Dad wants to move in with me and my friend...

[black_drake]

Thanks for the replies.
I'm just a bit pissed at why my Dad would put me in a position like this. Kinda obvious that this would make my room mate uncomfortable - even my Grandma asked my Dad if my room mate would be uncomfortable.

I'm gonna try and talk to him (he's old fashioned, so he's probably going to get hurt/pissed) and let him know that this would be vey unfair to my room mate and inconvenient. I would also let him know that he can stay over once in awhile but he can't stay long term.

[WhoIam]

Here's what to do:
You: Dad, I have something to tell you. I'm gay.
Him: What?!
You: No, not really, but umm, you can't move in with me.

Then put on "Cats in the Cradle."

Serious answer: Explain to your dad you're an adult now, you need a place of your own, etc. Ask what you'll do if you get a girlfriend.

[amplify]

This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard, people can not just decide to move in with you.

[tboss888]

[black_drake]

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This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard, people can not just decide to move in with you.

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Father isn't just 'people'.

But aye, I come from Asian tradition family, so respect to parents/elders are pretty paramount. Ofcourse, common sense usually helps out but when it comes to blood, you can't just use the same judgement/method used on others.

[CrayZee]

You're definitely going to have to talk to your roomie about it. I know that I'd be like WTF if I was in your spot, too. It's a 2 bedroom, not 3.

Why not say, hey, it's 2 bedroom. When the lease is up, we'll move into a 3. It wouldn't be fair to my roomie w/ you sleeping in the living room. At least it would buy you a little time.

[Golden_Rhino]

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How did he just decide to movie in with you? Was there a conversation? Did he show up at your door with a sleeping bag? It's a bad situation for you since you seem to respect your dad, but don't particularly get along with him.

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Cause as I was surfing the net 20 mins ago, he is going around packing his stuff. I asked him, where ya going. He replies, "oh, thought I might move in with you and your buddy. You guys lives pretty close to where I work. And Uncle's house is getting a bit too cramped." (Since my Auntie and her son came back for Holiday.)

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You gotta tell him now because it'll be too late once he moves in. You gotta be straight with him. It might hurt his feelings, but better to talk it out now than to have a big fight down the road.

ps....

Is this your dad?

[Scary_Tiger]

Asian people are crazy devoted to their parents but this is way over the top.

[traz]

If I were in this situation, these are the things I would do. Of course your relationship with your dad might be a little different.

First I'd talk to my dad and explain to him that I'm an adult, with an adult roomate, and it's not fair to either of you for him just to move in. Make it clear that you appreciate EVERYTHING he's done for you, and that you'd like to help him in anyway you can, but him living with you just doesn't work.

At that point, I'd think of ways to help him. I'd help him find somewhere else to stay, maybe work some kind of money arrangement if that's the problem. If it came to it, I'd throw out the idea that he could TEMPORARILY stay with you guys, but that he'd try to find his own place asap.

During that time, he has to remember that the place is YOURS, and not his, and your lifestyle won't be changing because of any of this. He's the one that'll need to adjust.

I'm asian, so I really understand the idea that children must always do everything for their parents, but you need to just talk to him and let him know how you feel.

[imitation]

You should have mentioned you are asian first this makes way more sense now.