she's not in a relationship (i know from a fact). This is just some random guy she knows from school or w/e

[fluffpop62]

IMHO, you have good news and bad news. It kind of depends what she was saying about the guy; is he her boss and he's being annoying? Is it her brother in law or someone she clearly has a strictly platonic relationship with? Otherwise I would be inclined to believe that she would like you to think she is unavailable.

At the same time, I wouldn't say that bud is as negative as you're making it out to be. I've definitely used it in order to make it clear that I'm not too interested (or other things like that, nls for example hates it when I call him "man" or "dude" because that's what you call your friends/brother) and she may just be trying to keep you in your place. The reason I said that there's good news is because she could have just said I'm at my cabin for the weekend and can't hang out; instead she said I'm at my cabin for the weekend and can't hang out 'till monday which gives you a clear timeline for when she'll be able to hang out with you. I think that's a good sign [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

I'm glad that you started out with texting, though, because phone calls are usually intimidating for us young girls and I know if I were her I would not have answered the phone if you had called (obviously this is just myself, but I know that I think phone calls are awkward when you don't know the person).

[Lurker.]

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IMHO, you have good news and bad news. It kind of depends what she was saying about the guy; is he her boss and he's being annoying? Is it her brother in law or someone she clearly has a strictly platonic relationship with? Otherwise I would be inclined to believe that she would like you to think she is unavailable.



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okay, since this seems to mean so much, i'll post the actual text logs. FWIW, i know of this guy (wouldnt say i know him) and he knows of me as well. He is kinda mildly entertaining, but one of those bouncing off the walls kinda try to be funny guys (if that makes sense).

"haha, ya i was so pissed i went to coffee with that annoying moron"
i replied with something along the lines of, if he's annoying why would you hang out with him

"K i saw him and i was like [censored] run away then he was like emily come for coffee and i pretty much had no choice"

then i just said something like, "haha or lol" (or maybe something else, i dont save outgoing, but she replied with):

"ugh, thats all i have to say about it"

That second one made me think she's possibly stupid (not really a problem, just wont get involved in a relationship with her if that's the case). And i'm not sure hwat i said to make her say, "ugh, that's all i have to say about it" but i think that the fact that she said it was def. a posotive.

[VoraciousReader]

This is her signalling you that she's attractive to other guys, imo. I wouldn't worry about it.

[Phil153]

It seems you're overthinking this. You have an in, and she's receptive to further conversation; what she feels or thinks now is largely irrelevant. She probably doesn't know how she feels about you, so you trying to figure it out is only going to end up in confusion.

Bud is usually a bad sign (if a girl said that to me, I'd drop her very quickly), but girls blurt all sorts of things when they're nervous or preoccupied or trying to establish themselves.

The other thing you need to realize is that girls are slow to latch onto a guy. We see a girl and decide it's what we want right away (mainly because girls have far more assets than guys, and you can instantly tell whether they're attractive and charming). But girls generally need to have guys grow on them, and in the meantime remain receptive to any guy who grabs their attention. Even guys they initially dislike.

Anyway I'm not trying to give you advice, merely point out the way in which you need to view her messages and signals. What you want, and how you convey that, is far more important that what she wants.